Mental Illness Awareness and Support Thread

[bluecat*dancing]

Let;s see how we go.

[the_great_she_elephant]

Perhaps - and I say this very tentatively, and with absolutely no authority.  - this inability to think of him is your subconcsious  telling you it's time to let go of the unhappiness and unanswerable questions. Perhaps, when you are able (ready) to do so again you will find that it no longer hurts as it did before.

[underbat]

I'm going to repeat what NatashaK said on Tuesday:

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Hi everyone,

Please be well aware that this is a public forum and sharing personal experiences and information about your personal life is not always the best option.

This thread has the full support of the Moderation team, we just hope everyone considers their information well before sharing it on the Discussion Boards.  

Regards,

NatashaK

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just a reminder.

[underbat]

Hi everyone,

Please be well aware that this is a public forum and sharing personal experiences and information about your personal life is not always the best option.

This thread has the full support of the Moderation team, we just hope everyone considers their information well before sharing it on the Discussion Boards.  

Regards,

NatashaK

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just a reminder.

[izabsmiling]

Thanks for that 

[**meep**]

That is so true, Darki, and that is why support threads like these are so important.

I have struggled to accept the loss of a loved one and now I understand that a huge part of being able to move on is to learn to accept that things happen that are completely out or our control and no matter what we do, we cannot change them.   She ele mentioned earlier about making a choice.  It eventually did come to that for me.  I still think about my father every day but I no longer lock myself in the room and cry.  That was not going to bring him back.   My psychologist told me that we do things because we get something out of it.  What was my payoff?  I eventually realised that I was punishing myself because I felt guilty.   I just didn't deserve to be happy.  From time to time I still have those thoughts but I have learnt how to challenge them.  After years of living in a certain frame of mind, it takes a while to re-train how we think but the more we do it, the more we start to get used to the new way of thinking.  It is possible to feel lighter again.  Never give up and be kind to yourself when you stumble.

[lloydslights]

Hi all, I am back.

Visited the daughter (bi-polar).  The visit wasn't as 'exhausting' as in the past.  She has been consistent with her medication and even though she's not seeing a psychiatrist at present, she is doing well.  She has a new part time job.  She has signed on for an on-line tech course.

It was encouraging listening to her as she is coping with her temper.  Those very basic words that we teach our young ones to live by.....and I had to reinforce 30 years later..........

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything".

"Walk away and count to 10 when in a argumentative situation."  

She is living by those words and quoting them too.  But the best ones?

"Mum, thank you for your guidance and patience."

YAY!  

For an undemonstrative mum, there was a few hugs and tears involved anyway.

That's it for now, from me. Thanks for listening.

DEB

[jvharrison]

Hugs Purps thinking of you and sending strenght your way, keep chugging girl:)x

[bluecat*dancing]

Baby steps, PH, baby steps. You've done one thing that needs to be done, now do one thing just for you. Allow yourself to take the rest of the day off. Sit in the garden for a while or, have a cup of tea or coffee, or, watch tv, or, sleep. Do anything that is just for you and guiltfree.Be gentle with yourself while you are going through this. You are grieving.

[the_great_she_elephant]

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@**meep** wrote:

That is so true, Darki, and that is why support threads like these are so important.

I have struggled to accept the loss of a loved one and now I understand that a huge part of being able to move on is to learn to accept that things happen that are completely out or our control and no matter what we do, we cannot change them.   She ele mentioned earlier about making a choice.  It eventually did come to that for me.  I still think about my father every day but I no longer lock myself in the room and cry.  That was not going to bring him back.   My psychologist told me that we do things because we get something out of it.  What was my payoff?  I eventually realised that I was punishing myself because I felt guilty.   I just didn't deserve to be happy.  From time to time I still have those thoughts but I have learnt how to challenge them.  After years of living in a certain frame of mind, it takes a while to re-train how we think but the more we do it, the more we start to get used to the new way of thinking.  It is possible to feel lighter again.  Never give up and be kind to yourself when you stumble.

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Meep, that is very profound and very true.

PH I wonder if it would help if you set yourself a task each day - to go out and do some small, special thing just for yourself:: a manicure, a massage, a walk by the river, anything a bit indulgent that you would normally enjoy.. Make yourself do it even if you don't feel you have the energy and - here's the really important part -  while you are doing it tell yourself, consciously and deliberately,  This is my gift from Tim: I have earned it, I deserve it and ' I am doing it to honour his memory.'

It will probably be very hard at first to convince yourself, t but if you persevere and really  work at it, you might just surprise yyourself.

[bluecat*dancing]

Deb, great to hear that things are falling into place with your daughter and that she is in a good head space. It warms your heart when your kids let you know that they appreciate you and that you've done the right thing.

Good to see, JV and Iza. I hope that all is well with you both.

Hello to everyone else too. Having a day in which my upand go has up and gone. I had a much needed sleep in and am having my first cup of coffee for the day. Time to take my meds then have a shower. After that, I intend to clean out the fridge. I say intend because it may not end up happening. lol. That sense of being overwhelmed can be overwhelming.

My grandkid has been here for the weekend and my daughter is due to pick her up some time today. My grandkid is grey and fluffy and loves her Gran. She is a beautifulcat.

[bluecat*dancing]

Grief takes as long as it takes. There is no time limit and I don't know if it ever does end but rather changes until you find a healthy place for the feelings to live.