Mental Illness Awareness and Support Thread

[bluecat*dancing]

Let;s see how we go.

[bluecat*dancing]

Further to that, I think that when the death is sudden, your brain gets thrown into an avalanche of powerful and intense emotions.  When death is expected, the grieving process starts long before the person has died, so your brain gets a chance to come to terms with it, to accept it. To find a place for it.

[izabsmiling]

Thankyou, Hello and best wishes to you and everyone here Bluecat .

[catsnknots]

I have been trying to search for some information on the inability to see things during times of distress.... it is a phenomenon that happens and it is a reaction to distress and it saves the brain from more trauma. 

I remember studying it 7 yrs ago while doing psychology at uni. 

often it is an inability to remember, the brain stops you from remembering traumatic events so that you do not live this again and again. I did read that it can flow into the real world where people can't remember what others look like or who they are, just like amnesia. 

Purps... I think that in time you will once again be able to look at your photos of your son and be able to remember the good times you had with him. His face will become crystal clear and you will be ok. 

The saying that time heals all wounds is in fact very true when it comes to the workings of the mind so long as you go through the grieving process and the healing process.... you will always feel the loss but hopefully you will not always feel the pain. 

[lloydslights]

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@purple_haize wrote:

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@the_great_she_elephant wrote:

PH, I am not a cunsellor or psychologist, so please bear with me if I am way off beam here, but after reading your recent posts it has occurred to me that maybe there is a question you need to ask yourself that might throw some light  on why you cannot think of Tim or look at his photo at the moment.

.

When Tim was constantly on your mind, did thinking of him and looking at his photos give you peace and  comfort? Did it recall happy memories for you,  or did it only remind you painfully of what you had lost? 

As I said, this may be totally irrelevant, use it if it helps, ignore it if t doesn't and  please don't feel obliged to post an  answer or even acknowledge this post.   

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Hi She -ele, Cant honestly say looking at his pics made me truely happy, it is something I have never thought about. I have no memory of him from birth till he was about 16yrs, as I had a breakdown, from severe grief, & the spercialists said, not being able to remember Tim till he was older, was my mind protecting me.

I do have a photo of both kids together, my daughter was about 3yrs, Tim about 9, on my desk...........but I often look at the photo & I know my daughter, but the boy could be anyone.

Thinking while typing the above ^^^^^^, no, his photos of when I can remember him, dont make me happy, I think I have always thought *why did you have to die*........*It isnt fair*

I asked hubby, and he said I have always said, why did he have to die?

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So what I think your mind is saying in regard to the 'blockout of Tim's photos......"okay boy-o, time for ME.  I'll just switch you off for a while, till I fix ME. Then I'll be better able to cope with YOU and the decisions you made."

I think as you "repair" you will remember those lovely and happy memories that you do have somewhere deep inside you, of that young Tim.

It's like our brain has compartments.  Deal with one at a time. Then onto the next one, with a review of the first.  And so on.  Make sense?

Purple, you are fortunate to have a partner that listens.  It can be a load for him sometimes, I'm sure.  So share with us, but of course your medical team is the ultimate go-to.

DEB

[lloydslights]

Loved the Patty Duke Show.  That's the one where she had a "twin" cousin?  Good memory of times past.

Another thing in regard to Mental Health, is the need of a healthy body.  

Our dietary intake is important as is some exercise. All within our dietary limitations, eg. diabetes and physical capabilities. We need the blood pumping to the brain so it will work more easily.  

DEB

[silverfaun]

My Sister and Brother in law have recently lost their son and the agony she and her husband went through was excruciating to watch.

They received immense help from their church and the many friends they have in their community and of course my sister was totally looked after by myself and other sister, still is.

The thing about losing a child is you never get over it. After the funeral and months pass by I remember my darling nephew and it hurts me and brings tears to my eyes so I can only imagine the pain that never goes away for the parents.

As sisters we are very close and have relied on each other and supported each other all our lives since when were very young children and then young teenagers because our mother was emotionally incapable of rearing daughters, she was neurotic and difficult.

Sisters, if you are fortunate to have one or more, are the most wonderful thing in the world for support and the love they give is priceless, it's there for life.

Cherish your sisters, mine have been the mainstay throughout my  life.

[lloydslights]

Such a hard time; and good that the pain was shared.

I have 4 sisters and a brother (another sister died at 17-accident).  It is the brother who is the link for our family now since we became scattered over the states, and since our parents passed away.  We have never been really close to any single one.  But we each know that another is there when in need.  

My sister in law and brother's first child was stillborn.  The most gut wrenching time.  So much attention was paid to the SIL However, my brother also lost a child that day too.  He had to be "big and strong" for his wife.  He had to stand by and watch the sympathy poured into his wife.  He had to deal with the devastation of his inlaws  first (and male) grandchild not being alive.  Organised the funeral and place for the ashes to be scattered (religious reasons) It was as if he didn't have time to grieve.  

One must ease the pain that males experience, too.

They have since borne another 3 healthy children. 

DEB

[freddie*rooster]

In the past 3 yrs I have lost 2 Brothers, 1 to cancer, 6 months later another Brother to a massive heart attack, brother number 3 is now in the final stages of liver /pancreatic cancer. My partner's major surgery for hard palate cancer then my own breast cancer surgery, but, i'm still here and determined to win my battle and support my remaining family members through the tough times ahead.

[lloydslights]

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@freddie*rooster wrote:

In the past 3 yrs I have lost 2 Brothers, 1 to cancer, 6 months later another Brother to a massive heart attack, brother number 3 is now in the final stages of liver /pancreatic cancer. My partner's major surgery for hard palate cancer then my own breast cancer surgery, but, i'm still here and determined to win my battle and support my remaining family members through the tough times ahead.

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This sure has been a tough period for you, freddie.  And more to come, unfortunately.  

My father had tough times in his life (the Depression,Japanese POW, loss of a child).  He did have good and proud times, too. Having endured those harsh periods, he was so wise and helped us (his children and one particular staff member)a great deal when we experienced our own trying times.  

I hope that I become as wise through my life's experiences and observations.

DEB

[lloydslights]

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@purple_haize wrote:

Another day to get through. I cant remember if I have taken my meds, which is helpful.

Greg has just found one of those containers you put your tablets in, with day written on it, will have to put the tablets in them.

My daughter & her hubby are working today, so Greg took Oliver to school, Isla is here watching cartoons, she isnt a child that needs entertaining, she entertains herself, or goes with her pa, plays with the dogs or plays with the cat that tolerates her.

If the sun shines, I will go outside later and sit in it.

I am finding the days are going really slow, I look forward to the evening, when I can go to bed.

Those of you that have brothers and sisters are lucky, I was an only child, my mum had complications at the birth and couldnt have any more children.

However, I am very close to my sister in law & she only lives 10 minutes from our place.

My cat has just come in and is sitting on the desk near my computer & has done, since I found out the news, she has always slept on my bed at night and still does, but never comes and sits with me during the day........those who cats, do cats sense when things arent right with their owner?

Also, I noticed with her yesterday, if I went outside, she was always with me........like she is there to protect me, sounds strange I know, but that is what it feels like.

I need another coffee, seems I am living on coffee now. not eating much in the way of food.

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Good morning purple.  

The box of dated tablet sections is a good idea.  If you know what day it is!!!!  Dad used to have a nap in the afternoon, and think it was another day when he woke up!!!!  It's good that Greg is there to guide you both in the medication.

Oh those **bleep** cats.  They just have a sense of something going on, don't they.  My mum's tom smelt the lipstick she'd put on before going out - and then he'd go and hide so that he wouldn't be put outside when we left the house.

She either is concerned for you or she is not feeling well herself.  The companionship is necessary for all in troubled times.  Is she getting on in age?  I'm sure the true Cat People will be in contact with guidance.

Does anyone remember the Commonsense Cookery book and its section on Convalescent food?  Purple, perhaps some arrowroot biscuits with the cuppa might get you on the way.. Or the barley water.  Or some soups.  Think about it. We have to get our body regular too.

DEB