Mum has 'no regrets' after shaming daughter

[daydream**believer]

http://www.essentialkids.com.au/older-kids/behaviour-and-discipline-for-older-kids/mum-has-no-regret...

"A North Carolina mother who punished her daughter for bullying is being accused of being a cyberbully herself after she shamed her daughter by sharing her photo online.

Cara Schneider had her daughter pose with a green sign that reads,

My name is Hailey. I am a kind caring, smart girl, but I make poor choices with social media.

As punishment, I am selling my iPod and will be donating the money to the charity Beat Bullying in hopes of changing my behavior as well as bringing awareness to Bullying. Because bullying is wrong."

Thoughts on this?

I personally agree with the guy that defended the mum by writing ‘‘Bullying thrives in secrecy. Bringing it into the light is the only way to stop it. And this mother isn't bullying her child; she’s teaching her daughter to take responsibility for her actions and also teaching her compassion by walking a mile in her victim’s choices.’’

I asked my 13 year old daughter what she thought of this and she also agrees with what the Mum did. She said "The girl was bullying people online, hiding behind the computer so her punishment should be shared online as well"

[silverfaun]

Literal.

[*pepe]

The mother is an attention seeking idiot.

She could have just quietly gone about selling the ipod, sat down with her and researched videos and stories of the results of cyber bullying and made her apologise - instead she chose to publically humiliate her daughter - set her up to be ridiculed and ostracised by not only her peers but total strangers worldwide.

Yay, great parenting.

Not.

[tasfleur]

Agree with you 100% Pepe.

[***super_nova***]

So, we cannot discipline kids by smack, regardless how badly they behave, and now we are not allowed to make them ashamed?  Of-course, i am not talking about beating children or systematically putting them down, which is what the paper is talking about.  When kids are doing something that is not acceptable they need to feel ashamed.  That is not bullying, that is teaching them a lesson.

Kids need to be taught empathy, but that seems to be something lacking more and more in our society.   People do not seem to be able to put themselves into others' position and imagine what it would be like; or maybe they just do not care.

[izabsmiling]

Thinking of any crime things like age,knowledge and intent can be relevant aren't they ?

Also with a parent is their duty of care and the legal responsibilities which come with that 'For THEM ..the adult/parent' in what they do

The Mum here did what she did with intent ,suposedly as she (again the adult/parent)  was aware of the dangers of one's online behavior can have on others.She said it was a public shaming ...

Her pretty little blonde haired daughter's face and shame has as a result been seen around the world...

the Mum's name and the fact that she is a personal trainer also mentioned .....that too looks bad imo 

It also makes her daughter easier to find...maybe more business for Mum ?

The Mother should feel ashamed.....instead she herself is making excuses for  her own behaviour and treatment of her child .

[silverfaun]

Discipline is the parents prerogative. Her child is a serial bully so she went overboard with the discipline.

 I was listening to a social history commentator the other day and he said lack of discipline of young people in the home and school has resulted in no respect.

He put the lack of discipline as the main cause of king/coward punches and over indulgence in everything inc alcohol.

He doesn't hold out much hope of this activity abating if dicipline is discouraged.

[izabsmiling]

the danger is when kids are taught that cruelty can be justified ...

they may learn that if they 'determine' it can be justified (ie;as the Mum does by having No Regrets) ...

they may just follow that lead ....

perhaps become the sorts of people  who tell others to swallow a bag a cement ...rather than be a responsible,accountable,mature,considerate  adults when they grow up

the scope of what the Mother has done to her daughter is huge

not the kind of thing which should be thought to earn a child's respect 

[***super_nova***]

---

@silverfaun wrote:

Discipline is the parents prerogative. Her child is a serial bully so she went overboard with the discipline.

---

Yes, it may be bit harsh but if it is one off, the kid now understands how it feels to be on the receiving side; hopefully she will then reflect on what it was she has done to the other kids; she will be upset for few days and hopefully with support of her caring family, she will get over it, and it will only make her stronger.

When I got pregnant I read every book on child rearing there was; then I toss them all out & went with my instinct.  But the one thing that struck me as very useful was this:  "little children need to learn to deal with little hurts & frustrations, that prepares them to deal with big hurts & frustrations later in life".  It was in relations to kids being told to amuse themselves while mum is on the phone, cooking, or vacuuming and has no time to pay attention to them.  Or kids being dragged around supermarket and made to sit quietly in a trolley or just walk with mum and not run around pulling stuff off the shelves.  Today, if kid is misbehaving parents bribe it, not discipline it.  Then they wake up one morning and realise they have totally out of control teenager.  Surprise surprise, who would have expected that!!!?

Not to mention that every celeb is a bleep, it seems accepted that to be s.e.x.y you have to be a nasty bleep.

[***super_nova***]

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@izabsmiling wrote:

the danger is when kids are taught that cruelty can be justified ...

they may learn that if they 'determine' it can be justified (ie;as the Mum does by having No Regrets) ...

they may just follow that lead ....

the scope of what the Mother has done to her daughter is huge

not the kind of thing which should be thought to earn a child's respect 

---

Life is cruel, and if you do stupid nasty things to people it will come back and bite you.  That is a good life lesson.  What else do you suggest?  Obviously the mum did everything else and this little bleep did not give a bleep. 
Anyway, all those people around the world will soon forget about her, by end of next week they will have something else to talk about. 

[poison_ivys_pen]

Agree with you 100% also Pepe.  All of it could've been done without the fanfare the mother has done.

I kind of think of the old adage two wrongs don't make a right no matter which way you look at it, far easier ways to displine the daughter over her online behaviour without all the attention seeking the mother has done.  One make her apologise to her victims online and sell off the items without as I said the fanfare to go with.