My Mums update thread

This thread is dedicated to my Mother and her recovery.

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On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.

Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.

She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage

I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.
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Re: My Mums update thread

"I'm sorry your dad sees it like that.

 But.....didn't he move on, with a lady friend?"

Yes stawka. Hes had a girlfriend for about 10 months now

 

"at the end of the day, you have to live your life with your hubby and your kids"

Dad doesnt think that. He thinks my family should come second to his and mums needs

 

"I also believe your dad is angry and frustrated with how his life and your mums has been ruined by this accident and is lashing out.
It really is not directed at you he is just angry at life and you happen to be in the way.
I am sure he would like to hear your voice"

Hes not angry and frustrated anymore. he goes on weekend trips away with his gf and out to dinner with her family. It was totally directed at me.

The Dad issue has been going on for quite a while now and it just blew up. For years he has been so self absorbed, only ringing me when he needs me to pay for his ebay auction wins. He never asks about the kids and if i start to talk about them, he cuts me off.

Then in the last year he started forgetting the kids birthdays and if you mentioned it to him he'd get all defensive and say "Well, they never come up here to visit so why should i get them anything?"

Ive told him numerous times why i dont come up. Ive told him it upsets me too much.

On our last phone call he tells me he is not buying any more presents for grand kids until they come and visit.

I say "The kids cant drive. Its not their choice of whether to visit or not so why punish them?.

Then he says "Well, you need to bring them. Your youngest doesnt even know his Nan"

I say "And if i brought him there, he still wouldnt know his Nan. We arnt coming because i cant handle it. I depresses me too much."

He then yells "Rubbish. You dont come because you are lazy and cant be bothered. You dont care about your Mum. She did so much for you and you dont care about her."

And to that i yelled "Im done. Im not listening to you anymore" and i hang up.

Since that he has said little comments to my sister about me not caring, being lazy, and that he doesnt need me anyway and that he wont talk to me again until i apologize. Hes boasted that he has now figured out to pay for his own ebay wins so he doesnt need me at all.

He's a horrible man. He's always been a horrible man. Mum kept him in line. Mum always apologised for him. Since the accident, my sister and I have turned a blind eye to things he has said and done out of pity for him. But im not doing that anymore

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Re: My Mums update thread

Oh Amy, I am just so sorry you are going through this after everything you have done, and are, as a wonderful daughter.

 

You know you love your dear mother so much and nothing will ever change that, and that is what you can hold tight to.

 

As for the children, all you can do is as appropriate, is just keep explaining to them what has happened (what, when, how and why).   Children are very resilient and they know/trust that you will always tell them the truth, therefore, they will always understand and accept the truth as they grow and mature.    They will also know that their grandfather went his own way, and that was never caused by you, or them ....  Heart

 

bear1.jpg

 

 

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Re: My Mums update thread

Amy ((()))

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Amy, you love your mum and your mum knows this. You can't choose your relatives but you can choose how much contact you have with them. Everyone has limitations and you need to put you and your own kids first, which is what you are doing. Sending you gentle hugs.

**************************

"There is nothing more; but I want nothing more." Christopher Hitchins
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Re: My Mums update thread

moonflyte
Community Member

Keep well and hugs to you and your family. Heart

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Re: My Mums update thread

💞💞 thinking about you and your Mum, Amy💞💞💞


@djilukjilly wrote:

Keep well and hugs to you and your family. Heart


 

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Re: My Mums update thread

Hey Amy, ive been missing long time....................but have always thought about you and your mum, is she still in the same state? How are you and your dad ???

Smiley Happy

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Re: My Mums update thread

Hi Trish, Yes mum is still in the same condition.

After 7 months of dad and i not speaking, i called him.

I wont ever forget what he said to me back in October and he wont ever say sorry for saying it, but we are on speaking terms now.

 

Theres a lot of big changes going on in my life and i figured that life is too short to fight with family

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Re: My Mums update thread

Heart Heart Heart

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Re: My Mums update thread

Hugsss to you. xxxxxx

 

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