My Mums update thread

[daydream**believer]

This thread is dedicated to my Mother and her recovery.




On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.

Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.

She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage

I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.

[daydream**believer]

"I knows tough for you Amy, but you and your sister have got your own families now. Your dad's family is your mum. Just the two of them in their day to day lives. As soon as he lets her go he's effectively on his own. The end of his married life. There is a risk he will become a lonely old man. So yeah, he's possibly not thinking of you guys because you have your own families and he's a bit wrapped up in the remainder of his."

I do get what you are saying but he doesnt have to be alone. He still has 2 daughters, 5 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild. The problem is, apart from my sister and I, he has pushed the others away. In our phonecalls he never ever asks about my kids and if i try to talk about them, he changes the subject. I even said he should listen to news about them so he can talk Mum about it but he says he wont remember.

My sister and I have both tried to involve him in our lives, but he wont. My sister invites him to family dinners and he doesnt go

[my2cuddlycats_not]

(((((((((((((amy)))))))))))))

[witches*wol]

(((AMY))) You're always in my thoughts and prayers.  :-x

[daydream**believer]

HUbby, the kids and I had a weekend at Mt Gambier. We went there for the EK Nationals and also had an amazing time visiting the caves, sinkholes and lakes around the area.

It is a beautiful city.

Anyway, i rang my sister yesterday morning to let her know we were home and tell her about our trip.

Last night i rang my Dad to do the same. As soon as i start talking about our trip he tells me he already knows all about it as my sister told him. I continue to tell him anyway and he cuts me off to let me know he won something on ebay (i have to pay for his ebay wins as he doesnt know how to), and that he has to go have a shower.

I thought he might ring me back after the shower but he didnt.

Im feeling very angry and very upset

[daydream**believer]

So i rang my sister last night and had a little go at her for telling dad all my news and she said she barely got to tell him anything as he cut her off as well.

Im really angry and upset.

Yes, he has lost a wife but he hasnt lost his family. But he is extremely self absorbed (and always has been) and im sick of him only wanting me when he needs to to pay for something he has won on ebay. Im not ringing him again.

I bet the next time i hear from him, the first thing he will say is "Ive won something on ebay"

[jack*in*a*box]

Hugs to you Amy. I know what it's like to be that angry.

[mugssy65]

My Mum is self absorbed too Amy in fact her newest saying during a conversation about ANYTHING is "Yes well... now back to me!"

 I thought she was joking at first but now I fear she is not!

[daydream**believer]

Its just so frustrating.

I tell him stuff about me and the kids so he can tell Mum but all he says is "Oh i wont remember any of this".

[the_hawk*]

Its just so frustrating.

I tell him stuff about me and the kids so he can tell Mum but all he says is "Oh i wont remember any of this".

(((Amy))) is it posible to put what you want to say to your mum onto a cd or a tape and post it to him to play to her, that way you can add things each day like a diary and send one each week or so.

if thats not posible what about writting it down and emailing it so he can print it and then take it in to read it to her.

I know its only part of what your talking about but it may help you a little.

[daydream**believer]

You know what though Hawk, in the early days, having Mum hear about me and the kids was important. Now, well i dont think she understands whats being said to her. Well, thats what i believe and thats what my sister believes and, well, i guess, believing that makes it easier for us to cope. We dont want her to be aware of whats going on.

For me now, i miss a parent who listens and cares about whats going on in my life and who cares about what his grandkids are up to and who remembers their birthdays and things like that.

Im probably expecting too much cause before Mums accident, in the 15 years since i left home, i think i only spoke to him a handful of times on the phone. He has never shown an interest in my life.

Now he uses Mum as an excuse to be like that. He says he's under too much pressure, he's got too many things on his mind. Yet, he always talks for ages to me about the bowls game he played on the weekend, or the footy he watched on tv and can always remember to ring me to pay for his ebay purchases.

Sorry, im going on. I just really need to vent.