My Sister's Keeper

[the_bob_delusion]

Do you think it's morally or ethically right for the parents to conceive a child soley for the purpose of using him/her as a donor for another child?

Is it also morally or ethically right to select a specific characteristics of genetics that you want for a child you want to conceive(instead of say head colour or IQ, you selected out one with a specific genetics.)?

Do parents have the right to force a child to help another person given there will be some suffering invovled?

What would you do if it was you?

[daydream**believer]

I don't think it possible for anyone to have a true opinion unless they are in the position of having to go through with the option of needing a doner for a child they already have.

It's easy to take the moral high ground when you don't have to choose between life and death of a child you love.

I think the only right or wrong in it is for the people having to make the decision should feel.

agree

[azureline**]

Having read your post azure, it makes me feel sick... and under those circumstances I really have to feel it is immoral in every sense of the word... 

That brings out the side of me that feels that if a child has a threatening illness then maybe one has to learn to accept they could die and allow that to be the end of the efforts.

To bring another child into the world to use for 'spare parts' is criminal... So there you go, you have illicited an opinion from me 🙂

the thing to remember is...it is a fictitious work, the book.

[*crikey*mate*]

Having read your post azure, it makes me feel sick... and under those circumstances I really have to feel it is immoral in every sense of the word... 

That brings out the side of me that feels that if a child has a threatening illness then maybe one has to learn to accept they could die and allow that to be the end of the efforts.

To bring another child into the world to use for 'spare parts' is criminal... So there you go, you have illicited an opinion from me 🙂

Hi Darki 🙂

I have never been in a position where I have had to consider bringing a child into the world for "spare parts", and since the inception of this thread I have tried to imagine what I would do should I be placed into such a position, and I really can't make a difinitive decision - from one angle, it just seems so wrong to me, but then from another angle, I think I could justify it.

That brings out the side of me that feels that if a child has a threatening illness then maybe one has to learn to accept they could die and allow that to be the end of the efforts.

I have been in this situation, twice.

The first time was with a newborn who was never expected to live. The "experts" said that there was nothing that could be done, so we just accepted that and let nature take it's course. Indy died at 4 days old, and we just watched him die, nobody fought for him, nobody tried anything, not even his parents, the very ones whose job it was to do so.

Maybe there was nothing that could have saved him, but we will never know eh? Because no one even tried. That's been a pretty hard thing to live with.

4 years ago, my daughter got a sinus infection that spread to her brain. Again, we were told that there was nothing that could be done, that she would be dead within an hour. Well this time we did fight. This time we found people, doctors and a whole community who would help us fight for our child, and it took 7 weeks of atrocities and a further 6 months once discharged from hospital for the all clear, that nobody should have to endure, but that little girl did survive, and today she is a happy and healthy, bubbly and energetic, highly intelligent, loving nearly 13 year old. And except for days where she has to clean her bedroom, she's pretty glad that she did survive, even her brothers (now nearly 15 and 17) have given voluntary moving testaments at church, of how precious that little girl is to them and how thankful they are that she did survive.

No, I've never been in a situation where I have had to "conceive for spare parts", but I know what it feels like to give up without trying, and I know the results of what happens when you do, for both life and quality of life.

[dalyssmum]

Dalysmum, I would do the same as you if one of our children was a match for each other. However, knowing 2 people who have donated I doubt that the process is pain free. All the stuff beforehand is what hurts.

your daughter at 7 most righteously felt proud of what she had done

Were the 2 people you know who have donated adults or children chinchuckchick ?  Surprisingly it makes a difference.  The bone marrow transplant specialist told us that whilst the procedure can involve pain for adults, it is much less so for children.  One of the many amazing differences between adults and children.  Just a single dose of panadol once after the procedure and that was it.

[jean2579]

Crikey - :-x

[sher89]

The movie my sisters keeper was based on a book by the same name, the ending of the book was worse than the movie.

I have a daughter with kidney problems and if it comes to it any of our family will willingly give her one of ours!

I would also donate to one of my kids, but if it were you who had the problem would you take from one of your children? I know of someone in that position, she will not take from her adult children.

[lis351]

I would also donate to one of my kids, but if it were you who had the problem would you take from one of your children? I know of someone in that position, she will not take from her adult children.

Mugss has a lot to live for, I would certainly hope she would. Im not sure I would forgive someone sentencing themself to death while I walked around with the ability to help them.

[twinkles**stars]

Mugss has a lot to live for, I would certainly hope she would. Im not sure I would forgive someone sentencing themself to death while I walked around with the ability to help them.

Lis:)

Having only one kidney myself I would never be able to donate one to my loved ones.....but given the opportunity to do so I would;-)

[darksideofthemoon]

Hi Darki 🙂

I have never been in a position where I have had to consider bringing a child into the world for "spare parts", and since the inception of this thread I have tried to imagine what I would do should I be placed into such a position, and I really can't make a difinitive decision - from one angle, it just seems so wrong to me, but then from another angle, I think I could justify it.

That brings out the side of me that feels that if a child has a threatening illness then maybe one has to learn to accept they could die and allow that to be the end of the efforts.

I have been in this situation, twice.

The first time was with a newborn who was never expected to live. The "experts" said that there was nothing that could be done, so we just accepted that and let nature take it's course. Indy died at 4 days old, and we just watched him die, nobody fought for him, nobody tried anything, not even his parents, the very ones whose job it was to do so.

Maybe there was nothing that could have saved him, but we will never know eh? Because no one even tried. That's been a pretty hard thing to live with.

4 years ago, my daughter got a sinus infection that spread to her brain. Again, we were told that there was nothing that could be done, that she would be dead within an hour. Well this time we did fight. This time we found people, doctors and a whole community who would help us fight for our child, and it took 7 weeks of atrocities and a further 6 months once discharged from hospital for the all clear, that nobody should have to endure, but that little girl did survive, and today she is a happy and healthy, bubbly and energetic, highly intelligent, loving nearly 13 year old. And except for days where she has to clean her bedroom, she's pretty glad that she did survive, even her brothers (now nearly 15 and 17) have given voluntary moving testaments at church, of how precious that little girl is to them and how thankful they are that she did survive.

No, I've never been in a situation where I have had to "conceive for spare parts", but I know what it feels like to give up without trying, and I know the results of what happens when you do, for both life and quality of life.

That's a fantastic post crickey... and yes, I can imagine how you feel about the one you lost and about the one you saved... 

To be clear I wasn't taking a 'moral highground', I was seriously trying to come up with some sort of opinion to see if I had one rather than just being negative about it all....

Yes I understand the book was fiction - I suppose, but of course we can't be sure can we...

Back to I don't know, all I can say crickey is you have courage for both actions and I admire you for that.

Keeping vigil with the little one is not 'doing nothing' and when we are younger and not experienced, we do tend to believe what we are told and maybe they were right anyway... 

Then you were given a second chance and so she lives and grows and glows 🙂

You have come close to this topic than I ever will so I will rest with your feelings... that'll do me 🙂

[vintage-star]

I don't think it possible for anyone to have a true opinion unless they are in the position of having to go through with the option of needing a doner for a child they already have.

It's easy to take the moral high ground when you don't have to choose between life and death of a child you love.

I think the only right or wrong in it is for the people having to make the decision should feel.

Agree.