My brother and Self Defense

[herbto3]

My mum and I dont know what to do anymore. We are in the NT. Several weeks ago my brother defended himself against the full on intoxicated estranged spouse as she wanted him to go and buy drugs. He said no and she attacked him twice. He defended himself but since then he has found himself on dvo charges brought on by the cops. 

I feel for my brother as he is a good person and dad but no one is listening to him. The cops wont take away the charges as they see it as domestic volence. They dont see it as self defense. The x sister in law wants the charges dropped but the cops wont drop them. My mum is as she puts it hitting her head against a brick wall trying to get someone to listen to her about this as my brother is an abused husband the victim. Mum says it is not the normal run of the mill case as he is a bloke not a lady. Only ladies get abused not husbands. My brother has stood by his family as his x is a druggy and cant look after the 5 kids properly. He has been their protector.

What I want to do is help my brother and his kids but I dont know how to do it..I dont know who to get mum or brother to talk to. I dont want my brother to kill himself as this is what my mum has been thinking he might do. My brother and mum need help.

Is there anyone out there who could tell me what to say to my brother to help him please? And my mum? Can someone please please help me.... 

[polksaladallie]

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@*pepe wrote:

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@polksaladallie wrote:

If the original story is real (and I doubt it), the man has been accused of assault.  The police in this country are in the main very sexist, and will believe a man ten years before believing a woman.  So if he has been accused, it will be for more than simply defending himself.

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which country do you live in, because here in Australia its quite the opposite.

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I suggest you read several books about the history of domestic violence in Australia, and what the the official responses to it have been like.

[polksaladallie]

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@bright.ton42 wrote:

Just wondering why the original story is doubted.  It sounds very believable to me.  And I hope there is help out there for him. 

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Read between the lines, and it will be clearer.

[cherry*135]

History is not present day!!

[the_great_she_elephant]

You might find some useful information here http://www.oneinthree.com.au/servicesandresources/

It's not really much use asking for help here: we don't know you, we don't know your brother, we don't know his wife, and the only information we have about what really happened is what we have been told, second hand, by you. With the best will in the world, it is simply impossible for anyone here to form a reliable opinion or offer relevant advice 

[bluecat*dancing]

Lifeline would be able to help. Their number is 13 11 14.

[polksaladallie]

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@am*3 wrote:
History is not present day!!

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History is until yesterday.  The same mentality is still in play, the same people are still in the same jobs.

[j*oono]

OP went offline almost immediately.  Brand new ID and TGIF.

If any advice is really needed then it is all there in post number 2.

[love*today]

NT is imo above other states when it comes to DV.
DV against males is very large and is not overlooked at all.

I don't really have an opinion except to say that if he has been charged and the police believe the woman then they must have the grounds to.
There is never a good enough excuse to hit someone else, in hindsight he should've walked away and called the cops on her.
If things are so bad with her, he should leave.....well should've left earlier and made a better home for himself and the kids.

[love*today]

Years ago I knew a male that had to rush home at every break to make sure his kids were ok and fed. His misses would fly into a rage without dope and never feed or look after the kiddies and bash him.
Over all the years she was the only person (feral) I knew off that would go nuts if she had no smoke. She seriously had other issues though I bet!

[*crikey*mate*]

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@*pepe wrote:

my best advice is don't come here for advice

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unless it is about cooking - that goes off like a frog in a sock