My brother and Self Defense

[herbto3]

My mum and I dont know what to do anymore. We are in the NT. Several weeks ago my brother defended himself against the full on intoxicated estranged spouse as she wanted him to go and buy drugs. He said no and she attacked him twice. He defended himself but since then he has found himself on dvo charges brought on by the cops. 

I feel for my brother as he is a good person and dad but no one is listening to him. The cops wont take away the charges as they see it as domestic volence. They dont see it as self defense. The x sister in law wants the charges dropped but the cops wont drop them. My mum is as she puts it hitting her head against a brick wall trying to get someone to listen to her about this as my brother is an abused husband the victim. Mum says it is not the normal run of the mill case as he is a bloke not a lady. Only ladies get abused not husbands. My brother has stood by his family as his x is a druggy and cant look after the 5 kids properly. He has been their protector.

What I want to do is help my brother and his kids but I dont know how to do it..I dont know who to get mum or brother to talk to. I dont want my brother to kill himself as this is what my mum has been thinking he might do. My brother and mum need help.

Is there anyone out there who could tell me what to say to my brother to help him please? And my mum? Can someone please please help me.... 

[cherry*135]

" If the original story is real (and I doubt it), the man has been accused of assault. The police in this country are in the main very sexist, and will believe a man ten years before believing a woman. So if he has been accused, it will be for more than simply defending himself."

" I heard of a case the week before last. Is that yesterday enough for you"

My original reply to you was about your statement re the sexist police. The current police force in Australia today.
One case ...yep, that is enough to judge the whole Australian police force on.

You have also judged the opening poster by doubting his story is true. Should all people be believed first off if they give an account of abuse?

[polksaladallie]

Your male friend did the right thing and walked away, unlike the man in the OP, who ended up in trouble for fighting back. 

I agree with you that there are two sides to every story, but violence is not the answer to violence.  That is what we see on TV every weekend when the clubs and pubs spill out. 

[polksaladallie]

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@am*3 wrote:
"I heard of a case the week before last. Is that yesterday enough for you"

One case ...yep, that is enough to judge the whole Australian police force on.

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Nup, haven't done that.  But I have read a lot and talked to DV centre people.

[cherry*135]

Polkas wrote: "The police in this country are in the main very sexist, and will believe a man ten years before believing a woman."

[cherry*135]

Opinions aren't facts.

Were you there when the incident occurred?

Polkas wrote:
Your male friend did the right thing and walked away, unlike the man in the OP, who ended up in trouble for fighting back.

Also
"If the original story is real (and I doubt it)

[purple_haize]

Polkas wrote: "The police in this country are in the main very sexist, and will believe a man ten years before believing a woman."

Having been the victim of DV, I can tell you that the police were wonderful to me and not sexist at all.

You have to be in the situation yourself to find out what the police are like, or any situation where the police are needed. Assuming that they are all sexist is wrong.

[polksaladallie]

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@purple_haize wrote:

Polkas wrote: "The police in this country are in the main very sexist, and will believe a man ten years before believing a woman."

Having been the victim of DV, I can tell you that the police were wonderful to me and not sexist at all.

You have to be in the situation yourself to find out what the police are like, or any situation where the police are needed. Assuming that they are all sexist is wrong.

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I did not say that they are all sexist.

You well know that I have been in the situation.

[polksaladallie]

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@am*3 wrote:
Opinions aren't facts.

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Enlightenment at last!

[*pepe]

i think its more a case of the police being fed up than sexist.

time and time again they go to the aid of women only to have most turn around and refuse to co operate when they try to charge the male.

[bluecat*dancing]

I meant to hit "reply" and not "kudo! Ever heard of "Battered Woman Syndrome" ? I have met and talked with many women who have been victims of DV, the psychology involved as to why they do not leave or press charges, or leave , then go back or press charges then retract, is complex.