School and expectations - communication.

[aspie*mum]

I have had ongoing issues with a lack of communication from L's school.  (term 4 of last year, and term 1 of this year.  Previously she was at a brilliant regional school).  I am having (another) PSG in a couple of weeks and below are the topics I would like to cover.  I am wondering if any seem unreasonable.  

L has Aspergers syndrome (high functioning Autism) and significant anxiety issues.  These are some notes I have made (and will edit) but would appreciate any suggestions.  If I cannot improve communication with the school, I will move her at the end of the year, and am considering a Montessori school as I think it may be better for her individual needs.

Any opinions on Mentessori schools would be appreciated.  It's not something I ever would have considered before, but I'm thinking it might be the way to go if I can't improve communication with her school.

As a parent I have a fundamental right to be involved in my child’s education.

I would like to support L’s teacher in educating L.  To do this, I need to know what L is doing in class, what she is challenged by and what I can be doing at home to support her learning.

These are my expectations they are not negotiable:

-       I would like to be notified via the communication book of any change in:

• Attitude


• Behaviour


• Work patterns


• Friendships

-       I expect communication from the teacher via the communication book about positive educational achievements so that they can be reinforced at home.  If this cannot be done on a daily basis it can be done on a weekly basis.

-       Information on where L sits in terms of the expected standard, and where she is expected to be at the end of term 2, term 3 and term 4.

-       The communication book to be used to let me know of any changes in routine (if known in advance) so I can let L know, for example if there is going to be a CRT in the room.

- 

-       That HCs, (Psychologist), recommendations on a specific reward incentive are introduced as well as “chill out time”.

These are things that I would like:

-       Sending home examples of her work so that she can share with her family and receive positive reinforcement.  Positive reinforcement from her family is more significant and meaningful to Lucinda than from her peers or teacher.

-       Communication from the teacher on what L is being challenged by at school, so she can be supported on working on that at home.

-       Assistance from the teacher for L to find someone to play with before she goes outside at break time.

-       If the curriculum topics can be flexible when required to help motivate L.

-       Knowing what new topics are going to be covered so I can let L know.  L feels more confident when she has some knowledge on a topic.  When she feels confident she is more likely to have a go.

-       Suggestions from L's teacher on what her family can be doing at home to assist her.

There has to be an acknowledgement that she has a definable problem and that this will involve an individual approach and regiment for a period of time, during which regular communication from school to home is required.

I would like to support Lucinda and her teacher, but I feel unable to do this with the lack of communication from that has been available to me.

[azureline**]

Not having children in school myself, my only comment is....seriously investigate the Montessori school before you consider doing it, as I understand it, they do not have a support service for special needs children.

[kengillard]

I'm not aware of that AZ?   but then again my daughter went to a Montessori pre school almost 30 years ago.   Things have changed since then, so I agree with your comment.  Check it out. How about a Rudolf Steiner School?

[azureline**]

I may be in error there, I believe it is the Steiner one that has no special needs support.(from info provided by a parent whose child was enrolled there)

[catsnknots]

I find parts of the letter to be a bit aggressive... 

I have found a more calm and positive approach works best as it is very easy to get a teacher offside. 

Teachers have a very full role. Some of that stuff looks like what a teacher aid would do so I would look into getting that assistance from one of them. 

I also found that the best way to get communication going was to actually go into the classroom at the end of the day and speak with the teacher. I did this at least three times a week. 

Previous to pulling my son out of school this week I had asked teachers to communicate with me, his teacher aid also did... my son is 15 so I am in a totally different situation but I get where youre coming from and it is very frustrating. 

Remember that your child is not the only one in the classroom and lots of those kids will also need attention.. make the communications book as easy as possible to fill out.. point forms and boxes to tick...  teachers unfortunately do not have the time left at the end of the day. 

[bella_again]

A couple of questions I have are Does L have any educational funding attached to her? Does she have an aide at all?

One of the biggest issues we need to consider as parents of special needs children is the amount of time a teacher has to give all students in his/her class.  I'm all for inclusion but with inclusion of special needs there has to be support, its too much to expect from the school without extra funding.  Now I have been through this many times, as a parent it is frustrating but you have to be prepared to compromise as well.  The teacher should be giving you some form of communication esp where there have been meltdowns or behavioral changes and I think that is fair to expect that but the teacher may not be able to do all you are asking.

If L has funding and support within the school then I'd say most of the above should be achievable esp if she has aiding time.

It's tough as a parent of children who need extra assistance weighing up the needs verses the resources. That of course is not an excuse not to ensure children with special needs have the same access to the curriculum but I think you may have to be calmer and flexible with your approach.  What you have written sounds a little demanding so maybe put it this way; Can we ensure that a communication book is filled out with significant changes? and offer to do the same thing at home etc  Ask what you can do as a parent to best support the school and go along those lines...

Hope that helps.

[katydidthat]

Aspie ... is your DD in primary school?  How old is she?  

I'm sorry, but I do think you are asking too much of a teacher.  

I'd suggest a meeting where you raise your concerns verbally and then BOTH of you discuss the possible solutions - which could perhaps be solved by a weekly or fortnightly chat.  

If you talk to L you may be able to find out what she perceives as her challenges (which may not be the same as the teacher's). 

You can buy or borrow the text books she uses (if she doesn't bring them home) and keep up to date with what chapters/sections they are studying.  

There is a load of information (or should be) on the internet about the curriculum and what kids are supposed to know.  

You could also look at a tutor once a week or so ... individual attention could be a lot better than that with a teacher with a class full of kids.  

On the finding someone to play with ... it breaks my heart to say it ... but I don't think that that's going to work.  

You could try sending a book or a hobby in with your daughter (say Rubik's cubes) ... so she could look like she was happy by herself and she might attract other kids who share her interests. 

Assessment can be made flexible for kids ... 

[katydidthat]

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If you have the time, the teacher might LOVE it if you helped out in L's class once a week or so.  

[*crikey*mate*]

To always know where your child sits academically, you ask for a copy of the school curriculum and you follow it at home.

To achieve comfort in a subject area before it is introduced at school, the same applies - be studying at home ahead of the curriculum, get a copy of the text books at home and work through them, get an outside tutor if you don't know what to do yourself. Achieve mastery at home before the topic is even broached at school. There are some good programs out there to assist with this. PM me if you want some suggestions.

As Bella said - anything on the ASD spectrum should come with some sort of funding. Find out what your school is doing with your funding if you are not receiving it in teacher aide time. (As far as I kno0w, there is nothing saying that money needs to be spent on a teacher's aide - it could be used for specialist equipment for example that your child (and many others may benefit from.

Also - remember your parent teacher interview is only 10 minutes - do you really think that you can cover ALL that in 10 minutes and get a reasonable response?

To keep track of your child and how they are doing, you meet the child at the classroom door EVERY afternoon after school and find out, then if need be, get clarification from the teacher. Don't just wait for the quarterly PT meetings - at these there should be no surprises for anyone. If need be - volunteer at the school - be involved in the school so the teachers and other families get to know you - then they are more likely to take an active interest in your child - it might just be a comment from the tuckshop lady or librarian as you pass - but they all help.

Exactly how much time do you think your child's teacher has each day, or even each week to fill in any kind of detailed report? There are 25 other kids in the class as well, each of them entitled to the same opportunities as your child.

Communication is the key - but it has to work both ways and you have to understand the limitations of your classroom teacher.

For best results be proactive and be involved at every step. Get extra curricular tuition, even if you don't think they "need" it - this way you KNOW what your child is capable of  - and one last thing...

Knowing where your child sits in relation to other kids has very little significance AT ALL - it is ensuring YOUR child is able to meet THEIR potential. Comparing them with other children either sets limitations or unreal expectations.

In Primary school - you need to worry about Math, English and social skills - the rest is superfluous, and will be learned intuitively if the Math and English are in place - those three basics can be taken care of externally through your shrink and tutors. Trust me - no one cares in grade 10 if your kid failed art in grade 2.

YOU need to create a relationship with your teacher's AIDE - it is they who will know your child better than anyone else.

Finally, my experience with Steiner and Montessori - not structured enough for a HFA and probably not structured enough for an Aspergean (there is a difference - the two are not interchangeable) either. Plus if your child has low motor control - be cautious of the Steiner curriculum as it is motor control focused.

[the_bob_delusion]

remembered the last time you asked for advice here.:|