School and expectations - communication.

[aspie*mum]

I have had ongoing issues with a lack of communication from L's school.  (term 4 of last year, and term 1 of this year.  Previously she was at a brilliant regional school).  I am having (another) PSG in a couple of weeks and below are the topics I would like to cover.  I am wondering if any seem unreasonable.  

L has Aspergers syndrome (high functioning Autism) and significant anxiety issues.  These are some notes I have made (and will edit) but would appreciate any suggestions.  If I cannot improve communication with the school, I will move her at the end of the year, and am considering a Montessori school as I think it may be better for her individual needs.

Any opinions on Mentessori schools would be appreciated.  It's not something I ever would have considered before, but I'm thinking it might be the way to go if I can't improve communication with her school.

As a parent I have a fundamental right to be involved in my child’s education.

I would like to support L’s teacher in educating L.  To do this, I need to know what L is doing in class, what she is challenged by and what I can be doing at home to support her learning.

These are my expectations they are not negotiable:

-       I would like to be notified via the communication book of any change in:

• Attitude


• Behaviour


• Work patterns


• Friendships

-       I expect communication from the teacher via the communication book about positive educational achievements so that they can be reinforced at home.  If this cannot be done on a daily basis it can be done on a weekly basis.

-       Information on where L sits in terms of the expected standard, and where she is expected to be at the end of term 2, term 3 and term 4.

-       The communication book to be used to let me know of any changes in routine (if known in advance) so I can let L know, for example if there is going to be a CRT in the room.

- 

-       That HCs, (Psychologist), recommendations on a specific reward incentive are introduced as well as “chill out time”.

These are things that I would like:

-       Sending home examples of her work so that she can share with her family and receive positive reinforcement.  Positive reinforcement from her family is more significant and meaningful to Lucinda than from her peers or teacher.

-       Communication from the teacher on what L is being challenged by at school, so she can be supported on working on that at home.

-       Assistance from the teacher for L to find someone to play with before she goes outside at break time.

-       If the curriculum topics can be flexible when required to help motivate L.

-       Knowing what new topics are going to be covered so I can let L know.  L feels more confident when she has some knowledge on a topic.  When she feels confident she is more likely to have a go.

-       Suggestions from L's teacher on what her family can be doing at home to assist her.

There has to be an acknowledgement that she has a definable problem and that this will involve an individual approach and regiment for a period of time, during which regular communication from school to home is required.

I would like to support Lucinda and her teacher, but I feel unable to do this with the lack of communication from that has been available to me.

[happyroo_bunji]

it has a rather aggressive tone.  If I was given what you've written, I would be a bit miffed.

Why should the teacher have to be responsible for finding a playmate for your daughter?

When do you think the teacher will have time to teach after implementing rewards/chill out time etc?

[aspie*mum]

1.  My daughter goes to a private school - I pay for her to have smaller classes and extra attention.  The school was aware of her issues and assured us they were able to cater for her before we enrolled her.  

2.  I AM a teacher.  A primary school teacher AT A SPECIAL school, after several years of main stream teaching and as a teacher, I do all these things.  I do not feel they are excessive. Especially at a private school.

3.  My daughter does have aided time every day.  The psychologist suggested this time be used for 1-on-1 writing time with L.  Unfortunately the teacher has decided to use this time for the aid to take a small literacy group whilst she stays with the teacher focussed group.  Whilst my daughter has the aided time (only 1 hour a day) the teacher gets to say where and what the aid does.  So in this case, it's not of great value to L.

4.  L is almost 7, and in grade 1.  

5.  I am a working single parent, so I simply cannot talk to her teacher before/after school - which is why the communication book was implemented.  My dad who is retired does the pickup/drop-off.  

6.  The school wants to have only 1 meeting (1 hour) per term where they inform me of her Individual Learning Plan.  That's it.  For best practise, for a child with Autism, there should be a meeting once a month.  

7.  I am a teacher, so I can test my child and plot her against the progression points to see where she is at.  HOWEVER, my testing comes up as much higher than her class testing - why?  Because she is at home, relaxed and her anxiety is low, which gives a false result.  I need to know where she is testing AT school and where school expects her to be at going forward.

8.  Social engineering is VERY important for children with ASD.  L is disorganised (part of her condition).  By the time she is packed up, all the other kids are outside and playing and she simply doesn't have the social skills to think to go find a kid and ask them to play (although she is getting better).  The psychologist (private, top ASD psych) has told them over and over - she needs social engineering - you have to make sure she goes OUT with someone and then she will play with them.  She's ok once in the play, just has trouble initiating it.  She seems to be reasonably popular, gets invited to lots of parties, play dates etc.  Just has issues with asking kids to play whilst she is at school.  It's not hard for a teacher to do this.  It takes all of 20 seconds when the kids are eating.

9.  There is no point getting a tutor for her, because the school wont communicate the curriculum!  Whilst in general, schools have the same outcomes, they have very different ways of getting there.  Plus, she's too tired.  If her teacher can tell me what she needs help in, I can do it myself - but they don't seem to want to.  It's so weird.

10.  I can't do parent helper, as I am at work.  I'm a single parent with massive bills in regards to all L's specialists.  Whilst I'd LOVE to take a day off a week to be with her and help her, it's simply not financially viable.

11.  Chill out time - L has ASD.  She needs to have 10 minutes break between each task.  That's a fact.  She gets sensory overload.  I don't pay hundreds of dollars every month for suggestions from a psychologist, as well as school visits to have the school ignore them.  

12.  L has the same rights to learn as other children.  And she learns in a different way.  You wouldn't tell a child with cerebral palsy they couldn't use a walking frame because it was unfair to the other kids.  You wouldn't take a hearing impaired kids hearing aids away because no one else had them.  It's the same with L.  She has special needs.  She needs special concessions.  She has the same rights to learn as any other child.

13.  I cannot support the teacher and L if I am unaware of what is happening at school.  

[aspie*mum]

My biggest problem with the school is that they want each child to learn at their own pace - which is all well and good, except that L has a very high IQ.  She has the ability to do extremely well IF given the chance.  I don't feel the school is allowing her to reach her academic potential by insisting she sticks to a curriculum that has no interest to her.

It doesn't help that when she was at a regional school, they went above and beyond any expectations I had and she had a wonderful start there.  This has also raised my expectations because I have seen best practice - and what is being offered now is far from that.

[*crikey*mate*]

I should also add that education is a 12 year process (well actually a lot longer than that) but each child will develop at their own speed irrespective of what the curriculum says they "should" be doing - a curriculum is nothing more than a policy document designed as a one size fits all guideline. It's up to YOU, the parent to tailor that to your child's needs.

You say HFA - my next question is have you had an IQ test done? This MAY give you an idea of potential - (there is also a difference between gifted and talented - a child may be gifted, but that doesn't mean they are displaying those traits

I raise this because a gifted child learns very differently to one within normal stanines - and it is far more involved than just setting them more work - they will need an entirely different curriculum. Things may have changed in recent years - but many schools do not have the understanding or ability to cater for a gifted child.

Remember that if your child IS gifted - they are gifted 24/7 (just like they have HFA or Asperger's 24/7) not just for that hour a week where they may get to go to a totally irrelevant extention class.

Although outdated - an SOI (Structure of the Intellect) test is extremely beneficial for any child as it assesses 26 areas of the intelligence - (not just two like the WIISK or S&B) and a heap of other things too - Just remember the actual number you get is outdated as the leagues tables have not been normed for many many years - so you still need the standard IQ tests, which undoubtedly you already have to get a diagnosis - but it was this test which was the most beneficial for the child, the parent AND the teacher as it demonstrated HOW the child learns and their areas of strength and weakness.

[catsnknots]

You asked for advice.. we gave it.. you don't like it. 

I too am a single parent.. I struggled through without anything.. even a diagnosis.  

I had to make sure I was there for my child after school as my child came first... before anything... 

I would leave my job in a heartbeat if it meant a better outcome for my child

[azureline**]

I think the psychologist should be teaching L how to play/instigate play. My 6yo GD with Aspergers psychologist teaches her strategies which are reinforced by her parents... or myself, whoever drops her at school. She also has a "buddy" in a higher class. Small private school, no other special needs children in the school, no teacher aide.

[*crikey*mate*]

1.  My daughter goes to a private school - I pay for her to have smaller classes and extra attention.  The school was aware of her issues and assured us they were able to cater for her before we enrolled her.  

hmmmmm - school is school - they were THAT sure? even before getting to know YOUR child?

2.  I AM a teacher.  A primary school teacher AT A SPECIAL school, after several years of main stream teaching and as a teacher, I do all these things.  I do not feel they are excessive. Especially at a private school.

A teacher at a private school has the same limitations as one at a public school.

3.  My daughter does have aided time every day.  The psychologist suggested this time be used for 1-on-1 writing time with L.  Unfortunately the teacher has decided to use this time for the aid to take a small literacy group whilst she stays with the teacher focussed group.  Whilst my daughter has the aided time (only 1 hour a day) the teacher gets to say where and what the aid does.  So in this case, it's not of great value to L.

one on one writing time can be done externally, either with an ocupational therapist, ot with you. The small group time is not a bad thing - it gives the teacher more time with YOUR child as she has less children to focus on and also reduces the class size making it easier for your child to meet and get to know her classmates and make friends... (But that's not saying the teacher is using the aide well - I'm just saying there are good things about small group work)

4.  L is almost 7, and in grade 1.  

5.  I am a working single parent, so I simply cannot talk to her teacher before/after school - which is why the communication book was implemented.  My dad who is retired does the pickup/drop-off.  

If you say you can't, you are absolutely correct - but if you ask "how can I achieve this?" it will open up many more possibilities. Clearly the communication book isn't working, so find something else that does.

6.  The school wants to have only 1 meeting (1 hour) per term where they inform me of her Individual Learning Plan.  That's it.  For best practise, for a child with Autism, there should be a meeting once a month.  

Were you informed of this before you enrolled? I take it that's just for the IEP? meh - they don't stick to them anyway LOL - all that really determines is your level of funding...... From memory, we got one IEP a semester, or it may have even only been annually?

7.  I am a teacher, so I can test my child and plot her against the progression points to see where she is at.  HOWEVER, my testing comes up as much higher than her class testing - why?  Because she is at home, relaxed and her anxiety is low, which gives a false result.  I need to know where she is testing AT school and where school expects her to be at going forward.

Does it matter in Grade 1? You can work on the anxiety issues with the shrink - you just need to know/ ensure she is getting the information.

8.  Social engineering is VERY important for children with ASD.  L is disorganised (part of her condition).  By the time she is packed up, all the other kids are outside and playing and she simply doesn't have the social skills to think to go find a kid and ask them to play (although she is getting better).  The psychologist (private, top ASD psych) has told them over and over - she needs social engineering - you have to make sure she goes OUT with someone and then she will play with them.  She's ok once in the play, just has trouble initiating it.  She seems to be reasonably popular, gets invited to lots of parties, play dates etc.  Just has issues with asking kids to play whilst she is at school.  It's not hard for a teacher to do this.  It takes all of 20 seconds when the kids are eating.

so get the shrink to help her to practise approaching other kids - teach her how to role play it etc - it's fine saying the teacher "should" be doing it - but if they're not - just get on with it yourself...

9.  There is no point getting a tutor for her, because the school wont communicate the curriculum!  Whilst in general, schools have the same outcomes, they have very different ways of getting there.  Plus, she's too tired.  If her teacher can tell me what she needs help in, I can do it myself - but they don't seem to want to.  It's so weird.

Contact the education department in your state. The curriculum is a public document. Who cares how they get there - the only report card that matters is the one in grade 12

10.  I can't do parent helper, as I am at work.  I'm a single parent with massive bills in regards to all L's specialists.  Whilst I'd LOVE to take a day off a week to be with her and help her, it's simply not financially viable.

11.  Chill out time - L has ASD.  She needs to have 10 minutes break between each task.  That's a fact.  She gets sensory overload.  I don't pay hundreds of dollars every month for suggestions from a psychologist, as well as school visits to have the school ignore them.  

So, she needs to learn to ask to go to the toilet in between tasks - (that's code for "I need to go for a bit of a walk to get my head right")

12.  L has the same rights to learn as other children.  And she learns in a different way.  You wouldn't tell a child with cerebral palsy they couldn't use a walking frame because it was unfair to the other kids.  You wouldn't take a hearing impaired kids hearing aids away because no one else had them.  It's the same with L.  She has special needs.  She needs special concessions.  She has the same rights to learn as any other child.

Unfortunately, you are asking a mainstream school to cater to those special needs - sometimes it just isn't gonna happen - ya just have to accept that and fill in the gaps yourself - it's how it is...

13.  I cannot support the teacher and L if I am unaware of what is happening at school.  

[catsnknots]

http://community.ebay.com.au/topic/Community-Spirit/Support-Issues-Catholic/500159198

This has been going on since last year.. 

I think the school needs to be changed... 

I would like to know what the problem is??? 

is the child doing generally ok at school, has she got friends (seems to me she does as she is  even getting invites to parties... ) is she doing her work in class? 

What is the problem? Is it just the communication book or is there something else still going on? 

[*crikey*mate*]

My biggest problem with the school is that they want each child to learn at their own pace - which is all well and good, except that L has a very high IQ.  She has the ability to do extremely well IF given the chance.  I don't feel the school is allowing her to reach her academic potential by insisting she sticks to a curriculum that has no interest to her.

It doesn't help that when she was at a regional school, they went above and beyond any expectations I had and she had a wonderful start there.  This has also raised my expectations because I have seen best practice - and what is being offered now is far from that.

well then, you find a school that can cater for a gifted child. You are expecting a mainstream school which is designed to cater for the mid 80% of students to cater for a child at least 2 standard stanines above the norm.

Add to that the special needs as well, which makes her "twice exceptional" and you are now talking about a child amongst 2% of the population.

Just as a child who is 2 standard deviations below the norm needs specialist education, with EXPERTS in THAT field, so too does a child who is 2 standard deviations or more ABOVE.

Mainstream schooling is designed for IQ's between about 85 and 115

[*crikey*mate*]

BTW - a shrink who specializes in ASD doesn't necessarily specialize in G&T or TE.... and vice versa - you may need one of each that spoecializes in each field.