Someone's Mum has been found

[cherples]

Hopefully her family want to find her too

Decades of living on the street and abuse at the hands of those she loved made Noeline McCarron wonder if she could keep going. Then someone offered her a helping hand.

Leaning on a floral-print umbrella like a cane, Noeline McCarron hobbles towards a couch and sits quietly.

She has a slight hunch in her back and leans forward as she sits.

In her left hand she's clasping onto a trucker hat. A tropical shower looms outside as dark clouds gather and she's come prepared.

Thongs expose her battered feet which peek out from the bottom of a long black dress.

Her skin is worn and she speaks slowly, punctuating her words with a husky, persistent cough.

At 53, specks of grey are starting to emerge through her thick brown hair which she keeps short.

Now 16 months sober, Noeline says her senses are coming back to her.

She can smell and taste again and is observing things she had never seen before. More importantly, her state of mind is the best it has ever been.

"I'm enjoying everything," she says. "Getting up without a hangover, looking around and seeing four walls. I'm doing something I can be proud of."

Noeline moved to Australia in 1981, migrating from the North Island of New Zealand.

She married soon after and started a family in Sydney's western suburbs with her husband.

But the relationship didn't last.

"Things just didn't work out," she says.

"It's hard for me to say but I had to abandon my children to get out of domestic violence.

"I just ended up roaming anywhere."

the story continues at

http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2013/03/09/3711884.htm?site=farnorth

[tasfleur]

The poor lady.  In my opinion what is really important for her is the here and now as well as the future. I'm not a christian, but isn't there a saying that goes  "there but for the grace of God go I"?  Perhaps it does work, I really don't know, but the lady has obviously landed on her feet so to speak, so I hope she can always look ahead now.

[catsnknots]

Cats I'm truly surprised that you don't get it -  you have such an understanding of 

people who have or had mental/emotional  problems and you usually show such compassion , I've always admired that from you.

I'm not saying you're not being compassionate but I just think we  don't know the whole story - if she had a mental disorder and hit the bottle

then what hope was for her at the time?  I'd say very little. 

I just know what I read in the op too but I'd say there's much more to this than we know.  

And the ability to make choices is not always possible for someone.

One of the reasons I did not go back and finish my psych degree is because I have become really short with people that don't do the right thing to better themselves, even more so if they have children... 

So many times people want your sympathy and want you to hear their story... I just got so over the drama that people have in their lives... I started to think omg just make changes to improve it rather than wallow in it... 

It is not that I judge them for not doing it but I just get tired of hearing their drama... 

Had huge discussions with my psychologist and psychiatrist about this very topic over the last three years and apparently it is very common for people with high expectations of themselves to also have those expectations in others... 

One thing I have learnt over the years is that you may not understand or like what others do but you never judge them.... 

[catsnknots]

hm... I probably had lots more compassion ten years ago..... I guess I have hardened up in my old age too... probably gone the opposite way to lots of others... 

[nevynreally]

hm... I probably had lots more compassion ten years ago..... I guess I have hardened up in my old age too... probably gone the opposite way to lots of others... 

It's not about compassion, the same resources are there for everyone, and were back then. It's about accepting responsibility for your wrong choices, and not blaming everyone else or circumstances.

[not_an_eloi]

post 21

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSaXKK-OdHUQT7WMYqbWw4khT2fUDgLUXSQ1rLZglGQk1zoBpNg

[the_great_she_elephant]

It is not that I judge them for not doing it but I just get tired of hearing their drama...

That's a very honest and very wise statement, Cat. I think we get tired of hearing the dramas because with some people we know that in the end there is nothing we can do do help them. No matter how much advice we give or how much help is available, they  are simply incapable of taking it.

What I find sad though, is that so many people who would never dream of criticising others for being physically weak openly despise and denigrate those less mentally or emotionally robust. 

[cherples]

One of the reasons I did not go back and finish my psych degree is because I have become really short with people that don't do the right thing to better themselves, even more so if they have children... 

I imagine it would be a frustrating and tiresome job listening to people with problems.  The people that helped the person in the article must be good at it though.  I was reading it trying to imagine approaching and opening conversation with angry homeless people.  That's a tough job.

Good on you for changing your mind about finishing a degree that was wrong for you. It sounds like you found something so much better for you now.

[izabsmiling]

I hope that she finds her children and is able to tell them her story and as she says tell them that it wasn't their fault .

There no doubt is be so much to the story than this brief article .She has gone from feeling powerless,ashamed,scared,unattractive and unlovable to feeling that she is worth something.

Non-judgemental conversations seem to have played a part in that process .

[izabsmiling]

and of course hear their stories .They need to be able to do that too I think.

[izabsmiling]

I was referring to her children tell her their stories.

I'd really like to Congratulate  Noeline and wish her all the very best .