Suicide

[martinw-48]

Why is it so bad?
Is it just that misery loves company.
That no one should have an easy out.
That you must suffer with the rest of us.
I actually benifited from suicide.
If my father hadn't killed himself I'd have had to kill him.
I couldn't live any longer under his control.
What is it with people that you must suffer from the same things that they hate.
I have been whinged at for years for not having gotten married and having children.
Even by total strangers.
The exception is that some men tell me that I'm extremely smart.
That they wished that they'd never married and they can be either still married or divorced.
I actually understand why people kill themselves.
Why constantly suffer just because someone else who hasn't ever been able to make your life better get to keep you suffering.
They always claim that they could of helped but how do they really know.
It could be that those who claim that they could have helped make the departed life better were the very one's that the departed wanted to get away from.

[kopenhagen5]

Why is it so bad?

Because it hurts so many innocent people even if the actor doesn't think so.

Often it is a frame of mind with a sunnier frame of mind only around the corner.

However it is different for everyone and can be very complicated.

(posted to stay within guidelines - https://www.lifeline.org.au/ .........https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention)

[martinw-48]

Death happens to everyone.
If nobody died I could understand but to say that someone can't kill themselves because it affects those around them.
Then no one should drink alcohol.
No one should speak their minds.
I cause constant grief for my family just by speaking my mind.
So the selfishness of people means that someone can't be selfish in killing themself.
Sounds like hypocrisy to me.
I have decided not to kill myself because my sister will be negatively affected but if she didn't exist I'd have done it years ago.
My life has been constant suffering except for five years.
I'm fifty two.
I'm sick of it.
No one has the right to extend my torture

[martinw-48]

I can't even walk down the street without being abused because I have hair on my head.
Why do people think that what others do has anything to do with them.
I don't give a flying **bleep** what others do.
I'm obviously mental

[martinw-48]

I forgot.
We're not allowed to talk about anything serious.
I look forward to this thread being exterminated

[freddie*rooster]

Martin, could you explain what you mean by being abused

because you have hair on your head please? Is your sister

older or younger than you?

[springyzone]

I have been debating whether to answer this thread, today of all days.

My brother in law committed suicide overnight. Hanged himself.

You ask-Is it bad? It affects all of the living, it is an absolutely horrible last memory to have of a person, that it came to this. It will be very hard for his children and very hard for his wife, who found him.

It is sad anyone has to feel such a depth of depression that it comes to this.

Do I think it is always bad? My brother in law was suffering from Parkinson's Disease. He could barely move, was having trouble speaking, could no longer take himself to the toilet. His wife is developing dementia and he was getting worse. So I think sometimes circumstances can just overwhelm people with despair. I understand that.

But I think, Martin, that what you need to look at with suicide is not what you have lost but what you have left. In your case, although you have health issues, you are able to walk down the street, you are able to browse the internet, sit in the sunshine. You have the love of a mother and sister.

There are some bad things in the world but there's a lot of good too.

Depression is real, but although you had a bad experience with one psychologist, it may be worth seeking some help elsewhere, there are some medications that might help.

Everyone does die eventually, but for most people there is no reason to bring it on early. In the meantime, I am hoping you can get some joy out of life.

[martinw-48]

I have the guilt of a mother not the love.
She feels guilty and apologies frequently for my life.
As a child she never hugged me once.
She often claims that my childhood wasn't that bad which begs the question of why she bothers to apologise at all.
She gets embarrassed when I talk about my childhood.
She has done horrible things to me and my sister.
She even hit me with a spade once and then proceeded to kick the **bleep** out of me.
Is that the love of a mother

[bright.ton42]

---

@martinw-48 wrote:
I forgot.
We're not allowed to talk about anything serious.
I look forward to this thread being exterminated

---

I certainly do hope we are allowed to talk about  such things and i actually have often felt that suicide  could be discussed more  as it  is so often swept under the carpet.so thanks for starting this thread martin, it is courageous of you.

As Kopes says it is very complicated  and difficult for people who don't know you to comment helpfully.  My father took his own life but he was very ill , and depressed.  Depression is indeed an illness in itself and one suffers greatly  from it, but  i feel that if my dad had sought professional help he may have overcome it.   

But it was his life and his choice what  to do with it.

Having said that i know of many who have overcome depression and  suicidal thoughts with help, and 

gone on to live a much brighter and hopeful  life .   Imo it is worth fighting for  that.    

[the_great_she_elephant]

Martin, I can't even begin to imagne the horrors that have led you to be in the mind space you are in today.

There are no easy answers, haters will always hate, abusers  will abuse and often there is no redress.

But here, in this moment and on this forum, you are safe and amomg friends.

We hear you, we care about you, none of us wil ever want to hurt you  and if we were with you in person we would have our arms around you. 

That's  not much to hang onto, I know, but please hang onto it anyway and hold it close to you  when things are darkest.