Suicide

[martinw-48]

Why is it so bad?
Is it just that misery loves company.
That no one should have an easy out.
That you must suffer with the rest of us.
I actually benifited from suicide.
If my father hadn't killed himself I'd have had to kill him.
I couldn't live any longer under his control.
What is it with people that you must suffer from the same things that they hate.
I have been whinged at for years for not having gotten married and having children.
Even by total strangers.
The exception is that some men tell me that I'm extremely smart.
That they wished that they'd never married and they can be either still married or divorced.
I actually understand why people kill themselves.
Why constantly suffer just because someone else who hasn't ever been able to make your life better get to keep you suffering.
They always claim that they could of helped but how do they really know.
It could be that those who claim that they could have helped make the departed life better were the very one's that the departed wanted to get away from.

[lyndal1838]

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@martinw-48 wrote:

What is getting me tired is that the last twenty six years every year gets worse.
With my health deteriorating more each year even though I have been living a very healthy lifestyle since developing diabetes ten years ago.
It appears that the damage was done well before then with many issues being hereditary.
They say that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger buy no, not when it's diabetes, heart disease, arthritis and tendonitis of every single joint in my body.
I can be thankful that the Idiopathic Brachial Neuritis didn't cause total paralysis of my arm but it's not far off and the

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Martin you are not the only one dealing with multiple illnesses and disabilities.  I have diabetes and arthritis too as well as very bad knees that I have been dealing with for over 60 years.

Do you have a Chemist Warehouse near you?   They have very good prices on pain relief tablets and even full prices prescriptions are at least a dollar cheaper from them.  I know you have a Health Care card but even they have limits.

As an example, a doctor can give you a prescription for Panamax for pain and you will pay your subsidised price ($5??) but Panamax is available over the counter for $2.49 for a box of 100 and as low as 69 cents when on special.  Panamax is the poor man's Panadol....exactly the same ingredients.  We always buy them when they are on special and rarely have to get them at full price.

If you are willing to trust me and PM me your address I will post you a couple of boxes I have here and hope they help with the budget.

Another trick to help with the arm problem.....put your arm in a sling when you go out.  Nobdy would be upset at you not shaking hands (or use the other hand just to be polite) and only a sadist would hit you when you have an arm in a sling.

[joz*garage]

Do you rent or have a mortgage?

[martinw-48]

I own my home.
I'm on pretty heavy opioids but the pain is incredibly intense.
I take a half dose during the day so I'm able to stay awake.
My arm is most comfortable when hanging due to pre existing tendinitis of the elbow so a sling won't work

[martinw-48]

I also have torn cartridges in both knees and an extra bone in my foot that causes grief

[martinw-48]

And an inoperable hernia

[lyndal1838]

You really are an encyclopaedia of medical problems Martin....I sympathise with the knee problems.   I dislocated my knees when I was a child and have had problems ever since.

You will not be on opioids forever so the offer still stands for the Panamax if you would like to try them.  And the sling was just a suggestion for when you are out and likely to run into anyone who feels like hitting the sore arm (probably because they do not realize the pain you are in).

[joz*garage]

I found that i can save due to owning my own house on a disability pension

If i want something - i'll buy it, i'm even thinking of treating myself to a luxury car, Nissan Cima, negotiating as we speak

Was tough at first when i could no longer work though, I needed to sell my previous house and my hot rod..

So i could get into to something else in a low end area for cash, to get out of a mortgage

At that time - i was never cashless, and i was no longer going to dip into my mortgage and get deeper in dept...so i seeked assistance from (forget the charity), food bags, and as someone said earlier your bills can be taken care of too if you provide them with the necessary proof. 

[joz*garage]

I still struggle with my back problems, although i've read all of Mckenzies literature, I since discovered how to locate a trained professional in the Mckenzie method

Only two here in Perth near me

https://www.mckenzieinstituteaustralia.org/patients/find-a-mdt-clinician/

[martinw-48]

Thanks Lyndal.
You can't get a cheaper house than mine.
There's a smaller one in town but if I sold mine to buy that I'd end up owing money again due to all the fees.
A luxury to me is three meals a day.
Two is all I can afford and only because one of them is porridge

[lyndal1838]

Martin you have plenty of land....have you tried growing some vegetables?

It is probably not the time to start now with your arm, but a small plot could provide you with all the basics.....potatoes, carrots peas, beans....you get the drift.

With your fresh veges taken care of you would have more money for the supermarket things you cannot grow yourself.

Have you tried brown sugar on your porridge for a change.....my father swore by it....even ate it as a snack if mum would let him.