on โ11-04-2009 07:38 PM
Solved! Go to Solution.
on โ27-07-2013 05:41 PM
A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?"
He says, "I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!"
on โ28-07-2013 05:27 PM
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone
on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker
function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful
leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and
saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted
last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. T hey will
probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really
a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room
are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
on โ29-07-2013 05:15 PM
A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, โWhat are you looking for? He replied, โThe expiration date.โ
on โ30-07-2013 06:08 PM
on โ31-07-2013 06:08 PM
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"
on โ01-08-2013 03:07 PM
*Waving to tommy.irene* xx
on โ01-08-2013 07:25 PM
on โ02-08-2013 05:48 PM
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're
really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
murmur; be careful.'
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath,
he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
on โ03-08-2013 06:44 PM
A young bride tells her friend, โPaul keeps telling everyone heโs going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.โ
โ What a shame! And after all the time youโve been engaged!โ
on โ04-08-2013 06:39 PM
Doctor: Whatโs wrong with your bother?
Boy: He thinks he is a chicken.
Doctor: really? How long has this been going on?
Boy: Five years.
Doctor: Five years!
Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs.