W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

My neighbour needs medical help.  

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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

My Mum had one. she did always wear it on her wrist, but was reluctant to push it.. didn't want to bother anyone.

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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

There is nothing to stop the OP from informing  her Dr (same one as the neighbours) her concerns about her neighbour though?

 

The son? Same,  Dr can't give out any info, but son could express his concerns to the Dr. Ask about home help services ( yes, the neighbour doesn't want any at this stage).

 

 

Message 52 of 70
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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

she's a stubborn and cantankerous old biddy.   not to worry...things are SLOWLY progresssing...spoke tot he son tonight.  he's doiig his best.  might have to tell him he has to actually come down here an see for himself.

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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

You may have to tell him that, I can't understand why he hasn't.

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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

I don't think they have the best of relationships....which I can understand, but he is her only child and she's a widow.

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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

I have just left my mother in law in the care of a carer for 2 hours while I come home for a quick break and then off to do her shopping and go back. My story is far too long and complicated to put it here but I can tell you that up till now if my mother in law refuses help there is nothing we as the family can do, My FIL is in hospital and has been for nearly a fortnight just after the new year he was there for a week, he will be there for at least another week, he was the person looking after her, he was the person doing everything for her, she was assessed 2 yrs ago, early dementia, absolutely refused help of any kind apart from a fortnightly cleaner.

Fil has POA over Mil but just will not do anything.

Push is coming to shove now, there are 4 children doing 24 hr shifts looking after my mil plus me and other sil doing for her, it is a nightmare, we can not at this point get her into respite, hubby spoke to social worker at hospital, she told us catagorically the kids have no say at this point, Fil has no say, it is only when she completely loses it that he gets a say. Mil can not and will not stay by herself, she does nothing apart from sweep the kitchen floor and make her bed. Can not concentrate on anything.

 

Have lost count of the visits to dr's, hospital, ect, we kids and partners are at our wits end but I can tell you when FIL is 110% better I will be having a say, been married long enough to their eldest to have some say, especially since they all seem to know my phone number when help is required.

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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

Oh yes, we do have a bit of extra help as of today, the "carer" is also the cleaner, so aside from cleaning for 1 hr she will talk to Mil for a couple hrs.
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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

Gil, I have been reading this thread and feeling your pain. There are people in this world who CARE and people who don't. You care, I care. However, there is absolutely nothing you can do. I know from experience, only it was my own father. My three sisters, could not, because of distance, or would not, help. And didn't want to hear the truth of his circumstance. My worst fear came true, when, locked in his house, (deadlocks) fell asleep in front of the tv, dinner on the stove caused house fire. He couldn't escape because he had locked the doors.I don't need to spell out the result.  I had had all the things done already suggested on this thread, ACAT, psych assessment, meals on wheels, homehelp etc.. There was not one more thing I could have done, and i was his daughter!  One never recovers from this, but help is at hand.....FOR YOU. 

 

Please do this....go to your GP, tell him/her how this is affecting you. You have enough to deal with, with your own OH. Ask for the free number of  visits (can't remember if its 6 or ๐Ÿ˜Ž to a local psychologist. These have to be referred,but It is an available service to everyone. 

 

 Please....you will be amazed how a "third party" can give you so much personal insight into any problem, this current one being a biggie, and can assist in giving you ways to handle the situation. As I said, YOU can't help the neighbour, you need to have the tools to learn how you handle it, its not going to magically disappear. Its not as if you can suddenly move.  Maybe continue to do those things like feed chooks and animals for the moment, this is not an instant fix, but please, again, put yourself first. 

 

You are a very compassionate person, and that person knows it!  

 

 

Message 58 of 70
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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

I think when family, as roserobin posted, do help out a lot with elderly parents and in-laws, those elderly people think they are coping OK because the don't realise/understand just how much help they get from family. It is the families help that keeps them ticking on OK in their own home. They also don't realise what an imposition that can be on family members if it is more than occasional help.

 

 

 

 

Message 59 of 70
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Re: W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

Curious as to whats been happening Gill

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