Wedding Etiquette

[chinchuckchick]

Haven't been to a wedding for a few years (all our friends are married/not getting married/divorced etc) recieved one yesterday for the daughter of friends.

Anyway, is it usual these days to put BSB/Account details on the card that says there will be a wishing well?

Fair enough (much as I dislike the lack of personal touch in a money gift) I've gotten used to wishing wells, especially for couples who have been together for a long time, I don't even mind putting money toward their honeymoon, but to turn it into a bank transaction goes too far for me.

[everything*that*i*ever*wanted]

We had a wishing well for our wedding as we already have all we need. We made it clear to everyone beforehand that gifts / money were not necessary as we just wanted them to share the day with us and many people had to travel to come to our wedding. We actually had people ask us for our bank details as they preferred to transfer money rather than take a risk of the money going missing or to enable us to put it towards the wedding beforehand.

The money has been put aside for our family honeymoon in October. We also received gifts as well.

After such a beautiful day, the gifts and money were an unecessary surprise, but very dearly appreciated.

I had always been against giving money as it seemed impersonal, but so many people said they preferred it especially as we were already set up homewise and made gift choosing easier. Back at the time of my first wedding, people thought gift registries were tacky...

[the-kazbar]

I am horrified by people who think it's ok to ask for money instead of gifts for children's birthdays now....... because they have everything already?

I think it is rude.

A few weeks back we had a party for my 6 year old daughter and one of her gifts was cash in a card. I was shocked that someone would give a small child money instead of a gift.

[azureline**]

I would be shocked too...it isn't difficult to buy gifts for children especially if you have one the same age?

I think if you or your child has EVERYTHING, say No gifts please and mean it.

[cherry*135]

My girls got cash sometimes from friends attending their birthday parties (and they loved it). I can't remember what the youngest age they would have received cash would have been though, definitely primary age. .. Some mothers are time poor (working full-time, several children of their own), getting a card and cash maybe all they had time to do that week.

My niece's 3 children do pretty much have everything toy, book wise, outdoor play stuff (they have a lot of relatives who indulge them). Niece asked her MIL if she would like to contribute to swimming lessons instead of toys etc for one child''s bday present, which MIL was happy to do.

I have been sending these kids money or gift cards since they were quite small, so they can choose something they like and that they haven't already got.

[at_wicks_end]

Well, I find Gift Registeries tacky, Wishing Wells tacky, Bank Transfers tacky, and now Az is saying there is a new trend of Money for kids birthday parties!   What is wrong with a quiet word to the recipient, asking what they would like?  If they cannot think of anything, then Gift Vouchers for later use should be fine.  Things do wear out, need replacing, so would still be used eventually. 

I do worry about the attitudes of the future. 

[at_wicks_end]

AM, I believe gifts of money for children who do not live near you is fine.  Often had that as a child myself, makes sense.  But, as for going to a childs party, no, dont like that.  As AZ said, it is dead easy to buy for a child, can always chose a book if they are spoilt rotten and "have everything already."

[cherry*135]

Some kids have a gazillion books too. Also as I pointed out  above some Mums (or Dads) just may not have time in the week the party is on to go to shops and choose a gift. 

It is better to bring a card and cash than to say to a child, sorry I was too busy this week to get you anything.

Kids (even from a young age) do love to be able to go to a shop with present money and choose something for themselves.

[lurker17260]

I used to agree with you at_wicks_end but when I look at my son and his fiance, who are getting married later this year, there really is not very much that they need and it would really just be buying "stuff" for the sake of it.

When people asked what they wanted for an engagement present they said anything to help with their home renovations so they got heaps of Bunnings vouchers :^O.  One tradie friend even gave them a voucher offering his services for a weekend.

However, I do find that if I am giving cash I usually give more than I might spend on a gift so I don't appear too mean 😄

[darksideofthemoon]

Gone are the days of silver salvers and chrystal glasses, dinner sets and canteens of cutlery... all too grand and not utalitarian.

I think it's sad, but I suppose it a different time now and those things are just not worth the money or are ever used any more.  Not even as family valuables 😞

[everything*that*i*ever*wanted]

My kids prefer money or vouchers for presents. Their grandparents are quite out of touch with the things they like, even when they call to ask specifically what the kids would like. Miss 15yo received a Barbie dress for her 13th birthday from one of her grandies...she asked for a silver charm. For Christmas this year she received a crucifix necklace when it is known she doesn't believe in God.

My mother takes all the grandkids shopping after Christmas. That way it is a gift of her time and money and the kids get to choose what they would like.

Things my girls have bought with their cash presents in the past couple of years have been a phone, furniture, Kindle, ipod, ipod repair lol, itunes songs and videos, books and clothes.