What do you say to a friend who is dying?

[au-j402]

I have a friend who is in his last days or, at most, weeks. I don't know how to speak to him about what's important. We can have conversations about all the usual unimportant stuff, but how do I broach the subject that he is dying and I'm going to miss him?
He knows I care, but I feel we have more to say. Am I just being selfish in my need to talk about this?



(I am a regular poster here, but have chosen to use this id for my and my friends privacy)

[cherry*135]

How would this subject invade your privacy? User id names aren't real names. Seems very odd to create a new ID just to ask this question.

[icyfroth]

I remember this same topic from ages ago. No wonder the poster doesn't want to disclose his real ID.

[cherry*135]

Fishing for other posters to tell them their sad stories so they can make fun of them later?

[twyngwyn]

Ask them outright...they don't have time to mess about with bullsh*t...and will appreciate your vulnerability & honesty

[purple_haize]

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@am*3 wrote:

Fishing for other posters to tell them their sad stories so they can make fun of them later?

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I was going to comment, but I wont be now, thanks for the enlightment, AM.

[the*scarlet*pimpernel]

you say, Mate, it really sux that you're gonna kark it. I'm gonna miss you. Can I have your tinny

[icyfroth]

yeah someone who uses au a lot in their various Id's

[*crikey*mate*]

He may know you care, but he also knows he is dying.

How is he taking that?

Has he accepted that?

It could well be that he would be grateful to address what is a pretty big thing, but is wary of making you uncomfortable or distressed.

When my father was crook, I just had to come out with it and ask him cos everyone else was pussyfooting around it.

Had to ask him if he wanted to talk about it.

Also had to ask the stuff like if it comes to machines to keep you alive, how long do you want to give it till we turn them off. It sounds cold, but some stuff you just have to ask and know.

When my daughter was dying, she wanted to know about it, she wanted to know what would happen. She wanted people to address it rather than pussyfoot around and make like everything was all rosy.

[au-j402]

Well, gee thanks am and icy. Your compassion is comforting. You (I hope) may not realise that au is a default prefix that ebay gives a new id. But, hey guys, you go for it.
I did, foolishly it seems, ask for real opinions. I'll go back to not knowing what to say

To the others, thanks.