What do you say to a friend who is dying?

[au-j402]

I have a friend who is in his last days or, at most, weeks. I don't know how to speak to him about what's important. We can have conversations about all the usual unimportant stuff, but how do I broach the subject that he is dying and I'm going to miss him?
He knows I care, but I feel we have more to say. Am I just being selfish in my need to talk about this?



(I am a regular poster here, but have chosen to use this id for my and my friends privacy)

[joz*garage]

disregard my previous post pimpy, i remember the last time i made new selling accounts the system changed

(to take advantage of the frree listing promotions

ebay assigns you with a name based on the first and last name you enter in your details.

then once the account is finalized you can edit a name you choose

'scusy x 

[Anonymous]

Organize a really cool gift for him;

A personally made up CD of his favourite songs / artists.

[aftanas]

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@au-j402 wrote:
I have a friend who is in his last days or, at most, weeks. I don't know how to speak to him about what's important. We can have conversations about all the usual unimportant stuff, but how do I broach the subject that he is dying and I'm going to miss him?
He knows I care, but I feel we have more to say. Am I just being selfish in my need to talk about this?



(I am a regular poster here, but have chosen to use this id for my and my friends privacy)

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au-j402

          I have some experience with this, both academically and personally.  I infer your friend is suffering from a protracted terminal disease and has come to terms with it.  If so, he is more comfortable with his situation than you are, and is most likely more concerned with your emotional welfare than his own.  He won't be embarrassed talking about his death.  If you want to talk to him, just talk. 

[j*oono]

Difficult.  You only work out what you wanted to say when it's too late.

[azureline**]

It's their death. You let them decide if and when they want to discuss it.

[this-one-time-at-bandcamp]

You might look for an appropriate card, or make one, and put into writing your questions.

[siggie-reported-by-alarmists]

Interesting timing OP......hmmmmmmm.

[ruloinfovoter]

You know, isn't this a tough one.

I can tell you when my father was on his death bed, and he said to me "You've been good to me", I choked, I couldn't say a thing, I had no words.  I could only pat his hand, sometimes words fail us and it is a hug or a squeeze of the hand and being there for the ones that are dying.

One of the hardest things I had to do emotionally was read my father his last Christmas cards.  Everyone in the parish knew he was dying and they were sending Christmas cards telling  him how much they enjoyed working with him at charity bazaars etc.  I tell you, I was choking, I could barely read them but I knew he really loved hearing them so I made it through.  My father also didn't like displays of emotion, (Irish), although laughter was always acceptable in any form.

Hard stuff dealing with death and loved ones dying.

[nicnacs_4u]

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@punch*drunk wrote:

I dont think thats a question anyone else can answer really. Everyone's different.

I had to say goodbye to a loved one yesterday I held her hand, hugged her and made sure she was comfortable and that she knew she was loved. None of it needed lots of words or discussion, just actions and feelings.

I guess it may be harder for men as they are not always the hugging, hand holding type, often just being there for them is enough. But honestly, if you feel you have more to say, just go ahead and say it.

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I`m sorry to read this Punchy..hugs to you

[punch*drunk]

Thanks nics ♥