Why is it more acceptable for older men to date younger women vs older women.....

[the_bob_delusion]

dating younger men.

Discuss.

[lalbo-81]

---

@chameleon54 wrote:

Is it something primal ? 

As Springy has mentioned..........In this politically correct, B$ age, we forget that humans have primal instincts.

Men can usually father children at a lot older age than woman remain fertile......

Spoiler

OK usual suspects ...........GO !           

---

I don't think I'm a " usual suspect" , but I don't understand why a man would want to have a baby that he wouldn't likely live to see grow up, have their own kids, etc. That is nothing but ego, and nobody, including the mother, is considering that child's future and its emotions. It's awful for a child to lose a parent before they even hit legal age...

[*kazumi*]

I know men who spent their lives making lot of money, working long hours, and playing the field.  Then got to be past their midlife crises and suddenly got clucky.  One of them married woman in her 30s, he retired and they had 2 children from IVF when he was almost 50.  He absolutely dotes on the kids, who are now about 20 years old, and he is still alive, and cannot wait to have grandkids.  They are comfortable, and seem to be happy.  She will possibly outlive him; then she can become cougar.  🙂  But having older, well off, devoted husband is not a bad situation.

[the_bob_delusion]

---

@lionrose.7 wrote:

Perhaps it is some mens Massive ego's that they need to have a a young women on their arm, "Look I still got it LOL"

I few of my friends have younger husbands and it seems to be working out

---

Question wasn't why it happens or even whether it works out or not but why we're socially conditioned to be more accepting of an older male/younger female vs older female vs younger men scenario. 

[not_for_sale2025]

---

@the_bob_delusion wrote:

---

Question wasn't why it happens or even whether it works out or not but why we're socially conditioned to be more accepting of an older male/younger female vs older female vs younger men scenario. 

---

Who are the "we" you are referring to? Certainly old fuddy duddies may see it the way you are suggesting, but they are yesterday. Younger people are far more accepting and less judgemental. The post-Victorian era is done, so move over and let the current generation occupy the "we".

[*kazumi*]

---

@the_bob_delusion wrote:

---

---

Question wasn't why it happens or even whether it works out or not but why we're socially conditioned to be more accepting of an older male/younger female vs older female vs younger men scenario. 

---

Because marriage used to be about having family.  In the past you needed to have 10 kids if you wanted to be sure enough will survive to adulthood to carry on your name (DNA).  So man needed young fertile fit wife, and it helped if he was able to provide for her and the kids.  Young man, unless he inherited wealth, would not be able to to feed family.  In the past if you wanted to learn trade your parents actually had to pay the master cobbler (or whatever) to take you on, and then you would live under his roof, they'd feed you, but would not pay you until you are trained. 

However, that does not mean that women did not marry younger men.  One of my ancestors back in early 1700 was a wealthy widow (I do not know what her 1st husband, my many times great grandfather, did besides being businessman, and mayor of the town) who married a younger man.  They had together another 14 children, and when she died, he remarried and his second wife was 27 years younger than he was, and they had another 5 kids.  The second husband also became mayor.  So obviously marrying older woman was quite acceptable.  

[springyzone]

I think you're quite right and it could and did happen. My own grt grandmother (or one of them, anyway) had 3 husbands. The first husband was about her age and they had 6 children before she was widowed at about 29, second marriage, similar aged husband and a couple more children before being widowed at about 35, then third time she married a man of 20. She was about 37 or 38, so quite a gap there.

The first thing that went through my mind was why would a man of 20 want to take on a woman with 8 children. She went on to have 2 more children but here's the thing, my grandfather was, at the age of about 10 or 11, put into a Home for fatherless boys and waifs. The story I heard was step dad didn't particularly like him and with more mouths to feed on the way.........

So that's a pretty good example, I think, of why women in the past might have had trouble if they married much younger men. I'm not saying a few years here or there was a concern but when you get to eg an 18 year age gap, you're looking at a younger man who might want a family and who is just starting off in life, not so financial. 

Women were in a vulnerable position in the past, they tended to get pregnant often, they needed the support of a husband so they often remarried reasonably quickly.

The men often remarried quickly too but for the opposite reason. If they were left widowed, they wanted someone to look after all their children.

But there are several cases in one of my family trees where children (and not newborns either) were placed in Children's homes. If you were poor and your husband couldn't support everyone or didn't want to, you were in a jam. No wonder so many women of the past would have rated security and support highly. 

[paper-jack]

If "Why is it more acceptable...." was replaced with "Why are there more older men with younger women than older women with younger men" I'd say "money" - sadly a fact that older men are statistically better off financially than older women, and so more likely to to be able to afford to indulge in fancies.

[eol-products]

I would agree it is related to money. The best way to see this is when you would have a gay younger man with a gay older man who happened to be financially better off. I doubt you would see the reverse in this situation.

[*kazumi*]

---

@paper-jack wrote:
If "Why is it more acceptable...." was replaced with "Why are there more older men with younger women than older women with younger men" I'd say "money" - sadly a fact that older men are statistically better off financially than older women, and so more likely to to be able to afford to indulge in fancies.

---

I have never had interest in younger men.  Nothing to do with security, I just found the older men more interesting, and the younger ones annoyingly immature. 

[bright.ton42]

Very good point.