how would you survive?

[davidc4430]

Domestic abuse survivor Kim O'Reilly calls for football clubs to ban violent men

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-12-24/domestic-violence-victim-says-football-clubs-must-change/1300...

how could a man go on living with himself after doing such a horendous thing?

how do you face the everysday world knowing just about everyone you will meet knows your a lowlife scumbag

as for his 'friends' who wrote glowing references for his court case, hang you heads in shame!

i would never support a club who supported a man who pled guilty to a crime of such magnitude

putting hands on anyone in anger is unacceptable, a young girl is only slightly above a child, no matter the reason.

6 years is a minimum IMO

as to apealing, he pled guilty! thus got a lower sentence anyhow.

[4channel]

A nasty piece of work. How could  a man do such a thing to his lady? It's oblivious that he has some kind of mental issue and a detachment.

[not_for_sale2025]

I doubt he'll do too well in prison. His type aren't very welcome in there!

[daydreams_12]

You just have to survive or they WIN.

Forty years ago I was a victim.  Mobile only on crutches at the time due to a car accident I asrrived  home to our 2nd floor unit 10 mins later than expected.  As I walked  through the door I was pushed back down the stairs sustaining a broken arm to go with the leg.  A neighbour called police but I was the one the police took away.  I was made to strip at the station to enable photos of any bruises - there were planty!  The b.....d was given 24 hrs to leave while I was left in my car with a 10 yr old. 

I scrounged, begged and borrowed to have him in court.  I eventually won but it cost me more than money. 

Many men still believe that it is their right to do with a female as they please.  It made me very sceptical for may years. 

Anyone who suffers from DV made sure you report as many times as you need to get action.

[imastawka]

The thing is, she never reported him to the police.  She never called them.

It was a neighbour who witnessed the assault that called them.

As far as I'm concerned if he can inflict that much damage - and he has, to previous girlfriends - he is a murderer in the making.

All he needs is another victim and time.

His football club members who gave character witness should be ashamed.

Daydreams, I am so sorry to read of your troubles  

[bright.ton42]

A lot of women are scared of reprisals if they report them.  And with reason, as the abusers are often released with a slap on the wrist and return to bash the woman again.

A young woman we used to know was being bashed  by her husband.  But she always returned to him.  One night at about 3am she appeared on our door, swollen face, black and blue.  We comforted her for about 2 hours, pleaded with her to report him and she said she'd go back, pack her things (to stay with us) and report him.  Next day she rang and said things were 'ok' and not to worry and pleaded with us not to do anything.  .  Of course the abuse continued.  

It's a terrible thing. 

[davidc4430]

i read its common for victims to not say/do anything

i believe its fear of what will happen if they do

until the claims are proven the abuser can claim innocent 'ones word against another'

so he (its usually a he) is set free

there are so many examples of men killing in retribution

there was a case here in adelaide, a man walked into the states convention center during a convention, walked up to his ex wife and shot her dead in broad daylight

all the bits of paper in the world cant really protect a victim if the abuser is that twisted

[imastawka]

I realise all that Bright.

But my musings were.......would she have ever reported him?

If not for the neighbour calling the police, he may well have continued and eventually killed her.

[bright.ton42]

Yes Stawks, I know you fully understand, I wasn't intending to be preachy.  Just citing one personal case I knew of.  As you said many women never report it and end up being killed.  It is terrible for onlookers to be unable to do nothing as their word virtualy means nothing unless they witness the actual abuse.  To live like that, being abused but frightened to report it would be absolute hell. 

[katistrophik]

It can be a terrifyingly pshycological thing as well.

A man [usually the charmer in the begining] can slowly, over time take more and more control of a woman, reduce time spent with family, pursuade you to disassociate with the the wrong' type of friends [in his opinion] etc, to the point where she becomes so isolated she feels like she has no where to go and nobody to turn to.

It is a form of 'grooming' and it can happen so gradually that  the victim does not notice until the behaviour has increased from caring to possesive / jealous / controlling and culminating in rage and violence.

It is hard for most people who have never suffered verbal, psychological or physical abuse to understand just how powerless a woman can become, or rather believe she has become. The victim herself can often not believe how she let it get to this, but shame often stops her from speaking out. It can get to the point where you feel as helpless as a child - being so terrified of retribution that they suffer in silence and hope  against hope he will change.

I think that is why only a few cases of DM ever even make it to court, and why so many end so tragically.

Not intended for you Bright - just hit Reply above