The Whack-a-Word game

[countessalmirena]

I hope this might prove to be another enjoyable word game on this board.

The idea is this: the starting poster posts a word that represents a weapon (funny, serious, bizarre, whatever the case may be), and uses that word in a sentence that describes the attack. It can be as simple as "Aimed gun."

(If the weapon uses more than one word, it can be hyphenated but needn't be; it should be treated as one word. Ditto for the defence/armour.)

The second poster posts a word that represents a defence/armour to that weapon (again, it can be funny, serious, bizarre, or whatever), and uses that word in a sentence that describes the defence.

The second poster must then also post a weapon that starts with any of the letters in the preceding weapon word EXCEPT for either first or last letter, and use the word in a sentence describing the attack.

The responding poster posts in the same way as the second poster, and so on.

It can be written in the first person ("I raised my sword") or second person ("He/she raised his/her word").

For example:

POSTER 1:  JELLY-SWORD: I draw my wobbly jelly-sword from its scabbard and with a "ha!", I lunge forward.

POSTER 2: ELECTION POSTER: I raise my election poster and it deflects the attack.

LICORICE TANK: I get into my licorice tank and drive it forward menacingly.

POSTER 3: etc.

Would anyone like to start?

[countessalmirena]

RIP-‘EM SNORE TRUMPET - The husband was making a lot of money selling bootleg Roaring Snoring recordings on the dark web, and this THOU-SHALT-NOT-SNORE MASK was interfering with that; he glared at his wife and attached a RIP-‘EM SNORE TRUMPET to his nostrils, which made his snores louder than ever!

The shoe salesman was exasperated by the fussy youth who had so far tried on 12 pairs of shoes and found fault with all, so the next pair he brought out for the young man to try had a STABBING PINPRICKS OF COMPLIANCY SOLE which would mercilessly poke with pinpricks at the underside of the youth’s foot and inject him with a drug that would render him extremely compliant so he’d agree to buy the shoes and leave the shop at last.

[veiled-lady]

PINPRICK PREVENTING FLUFFY SOCKS - The youth was so fussy that he refused to try on shoes without wearing his PINPRICK PREVENTING FLUFFY SOCKS, so the salesman's STABBING PINPRICKS OF COMPLIANCY SOLE didn't have the desired effect, in fact quite the opposite as it made the shoes feel even more uncomfortable.

MISS MANNERS DINNER TABLE MIST - Great Aunt Abigail despaired at the lack of manners of the younger generations, and failed to understand why their parents had never taught them to use the correct cutlery for each course, so lightly sprayed her formal dining room with MISS MANNERS DINNER TABLE MIST, which would ensure all generations would behave perfectly, and she could digest her delicious meal in peace, and not suffer from unpleasant dyspepsia caused by their agitating lack of manners.

[papermoon.lady]

DANCE, CUTLERY, DANCE - The kids were very smart and when they understood what Great Aunt Abigail had done, they secretly invented a remote control they hid under the impeccably white tablecloth that would nullify the effect of the MISS MANNERS DINNER TABLE MIST at the push of a button and create an exotic dance of forks, knives and spoons in the air, finally landing straight into the Great Aunt's carefully arranged ribboned hair.

I-GOT-YOU MAILBOX - Tired of posties and parcel contractors not doing their job and carding items when he was home, he invented a tiny robot with an extendable arm that he put in his mailbox, so that every time the infamous lie "sorry we missed you" was detected, the arm would extend out of the mailbox and get the postie or parcel contractor back until they did their job.

[countessalmirena]

MAILBOX-ARM-WRESTLING VEST ENHANCER - The postie was a smart one, all right; he'd been infamously carding people for years, and wasn't about to let that new invention of the I-GOT-YOU MAILBOX extendable arm stop him from avoiding parcel deliveries when it was just all too hard for him, and he prudently stole a MAILBOX-ARM-WESTLING VEST ENHANCER from one of the parcels he was supposed to deliver... which, when he wore it, would sense that extendable arm coming towards him, and would divert it by extending its own extendable arm from the best to arm-wrestle with the mailbox extendable arm, and because it was super-strength, it would easily win, and he could run off while the mailbox arm dangled uselessly in the afermath.

BAD WATCHER FRENZY BUYER CODE - The eBay seller mastertreasuresofexcellentwonderkerplunk was extremely put out by the number of watchers who never bought any of his "treasures", so he purchased some nasty code from an online coder, called BAD WATCHER FRENZY BUYER CODE, which he would send to every watcher of his items; this code was embedded in an offer to each watcher, and it would take over the watcher's eBay account and automatically bid frenziedly on thousands of items, resulting in multiple NPB reports and the expected consequences.

[veiled-lady]

EBAY CODE LOCATING BOTS - The BAD WATCHER FRENZY BUYER CODE was detected by the EBAY CODE LOCATING BOTS (one of the few times that particular system actually worked!), and so the watchers never received the messages, and the seller was given a one week suspension from selling.

LUDICROUS LYCRA LOOSENING SPRAY - He was completely over the MAMILs who frequented his neighbourhood coffee shop, so smuggled in a can of LUDICROUS LYCRA LOOSENING SPRAY, which would cause their ridiculously tight lycra suits to come loose and flop around on their middle-aged paunches, causing them to run out in an extremely embarrassed state, hopefully never to return.

[countessalmirena]

CORSET OF EXTREME PREJUDICE - The peroxided blonde woman instantly grabbed her CORSET OF EXTREME PREJUDICE from her exercise bag and sighed with relief as it automatically fit onto her body and dealt with those unsightly bulges.

HOLE OF GOLFING SHAME - Douglas hated his friend Nathan with a passion, for Nathan’s golf handicap was admirable… so Douglas rigged the penultimate hole with a mine that would blow up that wretched Nathan as soon as he nudged his ball into it.

[papermoon.lady]

ACAPELLA DETA - Nathan sensed what Douglas had concocted in his hateful little heart, so he acquired a bottle of DETA that quickly consumed the TNT contained in the mine with some unintelligible acapella sounds and whistles, so he could safely play golf again like before, now with a grin of satisfaction on his face.

FAKE DIET COLA - Knowing that her abusive husband suffered from a severe and rare form of diabetes, she injected the can of Diet Cola he had bought with sugar, chuckling while thinking of the consequences.

[countessalmirena]

SUGAR-BE-GONE STRAW - The husband lifted the can towards him and smelled the sugar; he beetled a threatening glance at his wife, grabbed a SUGAR-BE-GONE STRAW, and sipped the sugary drink with a snort of satisfaction as the sugar was molecularly changed via the straw.

KILLER DUVET SMOTHERER - His patience was at an end; his fifth wife kept on stealing the duvet in their bed while they slept so that he constantly woke up with freezing feet, legs, arms, chest, everything - so he bought a KILLER DUVET SMOTHERER which he programmed to smother his wife if she started the same duvet-stealing shenanigans that night.

[papermoon.lady]

HUG-ME DUVET - His wife was selfish, but not dumb, so when she noticed strange movements in the duvet, she understood what was going on, quietly left the bedroom with the duvet safely rolled up and changed it to warmly hug her instead of smothering her when she pulled it towards her. She even attached a tiny foot to the duvet that would kick her husband if he tried to steal the duvet back.

I-KNOW-IT-ALL HAT - When his wife started using make-up and perfume and changed her hair colour, he became increasingly suspicious of her, so he attached a tiny device to her frilly hat that would read her thoughts and also broadcast all her movements to his computer. He thought that in case she was indeed betraying him, he had the right to dispose of her, but first he wanted to be sure.

[countessalmirena]

TINFOIL FASCINATOR NET - The exasperated wife had lived through two years of hell with her increasingly paranoid and suspicious husband, and knew instantly that he’d messed with her beautiful frilly hat. She defiantly attached her TINFOIL FASCINATOR NET and donned the hat, knowing it would prevent the broadcasting of her thoughts… and she sent off a letter to the Dr Phil show; she couldn’t live like this anymore!

SATAY SKEWER MISSILE - The serial killer casually added a SATAY SKEWER MISSILE to the picnic barbecue, having set its target coordinates to the man with the frayed blue jeans and pink shorts. It would launch itself with two minutes…