Buyers sending offers

[curly*gecko]

Thoughts on potential buyers sending through offers via a message, when you don't have Best Offer option in your listing. Do you reply politely or ignore?

[countessalmirena]

One of these days, in an idle moment (and I have more of those at the moment than I want, what with yet another virus attacking me while I'm still dealing with two others plus whooping cough, so that I sound somewhwere an asthmatic steam engine and an alarmed goose who's undergone a tracheotomy), I may just amuse myself by writing the definitive Snarky Customer Service: The Customer Isn't Going To Be Right On MY Watch! book.

[digital*ghost]

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@countessalmirena wrote:

One of these days, in an idle moment (and I have more of those at the moment than I want, what with yet another virus attacking me while I'm still dealing with two others plus whooping cough, so that I sound somewhwere an asthmatic steam engine and an alarmed goose who's undergone a tracheotomy), I may just amuse myself by writing the definitive Snarky Customer Service: The Customer Isn't Going To Be Right On MY Watch! book.

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I would buy a copy, and petition to contribute, or maybe write a sequel, or companion book  (I'm not really all that witty, so it might end up just having to be a free photocopied brochure to give away, but I do [privately] entertain snarky replies à la Mad's 'Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions' series, lol).

Truth be told, the snark can creeep out of my mouth and / or typin' fingers over the pettiest of things if I don't reign it in with pre-composed messages  Take, for example, the bus driver I had this evening. I pushed the button to get off at the next stop, button didn't work. I got up and tried a different button across the aisle - also did not work, so I walked to the front of the bus and said "can I get the next stop, please?". Nearing the stop, he says "This one?".

I replied "yes, please". 

Then he goes, "it might help if you actually pressed the button".

I told him I had tried a couple, but they didn't work.

He said "they've been working fine so far".

Snark mode activated: Right, I couldn't be bothered pressing a button, and really came to the front of the bus to bask in your pleasant personality and get a chance you talk to your delightful self.

Spoiler

That's a lie, I just repeated the fact that I tried to press the buttons which didn't work, got off the bus, then stewed about it the entire walk home 

PS, Hope you feel better soon 

[brerrabbit585]

Don't forget the poor bloke has probably been dealing with idiots and nasty customers all day. He was probably at the point where he couldn't resist giving a snarky response.

I had a couple of questions this week that were really tempting. Both asked the size of something and I was tempted to ask why they thought I put a tape in all my pictures. Some buyers are unaware of the unnecessary work they put you to.

[purplemon18]

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@digital*ghost wrote:

Spoiler

That's a lie, I just repeated the fact that I tried to press the buttons which didn't work, got off the bus, then stewed about it the entire walk home 

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Exactly what I would do, Digi.

As for unsolicited offers, I usually just ignore them. If it's a reasonable offer as Curraone said, I may send a proper offer.

However, that is rare. As Brer said, people who ask for a discount seem to be more likely to cause me trouble down the road with a inr, inad, or other problems. I used to actually have make an offer on all my listings and turned it off. That should tell you something about how I feel about discounting.

Finally, if someone buys 2 or more items off me, they automatically get a discount anyway. Maybe as digi said, I should make a standard response that suggests they buy 2 items.

[digital*ghost]

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@brerrabbit585 wrote:
Don't forget the poor bloke has probably been dealing with idiots and nasty customers all day. He was probably at the point where he couldn't resist giving a snarky response.

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Yeah, but... I was nothing but polite and I can't see how it was any greater imposition for me to say "can I get the next stop, please" instead of ringing a bell. If I'd just demanded it, or said "yo - next stop, bee-yotch", I'd deserve a snarky reply.

Still stewing over it, maybe   

[brerrabbit585]

I once read an article, possibly in the Readers Digest but many years ago, where it talked about putting yourself in the other person's shoes and it gave an example of a bus driver getting what appeared to be a silly question. I can't remember the exact details but it said to remember that there could be all sorts of reasons why people ask the sorts of questions they do and a smart reply might just be the final straw for them.

I do agree that if you were polite there was no need for him to be so facetious. I probably would have replied that I've heard it said at many auctions that "it was going last time we used it". When he said "this one", I possibly would have jokingly said, "Yeah, I reckon this one is the next one."

He may have tested them at the end of his shift and found they weren't working, and have been embarrassed ever since. You should have said something about just having had surgery and maybe you weren't able to put enough pressure on it, to make him feel guilty. It wouldn't have worked if you were carrying a heavy basket - like the woman I've banned (she tells everyone about her crippled hands but then she spends the day cooking and sewing.

Edit:  You need to read Renew Your Mind by Chantal Hofstee.  It tells you how to cope with stress without getting stressed - FANTASTIC book!!!

[digital*ghost]

Thanks, I'll check out the book, although despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm generally a relatively relaxed person* (I swear, lol). I can have a flashy temper, but it usually takes a lot to trigger that - mostly, I delve into  privately stewing over anything that bugs me because it feeds the perennial fantasist (I can't write anymore, so winning imaginary arguments in the shower etc, or one-upping bus divers in my head is the cathartic antidote to that    ). It's mostly when people are illogical (to me) that this stuff gets triggered. If someone pushes in front of me while I'm waiting in line? I'll shrug it off, say nothing and not even think about it again. Someone assumes I didn't bother pushing a button for some unknown reason and walked all the way up to the front of the bus to request the next stop, then I'm the very image of Chan trying to figure out how / why they thought that 

*ok, sometimes I'm not, 'cause hand in hand with the imagination is the temptation to overthink and imagine worst possible outcomes, which occasionally snowballs when little things go wrong, the evidence of which can be found in a number of thread here   I basically took the  "Matters of great concern must be treated lightly. Matters of small concern should be treated seriously." quote from the Hagakure slightly out of context and sometimes too literally, lol, 'cos I'm often pretty nonchalant with things others take really seriously, but occasionally spend 3 days worrying about a package that hasn't had an update scan for 4 days, lol

Spoiler

Proper quote is "Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall there was this one: "Matters of great concern must be treated lightly." Master Ittei commented, "Matters of small concern should be treated seriously." Among one's affairs there should not be more than two or three matters of what one could call great concern. If these are deliberated upon during ordinary times, they can be understood. Thinking about things previously and then handling them lightly when the time comes is what this is all about. To face an event and solve it lightly is difficult if you are not resolved beforehand, and there will always be uncertainty in hitting your mark. However, if the foundation is laid previously, you can think of the saying, "Matters of great concern should be treated lightly," as your own basis for action.


While I don't always apply it, you can see it's the basis of the advice I often give to set policies for specific scenarios, write message templates to respond to customers etc

Sorry for the impromptu, introspective therapy post. 

[brerrabbit585]

It's often the little things that get to you. The book is actually about how to rewire your brain so you think differently and deal with emotions rather than suppress them or let them rule you. Having imaginary arguments is kind of suppressing the emotions - it's not moving on and leaving them behind. I'm not having a go at you, just trying to explain what the book says. I know you read a few self-help books and thought it might interest you. I wanted to buy myself a copy and I had a 10% discount from the book depository but it expired before I could find the energy to do anything about it. I wasn't keen on spending $26 so kept putting it off. I can only keep the library's copy for so long!

As far as stewing over a package that hasn't been scanned for 4 days, Dale Carnegie would say to ask yourself what's the worst possible thing that can happen and then work back from there.

[countessalmirena]

How it might play out...

I pushed the button to get off at the next stop, and - in keeping with the whole glitch-ridden day - the button didn't work. Oh well - I got up and tried a different button across the aisle - which also did not work. I thought longingly of the cup of tea I would make as soon as I got home, the heavy bag I'd drop onto the floor, and the increasingly uncomfortable shoes which I'd fling off, for the sheer bliss of bare feet on soft carpet.

I walked to the front of the bus to attract the bus driver's attention.

I said, "Can I get the next stop, please?"

The bus driver had a profile like that of a sardonic eagle. Long beaky nose, leathery skin, eyebrows that somehow shrieked bird of prey at me, a fine sort of noble contempt in the way he glared concentratedly at the road ahead. We were just nearing the stop I wanted, and he said emotionlessly, "This one?"

"Yes, please." Lapsang souchong, I thought. Another 20 minutes, and I'd be home. A low snort drew my attention back to the bus driver, whose sardonic eagle impression had grown even more marked as he turned slightly to examine me.

Then he said, "It might help if you actually pressed the button."

Don't snap, I thought. Remember what the Little Book of Calm says. When you rest, you are a king surveying your estate. Look at the woodland, the peacocks on the lawn. Be the king of your own calm kingdom.

I took a moment, breathed in, then gave a small smile. "I did try a couple; none of them worked."

He said, "They've been working fine so far." His tone suggested either disbelief or that I was an idiot.

My smile became slightly rigid. I tried inwardly counting to ten. It didn't work. Stuff the peacocks and the woodland. As soon as he stopped, I pressed the "open" button for the doors - thank God that this button worked - and put my hand firmly on the door, ready for a quick escape.

I let my smile expand, and locked my gaze firmly onto him. "Oh well, you've caught me out," I replied, my voice assuming an authoritative and matter-of-fact timbre. "I admit it. I am the Button Inspector. Failure of four or more buttons on a bus is grounds for instant pummelling, by the Pummeller-in-Chief. You're just lucky that this is my stop and I've had no time to press any more of your buttons. Adios - and next time I won't let you off with just a warning!"

I nimbly hopped off the bus and legged it for home. I'll never be able to use that particular bus again...

[curly*gecko]

Thanks for the feedback. I find the offer generally doesn't even come with a please!