Unfair negative

[mumscats]

I sold a football jumper on Saturday night.  I picked up the sale on Sunday and noticed that the people had asked me a question about the jumper which I didnt get until Sunday morning.  They had already purchased the jumper and I sent through an invoice and said they were welcome to pick up as they didnt live far from me.  They said they would come over and turned up with their daughter who would have been about 11 or 12 and the jumper I was selling was size 10.  They immediately said it was a size 8 when clearly it was size 10 marked on it.  They went about finding faults with the jumper picked this, picked that and they were buying secondhand and very cheaply at the price I sold it for.  They were very unreasonable and I honestly dont know what they expected.  I told them that if they didnt want it not to worry and we did the cancellation through Ebay.  I was annoyed that they had this attitude and sent them a note the other night to tell them to think about what they do and they sent back a nasty note and I replied again and then they gave me an unfair negative.  I went through the Ebay process to try and get the negative removed buy the buyer has declined.  I have left a positive but warning other sellers about them.  I am worried now whether I should try and sell again on Ebay and should close this account and just open a new one.  I have a feedback of 1439.  I have it private at the moment because I am so upset over this.  I dont have any ads on at the moment.  I did send the lady a nice email yesterday to ask her if she could remove the negative but she is so heartless.  This is a bad experience for me.  I dont know what to do.  I was good enough to let them come to my house, luckily I didnt let them into the house.  There is always someone out there who spoils it for people.

[xxstuckonstickersxx]

"OK I am sorry that I posted on this forum because I didnt expect the criticism that I am getting. "

Happens quite often I'm afraid, even I have been guilty of smart-aleckey (yeh I know its not a word!) 😉

I think its hard to read a whole thread of opinions different to your own, the natural reaction is to feel you're under attack. Sometimes people do post comments which seem to have the sole purpose of making people feel stupid, usually however, I think the MAJORITY are just trying to give tips and advice based on their experience.

Maybe because its the same advice they gave yesterday and again last week, it seems hostile due to the short'n'sweet nature of the post, when in fact they just wanna get the advice posted so they can move on and (hopefully) help someone else.

I don't know how hostile your messages to the buyer were, but generally people don't like to be "lectured", maybe thats the impression they got even if it wasn't your intention. If they wont revise the FB try ringing eBay, worth a shot

[koalablue12]

Too true childz, don't take it to heart mumscats, sometimes it is just a kneejerk reply and sometimes some posters (moi actually) just can not help themselves and can't let an opportunity go by to have a giggle. Most of us at some point in time have felt like 'RESPONDING IN KIND' but you have to bite the bullet, smile and cop it on the chin, all in the best interests of our next saleX-(

[phorum_junkie*]

They may have been the buyers from hell but that does not mean you should come down to their level.

I would have told them to either pay and take it or to just leave. If they left without it I would have opened an unpaid item dispute and closed it 4 days later then they would not have been able to leave feedback.

why on earth you would contact them again once they agreed to cancel i cannot imagine but I am not in the least surprised they then left you a neg.

You then go and compound it by violating policy by leaving a false pos in retaliation.

You say the neg feedback may be detrimental to your future selling activities, as a buyer it would be your retaliatory feedback that would have me hitting the back button.

if you have been on ebay for 11 years, not quite as long as me lol, then you should know better.

[freightcar2009]

HONESTLY!!!

I don't understand why some people post with a problem, and most times they are fair problems, but when are shown where they went wrong, get all defensive and aggressive or sooky because they have heard something they didn't like.

The point of a forum is to learn. It’s not to hear things about ourselves that make us feel all fuzzy and worm inside

.

The point is to find out what went wrong and how to fix it.

Sometimes we do things that inflame a situation ourselves. Once we realise we also have done something wrong we can then act on the advice and truly avoid the situation in future.

I am sure sometimes the advice I give will not be as good as I am hoping it would be, however even if I do give some bad advice, someone will jump on it and point all the faults in my thinking, in great detail......

 Wont they PJ?

The fact is this... when this happens, then the not so good advice becomes great advice because everyone a seen a bad argument and the flaws in it.

So please replace your glass jaw with something a little stronger and learn from some of the best eBay salespeople around.

They are giving you the benefit of years’ experience free.

[phorum_junkie*]

Wont they PJ?

They sure will lol 😉

[tom_leroy_and_alexs_dad]

Your feedback comment for your buyer has been removed. There is now a mark against your account. I really hope you can learn from this experience and avoid problems in the future.

[mindtoobusy]

mumscats - you were obviously upset about the buyer's behaviour/words when they picked up the item, and I can relate to feeling "cheesed off" with buyer's responses.  I imagine it would be hard to deal with comments face to face - I don't have pick-ups, so haven't had this experience.

As others have posted, best to put this behind you and learn from it.

I think there are some people who haven't a clue that they may have caused another person any upset in whatever the situation is, face to face, in an email, or on a forum.  Also there are those of us, who take things on board and react before thinking.

I'm not trying to lecture you in any way, as I used to be (and still am, at times),  the first one to react to people's rudeness, but one thing I have learnt by dealing on eBay and other life's experiences is that "stuff happens", and sometimes we need to take time out and think of the best way to act, before we react.

Also, we never know what is going on in the another person's life to cause them to act like they do.

I hope you can continue to sell successfully and put this behind you.

[typhoon4u]

 I was annoyed that they had this attitude and sent them a note the other night to tell them to think about what they do

How does that song go......"Throw another log on the fire...":^O

One of the first things I learnt on here was to NEVER write an email while angry or upset. ALWAYS be polite and proffesional.

typhoon4u

[mumscats]

I guess I probably was not thinking clearly the other night when I sent the buyer the message through Ebay.  I was upset and just wanted to put my point over that was all.  I havent been selling a lot of stuff on Ebay of late because I have been too busy and stuff is not selling particularly well at the moment.  It is a busy time of the year for me at work and I am under the pump a bit.  On top of all of this I had a hot water service which was never installed properly 13 years ago sink into the ground a few weeks ago and the cold water pipe burst and I had 2 rooms flooded so I live with boxes of stuff around me everywhere at the moment.  I am trying to get new carpet sorted out and that is a challenge as I am redoing the whole house, not getting anywhere with that at the moment as they are hard to deal with.   One thing crashed into the other.  I honestly never thought of the Ebay implications by sending the message to the people.  I know the rules but I havent come across this for a long time.  I didnt consider the email I sent vulgar in any way but it is the way people interpret things and I was never going to be in a win situation with these people. 

I might try and put some ads on and rebuild my confidence in selling again.  Just worried about the negative and how people will see it but my score is high so hopefully people can see beyond that.  I am not sure about pick ups any more but sometimes it is good to help people save a bit of money with postage.  I will just see.  At the moment, I am busy, flat and defeated and cluttered.

[freightcar2009]

I know a bloke who could help out with the carpet.... Shame you live so far away 😉

Just a little observation.... Putting a lot more pics of your products up, especially the used ones, would go a long way to helping the situation.... You need to mention every flaw you noticed and photograph so the buyer can't say you tried to sell a defective product or that you were trying to hide something.