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@shoppingbag*
I am an Australian Seller, and I always leave feedback as soon as I get payment. I consider this a matter of courtesy.
If your definition of online purchase courtesy includes the giving of feedback in this way, I can understand that you would feel peeved when buyers don't respond with feedback. But perhaps some of your buyers have a different definition of online transaction etiquette...? Perhaps, for whatever reason it may be, they don't provide feedback at all, and their definition of buyer courtesy is to give five stars once the item has arrived; perhaps they don't do that, but believe that the only courtesy required of them is to refrain from contacting you post-sale with a "Where is my item?" question, opening a case...? Perhaps, as some eBayers do believe, they too think that their part in the transaction ends when they've paid, and it would be smarmy overkill to give their seller feedback...? Or perhaps they don't respect the feedback system and believe that their positive or neutral would serve no purpose in the universe.
I would at any rate guess that your buyers don't intend to be rude. They are probably operating from a different perspective to yours. Feedback does seem to be regarded differently by different people - and feedback is not a universal system, so it cannot possibly be an intrinsic part of the definition of courtesy.
@shoppingbag*
They expect sellers to be mind readers and know that they have got their item and are happy with it.
I suspect most buyers think that absence of complaint is ipso facto sufficient notice of their having received their item within their expected timeframe, said item being sufficiently as described as to warrant no outrage. But I do understand that sellers like to feel sure that nothing catastrophic has occurred during the delivery process. If your delivery service is causing you this amount of stress so that you fear delivery failure to that extent, something is seriously amiss.
If you fear bad buyer behaviour rather than delivery failure, you may be selling items that attract a larger than normal number of reprehensible buyers - and in that case, if I were you, I think I would be contemplating selling items where I could absorb the cost of fully tracked and covered delivery - extra cover, signature on delivery, that sort of thing. Then you wouldn't need to worry about buyers giving you feedback just to let you know the item's been delivered.
@shoppingbag*
It is particularly worrying if the parcel has been "safe Dropped" I consider these buyers to be downright inconsiderate and rude.
I see your concern.
Hopefully the fact that once an item has been delivered (and I believe that the courier/postman must take a photo of the safe-dropped item now?), you as a seller will, I think, be covered in the event of a claim by the buyer may set your mind at ease.
I wouldn't consider buyers who don't give feedback once their parcel has been left as a Safe Drop 'downright inconsiderate' or 'rude'. They don't know your expectations and I'm sure they haven't purchased from you deliberately to antagonise you or make you feel disrespected. They would probably think that they've paid, the item's arrived, done deal.
@shoppingbag*A "thank you for your purchase", or "thank you I got my item" is not difficult, I just get the impression that some people are incapable of saying a simple "thank you"
I agree that thank yous oil the wheels of human interaction. Online manners are indeed not difficult. I'm just not of the same view as you in tying together a 'thank you' and giving eBay feedback.
For instance, I often contact sellers pre-sale or post-sale (being careful not to say anything that would jeopardise the seller's account by anything that could be misinterpreted by eBay bots), and those communications will as a rule include my thank you. There - I've been (in my world view and surely in your world view) courteous. But that doesn't provide the seller with feedback. If feedback and courtesy are inextricably tied together, surely the need for feedback to the seller would at that moment disappear...? But it doesn't, because these are (in my opinion) two separate things.
Conversely, I receive an email from eBay upon making a purchase. The very top line says in large font size, 'Thank you for your purchase' and addresses me by name. I receive another thank you (smaller font, second line) when the next email arrives, telling me that my 'order is on its way' (large font). If the seller were to send additional communications thanking me for my purchase and telling me that the order is on its way, it would make me feel that one simple order is resulting in far too much correspondence. (There was a time when the number of emails involved in one eBay transaction WAS overwhelming!)
When I purchase from other sellers, other sites online, in general the order confirmation and despatch confirmation (both including thank yous) are all that I receive. I think eBay's got that particular aspect of the purchase right at present.
So... , you seriously would not need (in my opinion) to give buyers an additional thank you for their purchase, either via feedback or by way of additional email. That is just my opinion, and it may be that your particular buyers do want or need that additional affirmation for therapeutic reasons, or have grown used to receiving it because they're buying things on eBay, etc. If so, then you are being a canny seller using feedback as a tool for keeping your buyers happy and coming back for further purchases.
But truly, honestly, do you need to think poorly of buyers who don't provide you with feedback? I know the point has been made many, many times that feedback is voluntary... In the end, do you not want good reliable buyers who don't open unjustified cases against you, rather than buyers who give feedback saying "Thank you, I have received my item, but it's yellow, not beige"...? (neutral or negative) or something to that effect? (But I do realise that in some cases sellers need feedback - and I do, as a buyer on eBay, give feedback as soon as I can when an item has arrived. I don't expatiate my personal behaviour re feedback to a universal standard against which I measure other eBay members.
Would this perhaps help you to be more relaxed with sales if they're currently making you feel tense?
