Why is the seller always at fault???

[ms_aussie]

Recently I had a buyer purchase one of my BIN items. I sent on invoice within 10 minutes after the purchase and then waited three days for payment. In the meantime I sent her a reminder.

On the third day I sent her an email explaining that if she didn't pay before day four I would be lodging a Non Paying Buyer dispute with eBay as I would need to recover the commission eBay had taken from me at point of sale. I also informed her what eBay would do if I launched such a dispute.

Well, to cut a long story short this woman wrote a very nasty email to me accusing me of being nasty??? It seems she had been called away to be with her son who was in hospital.

My questions are:

Why didn't she pay at point of sale? There was no need for me to send an invoice as postage was already entered on the listing.

Why is it that people think we can see what is happening witin their families? We don't possess a crystal ball!!!

SO ...

Yesterday I opened a case to cancel the transaction and I emalied the buyer to confirm that I had decided to take the lesser road in order to recoup the fvf. And I took the full blame so as not to antagonise her any further. I wrote that I simply put it down as an unfortunate misunderstanding and I apologised if I had upset her.

THEN ...

After I had lodged the Cancel Transaction case, eBay followed up with some advice about how to deal with customers. I felt bad enough without this little bit of condescending advice from them.

After 12 years on eBay without one negative feedback on my record, both as a buyer and a seller, wouldn't you expect eBay would maybe think that it may have been the buyer who was at fault???

Evidently not!  It seems that as far as eBay is concerned the seller is always the one in the wrong!!!

[davewil1964]

I fail to see where eBay has blamed you for anything.

As stated, it's all automated anyway, so nobody is looking at your record.

[i-love-my-sheep]

It surprises me how many sick and dying buyers are on ebay. The excuse for not paying always seems to involve someone or them being in hospital. Majority of people these days have access to smart phones, so being sick isn't an excuse in my eyes. I bet they can still find time to update their facebook status. I can just imagine someone going and doing their weekly shopping at Coles and when they go through the check out...."sorry, I can't pay because my nana just died". Buying online is no different to buying in a shop. If you walk out without paying, action will be taken. Call me harsh, but we are not a charity and we are not mind readers.

[englishrosegardens]

If you're in a b&m store and you get to the checkout and discover you can't pay, so you walk out without the goods, no action will be taken. That's a lot closer to online buying than your scenario.

Strange as it may seem, most of us have relatives who eventually die, so it's not surprising that it's the reason most given for slow payment. If my granny died suddenly and I was devastated with grief, paying for online goods would be the last thing on my mind. If I had to travel to get to her funeral and it was either spend the money on petrol to get there, or delay paying for my online purchases, I'm afraid I'd probably choose to attend the funeral.

I'm not sure what those of us without smart phones or access to public computers are supposed to do - go out and buy a smart phone just so we can communicate with a seller?

[davewil1964]

I haven't had a relative die for years. The last one was my grandmother about 5 years ago.

My father is 84 and has cancer, my mother is 80, so I suspect I might be an orphan in the next 20 years. The death of neither would stop me honouring MY commitments.

It really is down to that. You commit, you pay. Full stop.

[digital*ghost]

I think the main gripe is with buyers who BIN and then use the dead relative or some kind of emergency a week later - yes, that sort of thing happens, but I would be very interested to know how many times someone's received the news right after they've just bought an item on eBay, thus interrupting their payment. 

I understand and accept that someone with a family emergency isn't going to place a high priority on their eBay purchases, but if so, it stands to reason they're probably not going to place a high priority on taking issue or offence with a seller using the processes available to them to cancel the transaction and recover their fees, either - yet somehow, paying for the item is under the "meh" list, and reminding them they haven't paid is sometimes under the "how dare you do that when I'm in this situation" list. The only difference is buying the item affects the seller, not paying for the item affects the seller, opening a UPI suddenly affects the buyer and elicits a response.

IMHO, the closest comparison to a B&M situation when BIN'ing items and not paying for them is those people who see something they want in a store, hide it somewhere so no one else can find and buy it, then never come back - if it was just someone abandoning items at point of sale, the shopkeeper gets to put the stuff back on the shelf straight away, and the person who has to restock the shelves doesn't impose a temporary fee for having to do it (ie. sometimes sellers have to pay the FVF before they can go through and finalise the UPI case, not so bad for a cheap item, but pretty grating if the FVF is significant).

[ms_aussie]

Thanks Chooky. It seems you and I are like-minded when it comes to this. I have had two hospital emergency cases now but so far no deaths. We are NOT mind readers. Why is it that these people do not apologise for making us wait for payment. It's like we should have known what happened and we should not be irritated by their lack of communication at all ...

[davewil1964]

And I reiterate -

Where has eBay claimed you are at fault?