Manners do matter! - Why are some sellers so abrupt & rude in messages?

[redders_60]

This could go either on the seller or buyer board; But as I was the buyer I'll put it here.

Anyway; Fri night  I placed a bid on an item. I haven't really been on ebay since then (& have no mobile phone for the instant messaging stuff)

Today I logged in to get what I feel is a rude & abrupt message saying "Do you want this item? Pay by COB 5/6 or I will relist it" No Please; Hello; Kind regards, best wishes, have a great weekend, Thanks for your purchase, or whatever that I put in my messages to buyers.

Nothing that would entice me to buy more from this seller! - My first thought was actually 1 star for communication! I did pay as soon as I logged on to my computer mail (& then read that message on ebay & had second thoughts about the seller) Please bear in mind that this occured over this weekend & whilst I wasn't away; I was worried about my elderly Dad who was in hospital. (He's fine now!) Not everyone makes ebay their main priority on weekends!

More Importantly - Manners Do Matter! - Please when selling or buying treat the person as you would like to be treated & speak to them in messages as if you were face to face. Sometimes text messages come across as impolite; & then there is the whole thing of 4 or more days to pay by Ebay's rules! 

[redders_60]

Happy to be a phone dinosaur!  One of my adult kids gave me a little red Nokia & the charger some years back - they charged it up & put it in my handbag. It evidently had a new sim card & phone number (that I never knew or gave out). I forgot it was there until the same person reminded me some months later! By then it wouldn't recharge & the poor thing died a death of neglect!

The same child once game me a Tamagochi to mind - same result!  - I'm definitely not good with small devices!

[redders_60]

Sorry to reply to myself - but I just got another message from my "lovely" seller - "Will post tomorrow or Friday" - That was it! - So why the rush for payment when they were not in a hurry to post the item? Does she only have Mon; Wed & Fri on her calendar? In which case; As I paid midafternoon Sun PM - could it not have been packed & posted in Monday's mail? (It would have been here by now or tomorrow!)

Timeline is well over her stated 2 day handling time for post (4 suburbs away for same state postage & the sorting centre in between our addresses is a good one) The item is small & isn't a breakable & if not boxed then postage paid by me will be OTT for the item. 

I think I'm with Black Poppy & others (& also about to become very picky & cynical in my old age!) I've gone from downing communication stars to considering a neut or neg. I rarely leave those except for the very worst sellers! I'm just so over the abruptness of this seller.

[porcelain_dolls_by_me]

I am curious as to why, when one makes a purchase they seem to think they have the right to pay as and when they see fit?

Surely, once a purchase is made then unless their is a compelling reason to the do otherwise, one should make immediate payment.

Much more efficient all around.

That aside this thread is enlightening as it demonstrates how some buyers use feedback not as a genuine commentary about the transaction, rather an implement of revenge.

[redders_60]

Well Pdme_Dolls; If you have read the entire thread then you'd know I didn't know I'd won the auction for the item. For the  reasons I stated above. I therefore felt the seller somewhat to very rude in sending the abrupt message I recieved. It actually took me a few mins to work out what COB in their message meant! (I took it to mean Close Of Business) - which was most probably correct in my assumption.

Yes; I may have had a bad weekend (I don't like hospitals either!) But I did pay as soon as I got home & onto my computer. Does that make me a bad buyer or seller? I'm not asking for gold gilt wrapped parcels; Just a modicum of decorum & politeness from sellers; Proper packaging & posted within a timely manner (Especially when this type of scenario occurs!)

Make of that what you will! If a seller conducts themselves in a less than nice manner; Then it reflects on every seller on this platform. 

[fixnwear]

pdme_dolls, 

you are right, of course.

No one can be that naive to even think that negs are given for some altruistic reasons.

They are and always have been used as a bargaining tool and or a weapon if you like - to punish the seller and make the buyer feel instanly superior.

The only trouble and also a wasted effort these days is the fact that hardly anyone gives two hoots about f/back (and that inludes the ones on the receiving end) - as it's finally taken for what it is: Unsubstantiated and unchallenged statements - used for self gratifitaction.

Another words - a trully uselles guide  for the best part

I wander what the OP is going to do if her item is 100% perfect and as described?

But then again, finding even a tiniest fault is always easy - surely there is bound to be one there somewhere.

[redders_60]

Hi Fixnwear; I hope the item will be exactly as I hoped! Sadly the description was a tad short on details & 3 blurry pics do not an adequate descritpition make; So I took a chance on getting what I wanted. Silly me for doing that!? The seller has her money, which would be a good price for same or similar items, & hopefully I will get an item somewhat like what I wanted.

[fixnwear]

redders,

you are 100% right, of course.

That is always the ultimate end result, that one gets excatly what they wanted.

So lets hope that happens here.

But in this case, if the pics were not quite clear and you took the chance that it'll turn out just fine - and then it's not - you are solely responsible for that.

Seller has every right to list and photograph their items any way they can do it - some are better at it than others - while buyers have all the rights not to buy it if it's not to their liking.

If, in spite of the lousy pictures one still purcases the item with the "hope that it will be OK" - seller had very little to do with that decision and is balmeless.

That, of course is nothing to do with this seller's rudeness - but, unfortunately even that can't be said in f/back any more. Nothing at all personal, that would make a slur on the characher,  we can talk about the item and make comments, but once it crosses the line and gets personal - it gets removed. And quite rightly so.

[black*poppy]

Not sure I agree with you about sellers being blameless if items turn up and they are not as described because the buyer 'took a punt'.  Lousy pictures aren't an out or some kind of strategy to get away with selling s**t - that's a pretty big loophole if it were true.  Actually I would argue the reverse is true.

I also disagree that feedback has gone by the wayside.  I read thread after thread here and on facebook about unfair feedback, can I get this removed etc etc.  Also note the amount of advice on these boards along the lines of "did you check the seller's feedback before purchasing?....."  I also disagree that negs aren't altruistic.  Some negs clearly serve as warnings to other buyers; when you see a few neg statements along the same lines it's quite condemning. 

pdme_dolls - I also don't think feedback is just some kind implement of revenge.  The feedback I'm planning will be an honest reflection of the customer service I was offered.  I can't imagine treating buyers like that (or anyone actually, it's not like I have to make a special effort to be nice really)  and not receiving some consequences. Otheres should be warned. She needs to buck up and get some manners, maybe two glaring red dots will assist the process.

Also dolls, yes it's nice when buyers pay straight away but it's not a requirement unless you have instant payment.  In the actual world buyers get 8 days to pay, and I think it is nicely reciprocated in sellers' ability to extend handling times up to 10 days or whatever it is - or post 'whenever they see fit'.  I certainly never give sellers a hard time for not posting the next day, and I don't hassle my buyers for payment.  NEVER.  NEVER.   EVER.

Finally, I'm not planning to try and get a freebie, I was just saying that if the items have faults I won't let it slide like I usually do (within reason).  The few of times I've been outright refunded feels a bit like I stole it..  Hmmm.  One time I sent it back anyway at my cost.  Three times I've received dresses in such bad condition that I've had to throw them out.  One of those was covered in black mould.  That was appalling.  But because the seller was so nice I didn't leave a neg. 

But bad behaviour, that gets my wrath

[springyzone]

---

@fixnwear wrote:

Seller has every right to list and photograph their items any way they can do it - some are better at it than others - while buyers have all the rights not to buy it if it's not to their liking.

If, in spite of the lousy pictures one still purcases the item with the "hope that it will be OK" - seller had very little to do with that decision and is balmeless.

---

I don't agree with this. I understand not everyone is a great photographer but if a person is capable enough to list an ad and a photo, they are capable of writing a brief description and listing any faults.

I have a friend who, many years back, bought a mobile phone. The photo was blurry but the description was very long. It was basically a cut and paste from the phone site listing all the facts and figures about the phone.

When it arrived, it was covered inside with mould. A lot of it was badly scratched. Oh, and it didn't work.

She complained to the seller and his reply was too bad, you didn't ask if it worked or had mould so I didn't have to tell you.

But the ad description would have led a normal person to suppose they were getting a functional phone.

She eventually got her money back & returned the phone.

I expect obvious faults in items to be mentioned, whether the photo shows them clearly or not. I think ebay would expect that too of sellers.

[fixnwear]

springyzone,

of course you don't have to agree with me! 

None of you do (have to agree with me). Not even relevant, who does and who doesn't.

I was merely pointing out to the OP that since "she took a chance" on something that was aparently not clear - responsibility is hers. Taking a chance means exactly that - taking a chance.

We have no control over how any seller does their listing, we are not there, peering over their shoulder issuing directions on how we thing the listing should look like - and what Ebay expects is not even relevant. When Ebay themselves have anything to list and sell - they also can do the listings any way they see fit.

The only choice we all have in a case like that is not to buy the item or ask questions if we are interested enough to pursue it further.

Then, and only then, going by the seller's responses - we can rightfully complain afterwars if there are omissions or major differences in the item received.