Seller abusive after I opened a INAD dispute with ebay when he did not respond to it.

[swinnys1]

Okay today I opened a dispute after trying to deal with a seller and get him to respond to ebays process.

I bought a brand new never used monitor off of him.

When it arrived it contained only a monitor and base absolutely no cables no power adapter nothing.

I contacted him on the day I got the monitor and asked where the cables were. He said they were in the box.

I said they were not there he asked if box was sealed. I said it was he wanted to talk to Aus post that was fine with me. But I opened a thing with ebay not paypal to be safe.

I said if he could find the cables and missing bits all would be fine.

he said he would refund me if I returned the monitor.

I said I would return it if he paid all postage . He refused. I said it is not my error and would not pay postage.

He said ebay says I would have to pay. I have heard differently. I asked him more than once to sespond to the ebay dispute he didn't Ialso told him it was not with paypal. 

He claims I was rude and difficult to work with. He has 150 things of %100 feed back I have over 600 in %100.

Today time was up I escalated the claim and I copped a rather rude message.

What should I do?

If it was just a power cable I would not have worried but it was all cables.

[swinnys1]

Well I will still try to resolve this one last time.

Just had a chat with ebay. We are going to put claim on hold. Ebay is going to inform the seller of his rsponsibilities under ebay claims (it's different under paypal). He now has 5 days. If he offers a decent refund on postage all will be good, but, it has to be at least half of the return postage cost and a  full refund of the initial transaction.

I don't think he is aware of the changes that were made in November.

[mark.wooba]

Good show, stick up for yourself.

Some sellers who post here will try to make you back down or soft pedal the issue (a course of action that always benefits the seller), but I can tell you from personal experience that being vigorous and verbose in defending your rights is the much better way to go. Add all details clearly and grammatically to the claim. Make sure it's easy for the CSR to read. Present all relevant evidence. Call them if you think there is any ambiguity.

You have to ask yourself why so many sellers, not buyers, are advising unhappy buyers in this forum. You'll get told never to leave negative feedback, to give the seller every possible chance, to bend over backwards. I believe that some of the sellers posting that sort of advice here are thinking of the many buyers that read the threads here. They are trying to create an atmosphere here where buyers feel somewhat intimated to stand up for their rights. So again, it's BUYER BEWARE, even here on this forum!

[digital*ghost]

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@mark.wooba wrote:

You have to ask yourself why so many sellers, not buyers, are advising unhappy buyers in this forum. You'll get told never to leave negative feedback, to give the seller every possible chance, to bend over backwards. I believe that some of the sellers posting that sort of advice here are thinking of the many buyers that read the threads here. They are trying to create an atmosphere here where buyers feel somewhat intimated to stand up for their rights. So again, it's BUYER BEWARE, even here on this forum!

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I have never seen even the most fervent of seller advocates do anything of the kind, and I've been around these forums a lot longer than you. 

There are so many sellers here because, in general, they are the ones who are always on eBay and have the most opportunity to come here and provide information, advice and - quite obviously - opinion. 

Further to that, the majority of sellers who are, shall we say, forum-inclined, are also buyers. Sure, at times it gets easy to look at a situation more from a seller's perspective than a buyer's, but most sellers fully understand both. It's rare for a buyer-only to understand the seller's perspective, or the impact of some of their actions (and even of those that do, not all of them care). The attempt to highlight a seller's perspective is an attempt to broaden someone's understanding of their own actions. 

Seller's - at least none that I know of - do not want to create an atmosphere where buyer's feel intimidated, they're actually 100% sick of the buyer vs seller mentality and atmosphere and try to advise open, honest and polite communication to try and combat that - it doesn't equate to a buyer giving a seller every chance or having to bend over backwards, and no one here has said anything even remotely like that. 

You know, it's possible to support a member in this obviously undesirable situation with a seemingly undesirable seller without putting blanket generalisations / insults out there of sellers / forum members. 

Your comments are incorrect, unnecessary, adversarial (perpetuates the "buyer vs seller" mentality) and therefore offensive. 

[mark.wooba]

I call it like I see it.

I've been abused here for a 3% rate of negative feedbacks (all of which were thoroughly deserved by the sellers involved).

I've been told that it's much more normal to leave no negative feedbacks at all.

That's outright intimidation, aimed at modifying buyers' behaviour. Any buyer reading that will be intimidated and cowed.

[digital*ghost]

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@mark.wooba wrote:

I call it like I see it.

I've been abused here for a 3% rate of negative feedbacks (all of which were thoroughly deserved by the sellers involved).

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That's your experience in a different thread. (One thread, mind you, out of the many thousands that are here, and by two posters out of the many thousands that post). 

It reminds me of the kind of seller who has one bad experience with a buyer and comes to the forum saying all buyers are scammers, when (of course) they are not.

The intention of most sellers when they try to advise a buyer is to get the issue resolved quickly and amicably, while noting that it's usually less effective to counter-productive to come out swinging, but if a buyer is getting nowhere with a seller, no one here ever says "keep trying", they advise what their practical options are, including opening / escalating disputes. 

[mark.wooba]

Yes, true, it's only my experience, and I make that clear. YMMV

Note that I use the word "some" sellers. I am not referring to you.

[digital*ghost]

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@mark.wooba wrote:

Yes, true, it's only my experience, and I make that clear. YMMV

Note that I use the word "some" sellers. I am not referring to you.

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I understand that, but aside from the points I made in my first post, I just didn't see the comments as in any way necessary for, or applicable to, this thread. 

Either way, I hope the OP has a successful outcome.

[black*poppy]

Agree with all that DG has said above, practical and unbiased as always.

With this issue, I advised on another thread about this transaction to negotiate with the seller about a partial refund to replace the missing cable and screw (really easy to get cheap parts) as this could be more cost-effective and easier for both parties IMO.

Now it comes out that the monitor isn't new and is in fact a different model, and the seller isn't being helpful to rectify the issue. So absolutely, MBG is there to help and the buyer should take advantage.

>>>BTW I am a MUCH bigger buyer than seller. It's much easier to see both sides when you do both.  Why it might seem more biased towards sellers on the forums is that sellers carry far more risk, and buyers don't always understand what damage they can carelessly inflict.  Experienced posters are often encourage buyers to take a breath and put the situation in perspective/understand what might be going on better before lashing out with negs etc.  

The amount of times I see a seller's reputation severely compromised over negligable transaction amounts or petty non-problems is infuriating.

[k1ooo-slr-sales]

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@mark.wooba wrote:

I call it like I see it.

I've been abused here for a 3% rate of negative feedbacks (all of which were thoroughly deserved by the sellers involved).

I've been told that it's much more normal to leave no negative feedbacks at all.

That's outright intimidation, aimed at modifying buyers' behaviour. Any buyer reading that will be intimidated and cowed.

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I can't find any threads or posts where you were abused for a 3% neg leave rate, nor can I find any thread or post where you were told that it is more normal to leave no negatives at all.  Happy to be proved wrong on this.

What I did find was one of my replies to a post of yours that challenged your guess that a 3% neg leave rate was typical for buyers.  Here it is:

I don't see any intimidation there either.  Letting you know my buying and feedback leave history was a point of contrast to your experience rather than abuse or intimidation.

For the record, the sellers that I chose to not leave feedback for did not deserve negatives or neutrals.  One that readily comes to mind is a seller who messaged me and told me (IN CAPS) that my feedback for them was imperative for their seller reputation and that I should leave +ve feedback for them.  Hardly worthy of a neg or neutral, but I didn't like being told that I should leave feedback since leaving feedback is voluntary, so I exercised my right to not add to their positive count.  Others have been cases where I received a refund for an item, and I didn't feel a negative or neutral was appropriate and I exercised my right to leave no feedback.

Spoiler

although I have sold on this and other IDs, I consider myself primarily a buyer.  I post on the boards as an eBayer, not a buyer or a seller.

[mark.wooba]

You've had as many buys as me (over 750)  and never had cause to leave a negative? That's pure, unadulterated bullçrap right there.

Anyone reading my gift card thread can see the abuse and snide suggestions that I'm some sort of problematic buyer for leaving any sort of negative feedback, and even for starting the thread. You were one of the abusers. I'm not surprised that you see yourself in a heroic light though.