Cat_mioux's new home

[cat_mioux]

:^O

[chuk_77]

thanks flannie
just got stuck into kitchen packing, taking what i came here with, I feel sick now and the kitchen is already resembling a bachelor pad again. And I've only packed the non essentials. But have worked out all I need to buy in the way of kitchen stuff when I get my own place is glasses and a fridge looks like I've got everything else. But I do have a wine fridge so that could get me by for a while
Can't do anymore now it drained me. And can someone please tell me why am I worrying about leaving him with no microwave? And if someone can also tell me who bought the little cooker and soda stream that would be good. I can't remember.
Going to go clean out my screeching lorri

[my2cuddlycats_not]

Can't tell you anything, apart from I am thinking of you and sending you all the cyber hugs you can bear. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[Anonymous]

:^O can't help you with who brought the little cooker or the soda stream chuk ..take the best one lol..
good you are keeping busy ..

hi my2 ~~

[chuk_77]

When he went out he told me he has his phone so if I need him to call and he'll come back.
would it be bad to call and tell him i want to kiss him and see if he comes home?

[buzzlightyearsgirlfriend]

would it be bad to call and tell him i want to kiss him and see if he comes home?

I reckon that would be a bad decision.

[fiestas*girl]

i reckon you are right there Buzz

[jack*in*a*box]

I'm really sad to hear that you are going through this Chuk.

No, don't ring him or message him. It's really hard not to but I think it sends him the wrong message if you do.

It must be hard knowing you still share a place whilst he is carrying on with his social life like nothing has happened. That is down right nasty IMO.

((hugs))

[Anonymous]

When he went out he told me he has his phone so if I need him to call and he'll come back.
would it be bad to call and tell him i want to kiss him and see if he comes home?

agree with buzz,fiesta and crazy ..
try not to ,he might come home early anyway to see how you are
If you call you will never know.
give him his space ,i know its hard ,let him see your a strong woman..iykwim.

[lind9650]

Chuk, you asked me to tell you what I would do, so here goes, for whatever it is worth.

First of all the_great_she_elephant has given you some wonderful suggestions to follow. Some of them would have been in my answer, but I won't repeat them.

What I ask myself is how would I react if my best friend and partner suddenly displayed weird behaviour.
Yes, I would be hurt and confused, but not being sure what caused it and believing there is no other woman involved, I would think of medical causes.
Would I leave so quickly just because he wanted space? (He did not tell you to pack up and go? He has not been violent towards you?)
Would I bide my time to see what mental or physical problem is causing this change?
Yes, I would bite my togue about the hurt and ask him to seek medical help before making rash descissions. There could be deep depression caused by chronic pain, but there could also be an underlaying cause like cerebeal hemorrages or a brain tumour that only thorough examinations can reveal. I would stand by him as a friend and the person I love so much. Help him get better and then see what the final verdict will be regarding separation.

Just walking out on him while he seems to be in danger of himself and in need of help, would sit on my concience for the rest of my life, and I would be forever asking; "What if?"

Sorry Chuk, but I am of the old School. For richer or poorer, for good and for bad, in sickness and in health. etc.
I know you are not married on paper, but having been best friends for nine years and living together for more than 10 years is as good as married in my eyes. That is 20 years of your life together. You should know him better than anyone and know what kind of behaviour of his is not normal.

This is only my own opinion and my reaction. Everyone has a different personality and reacts with different emotions.
Listen to everyone. Find what is closest to your personality and the things you can cope with best. Just don't rush headlong in to a new stressful situation. You have enough on your plate at the moment as it is.

Great big hugs to you and all my best wishes.
You deserve much happiness and it will come to you sooner than expected.

Erica :-x

[cynthecowgirl]

If he truly has depression then he won't be himself and even if he does seek treatment he won't begin to feel like himself for a long, long time.

Don't be surprised if you end up with some form of reactionary depression yourself too. So be alert for the signs and get help if you need it.

If he won't seek help then there's nothing you can do. Same way you can't make an alcoholic give up the drink, or a smoker give up the fags, or get a fat person lose weight. It's up to the individual to take the first step. But that's their choice, not yours, so don't let their problem become yours, because it's not. It's theirs.

If he does have depression, and unless you've been there yourself it is so hard to understand, he will need time and space. He'll ask for your help if he needs it. So let him know you'll be there for him down the track if he needs you, but for now the best thing you can do for yourself, your health and your sanity is to walk away and leave him to it. The old saying if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't then it never was comes to mind.

You need to concentrate on you. It's hard when every thought in your head is about him, but trust me, in time, it does get easier to do.

So many of us here have plonked ourselves down and curled up in a ball and howled and howled and howled thinking our life was over. But hey, have a look at us, we're still here. I'm not saying any of our lives are easy, some days I'd have to say mine is f ing shi t, but I now know to give into the carp days and hang on in there coz tomorrow will be better and who knows what the future holds?

I once read some wise words and from rough memory they went something like this. When we're on a train and the journey we'd planned is interrupted by the train stopping does everybody suddenly just get off the train and walk away and not complete your journey?
No, we have patience and we wait. I'ts not what we'd planned and it's a damned nuisance, but you sit there knowing that eventually the train will start again and in time, maybe it'll take longer than you'd expected, but in time, you'll reach your destination.

This may not be the journey you were expecting, but have some patience and give yourself some time and trust me, before you know it you will be on your way once again to your destination.