Divorce

[dynogrl]

Not sure if anyone remembers.....  thought I'd do an update anyway.

I haven't been on the boards for a long while, just a lurk or two everynow and then...

I ended my 24 year marriage June last year and finally had my divorce granted last week....less than a month and it will be absolute!

It's been a hard 16 months but I finally got here and couldn't be happier...can't say the same for the ex LOL, he's a sad sorry mess that isn't working and is homeless 

[*pepe]

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@freddie*rooster wrote:

I'm not berating Dyno, I wish her all the best. I don't know what her life has been like with her OH, but I can't help but feel sad for him, sad because he refuses help.  That's just me, I guess.

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not just you freddie.

[*pepe]

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@dynogrl wrote:
My apologies, I was unaware you knew my thoughts better than I do... I must be a sad little woman then, best I pull my head in

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i responded to your words based on how i read them, no amount of pouting is going to alter that.

in this big wide world not evryone is going to pee in your pocket and tell you how wonderful you are.

nowhere did i even presume to know your thoughts.

[freddie*rooster]

That makes 2 with a

[dynogrl]

I was sad for him....and part of me is still sad. More sad for my kids. They deserve better. He just sucks people dry and I'm very much done and my kids are heading that way too. There is only so much you can give before you give up. He is a massive liar and my girls are aware of this. That's what makes me sad. His family has tried to help....even I have. I've allowed him to use my house (while I'm away) so he can connect with the girls....I've called up different services to try and get him help (passed onto my daughter so it appears it came from her) but he just abused that privilege so NO more.

[dynogrl]

well ya did pepe....you assumed an awful lot on very little.
but that's ok. I got my big girl panties on

[*pepe]

i simply said how your words were coming across to me.

[jean2579]

Dyno, I really do know where you are coming from. I have lived with the same situation for almost 50 years. It is a terrible choice to make, do I stay and support my Partner, do I leave and try to make a new life, how will the children be impacted whichever decision I personally make. I made the opposite choice to you, but that does not necesarily mean that it was the right one, If I was at your stage of life and marriage now, I honestly don't know if I would make a different decision.

Whichever way you go, you are dammed if you do or dammed if you don't.

I truly hope that your life is better now and that your ex gets the help that he needs.

Don't worry too much about the kids, they are incredibly strong and regardless will make their own way in life.

I hope that this makes some sense.

[dynogrl]

thanks Jean..... yes it was a terrible decision to make, but at the same time a very easy one. I knew the longer I left it the more likely I was to become his carer and that's not the life I wanted. I certainly didn't get married all those years ago thinking I would get divorced. Ultimately he made the decision very easy for me...the things he did to us were inexcusable....mental illness or not

[buzzlightyearsgirlfriend]

Dyno there is only so much a person can do for another person.

If you spend your entire life trying to help someone in denial then you are just denying your own life.  You did the only thing left for you to do. 

[freshwater-2]

I agree with you 100% Buzz.    Also, the children will be making their own way in the world in time, making their own new lives,  and leave all this behind them.

Dyno has left her life of misery behind her now.  How she took it for so long is beyond me.

She has my admiration.