Do you ever find yourself at a loss?

[softail-joanie]

There's some things going on, now, this very night, for a couple of days now, that I just don't quite know how to deal with. When I go for help, I find myself invisible in a sea of maddness all around me. Madness that possibilly overshadows little invisible me.

I think maybe I should leave the shelter, take a gamble on having enough gas to get back to the camper down south.

Also, i'm laying in something that has been put into my bed I think, maybe. Being here, I have lost my food benifits. I need to go back and re apply down there where I was, or apply up here and I don't know, I doubt I can stay at this place another night.

anyone?

[Anonymous]

do you have any family 

or friends?  

[softail-joanie]

I left the shelter and stayed in my car until the Y opened and am here at the Y now. the staff and security, They wasn't taking me serious, until I was attacked. She took the hair clip out of my hair, I asked for it back, she threw it at me hitting me with it, I thanked her for well, kinda giving it back, she started to walk away then turned and came right at me punching, first in my face I leaned up against the lockers and dropped down too the floor and then she started kicking me until someone came over and drew her away. Im not hurt, not phisically anyhow. I just was afraid that if I tried to defend myself, I would incur criminal charges. Porobiblly would anyway.

I left because I thought the police were going to be called. Dad is sending me some money for gas to come back down there. Dad will have his "i told you so" moment. Should be here in a couple of days.

[biglolcat]

Your local ER is a good place to hang, joanie.

What state are you in?

[biglolcat]

You're in the US?

[biglolcat]

"I left because I thought the police were going to be called..."

Wait...

What?

So you're posting from your phone...

[softail-joanie]

No i'm posting from the Y's internet on my laptop.

[softail-joanie]

i made it back here to the camper, man is it cold. They won't allow me back at the shelter, now saying it was my fault and I wasn't attacked.

[happyroo_bunji]

IMO leaving the shelter was a bad idea.  Makes you look guilty

[softail-joanie]

i paniced when they called the police, they would have wanted me to talk to them. imagine being raped, repetedly by a group of those who seem to get away with it every time,, then expected to talk to your rapists..

they don't understand this at the shelter, they don't want to even try to consider why i cant handle being near or talking to police.the only one who even came close to understanding it was Bella Blue, a councler at Shawnee, she claimed to believe me, but she is no longer there at Shawnee, she transfered to Cleveland. Maybe I should try to get into a shelter there and look her up.

I need someone to believe that i did nothing at the shelter to set this woman off against me, that i stayed over on my bed, when she came over to me, i tried to be nice, but i didn't want to give her my laptop, i wasn't worried she might steal it, i was more worried that she might throw it on the floor and break it like she lated did with my hair clip when i asked for it back. I could tell she wasn't fully right in the head, i grew up around my uncle who had autisim and could see some of those traits in her. also there had been others complain about her taking their things in past days.

Even though she hit and kicked me, I would not have chosen to kick her out, they did that on their own, i made no complaint against her and didn't want to get her in trouble, I honestly think she didn't know any better, and should be in a place that might take whatever condision she has into consideration. Thiis not the woman across from me, not the same woman who was doing and saying all those vendictive and vulgar things. But she might have been put up to this from that other woman i'm thinking.

i can't believe they are saying i wasn't attacked and left on my own now, they say because there arent bruses or marks on my face, i was not hit.

in 2008, i was attacked much in the same way, by two drug crazed teens, i never fought back, and was arrested, charged with two counts of assault and domestic violence, no convictions, case was dismissed. still a week in mens jail with no clothing, because according to them i had no business wearing the wrong underwear, only a rug.

i had to leave before the police came, i knew they were coming for me and i knew they would do the same as before

[harley_babes_hoard]

sounds like a rather complex story