Domestic Violence

[grandmoon]

Prime Minister Tony Abbott says he believes a meeting between federal, state and territory leaders is the best forum to tackle domestic violence.

His comment follows a call by Opposition Leader Bill Shorten in January for a national crisis summit on the issue so survivors, police, child protection officers, women's shelter staff, judges and federal, state and territory leaders could devise a national plan.

Seventeen in every 100 Australian women has faced violence from a current or previous partner, and on average one is killed each week.

"It's a national disgrace," Mr Shorten told reporters in Canberra.

What do you think needs to see changed ??

[lyne-flyn]

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@gleee58 wrote:

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@lyne-flyn wrote:

I was a witness to her goading once, all her husband was doing was sitting on the sofa watching tv, it was 11.30 on a Sunday night, she wanted to go out and kept nagging him, telling him he was lazy, selfish and only thought of himself. He ignored her but she just got more and more insulting telling him he wasn't a man and that real men took their wives out whenever they wanted to go. This goading was accompanied by pokes to the chest, slaps on his arms and finally a punch to his head.

Society would judge him as being abusive because he hit her but she threw the first punch and later when I asked why she had pushed him until he hit her she said...I love getting him all riled up,it makes me feel good.

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Some in society would judge him that way. others would want the whole story, others would not judge either way.

A few cases people know of doesn't equate to the problem being of equal proportion of men to women.  If it was there would be a list of dead men along side the list of dead women.  

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You got the whole story...and believe me it wasn't the first time it had happened, she would pull the same sort of stunt whenever she had an audience...he eventually left her and she soon found out that we were all wise to her when she started telling everyone what a so and so he was because he left her, she was genuinely amazed when people told her that if she had treated them the way she did him they too would have slapped her.

She honestly thought that her behaviour was perfectly acceptable.

[nevynreally]

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@gleee58 wrote:

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@nevynreally wrote:

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@gleee58 wrote:

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@vicr3000 wrote:

I was agreeing with you.

I just provided one example because it backed up my 3rd scenario, she killed husband because he abused her,

and since you asked for examples.

Their was another celebrated case 10 years ago, woman killed husband for I THINK the same reasons.

I only have met one other and she was up NT way, was delivering food and she was a very quiet, slight of a woman,

very appreciative that I carried the food into the house. I asked afterwards what her story was. She had just got out of jail,

4 years for kiling her husband !!!

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Most of the cases I've read or heard about where the women have killed their partner it has been after many years of exrteme violence and it's been the threat of futher harm to the children that has caused the eventual final act.  It must be a horrendous existance to feel trapped in such a situation.

Btw, I didn't ever say it was a competition.  Violence has no place in a civilized society.  

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You basically did say it's a competition.  There is no gender in domestic violence. Men can suffer with it for years too. And how trapped would they feel? Knowing the courts would take the mothers side, and they might not get to see their kids until they're 18. Nothing is black and white. Nobody get a free pass in life. 

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I don't agree that's it's a competition and I've known men who've had serious issues with women, just not in the same way asthe women.  A friend spent a couple of years fighting for access to his daughter and he ended up with custody because the woman told too many lies and was deemed unfit to parent because of her issues with the truth, alcohol and drugs.  

We spent years living in a cul de sac where the single father families outnumbered the rest.  It was a great environment for the children.

There was one single female parent. She was removed by the police a day before her ex arrived to kill her.  When he arrived during the night and they were not home he broke in and killed the child's pets.  

Of the 4 men, 3 said their exes were crazy and would lash out but they each moved out and the kids moved with them.  The kids would occassionally see their mother but not often.   They were all much closer to their fathers.   We're almost all still good friends. They've since found other women, without the crazy issues, and developed new relationships.  

There wasn't the sheer terror present in their day to day lives that I've seen in women who've escaped domestic violence.  Although hurt, they each sought out support services and got on with their lives.   They didn't live in fear of being found and hurt or killed.

I'll call BS on that scenario. No one lives in an area where there are mainly fathers caring for their kids. It doesn't exist.

[grace.under.water]

That's so true. I see couples out in public and if I was a man and was spoken to the way some of these men are.... these women nit-pick and nag and winge and stamp their feet until they ellicit the reaction they want. The best way to irritate a woman is to keep your cool and let her do all the fuming. Don't take it on and it will totally enrage her.

[gleee58]

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@lyne-flyn wrote:

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@gleee58 wrote:

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@lyne-flyn wrote:

I was a witness to her goading once, all her husband was doing was sitting on the sofa watching tv, it was 11.30 on a Sunday night, she wanted to go out and kept nagging him, telling him he was lazy, selfish and only thought of himself. He ignored her but she just got more and more insulting telling him he wasn't a man and that real men took their wives out whenever they wanted to go. This goading was accompanied by pokes to the chest, slaps on his arms and finally a punch to his head.

Society would judge him as being abusive because he hit her but she threw the first punch and later when I asked why she had pushed him until he hit her she said...I love getting him all riled up,it makes me feel good.

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Some in society would judge him that way. others would want the whole story, others would not judge either way.

A few cases people know of doesn't equate to the problem being of equal proportion of men to women.  If it was there would be a list of dead men along side the list of dead women.  

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You got the whole story...and believe me it wasn't the first time it had happened, she would pull the same sort of stunt whenever she had an audience...he eventually left her and she soon found out that we were all wise to her when she started telling everyone what a so and so he was because he left her, she was genuinely amazed when people told her that if she had treated them the way she did him they too would have slapped her.

She honestly thought that her behaviour was perfectly acceptable.

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I didn't say it wasn't the whole story or that I didn't believe it.  All I said is that it is different.  

I agree that there are some nutty women out there who do their best to provoke a fight and do poke and prod and hassle and annoy.  Some of them are brought up with some very warped values and expectations.  I don't know if you saw the Hancock movie but Rose came across exactly like that. Totally self absorbed and of the opinion that they can pick any fight they want, then give a bit of sex and all is forgotten.  

One I know like that used to say she was putting on her face when she put on make up and she flatly refused to me seen in public without makeup.  Not even to go to corner store for milk.  She said her mother had trained her to be that way.  Taught her how to catch a man instead of how to find a job.  It was an absolutely alien concept to me.   I'd never heard of anything so ridiculous before I met that friend of my sister.

We, as a society, need to provide support for both genders and should all stand for no violence against anyone.

Btw, your friend must have been so relieved to eventually get away from the bad wife and I hope he found someone nice to keep him company some time later.

[grace.under.water]

He did find somebody nice - another man!!!!!

[vicr3000]

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@lyne-flyn wrote:

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You got the whole story...and believe me it wasn't the first time it had happened, she would pull the same sort of stunt whenever she had an audience...he eventually left her and she soon found out that we were all wise to her when she started telling everyone what a so and so he was because he left her, she was genuinely amazed when people told her that if she had treated them the way she did him they too would have slapped her.

She honestly thought that her behaviour was perfectly acceptable.

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I never thought I'd see it written but am glad some other people call a spade a spade and told her exactly what was what.

[polksaladallie]

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@grace.under.water wrote:

I do wish domestic violence against men was concentrated on more in both the media and the public psyche: statistics are unreliable as most men who are victims of abuse perpetrated by female partners feel shame and almost never contact authorities. It wouldn't surprise me if just as many men are abused by females as the other way around, in fact more so.

It seems quite alright in our society if a woman retaliates against a man who is beating her - in fact, most women on this forum and elsewhere would not mind at all if the abused female killed her attacker. And yet, should a man of equal size, weight and strength hit a woman back after she attacks him, all hell breaks loose.

Double standard IMO...

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What absolute BS.

While I do not have the stats, more men would be assaulted in a domestic situation by their male partners than by women partners.

[polksaladallie]

With the exception of the words of one poster, there is so much BS on this page.

It is appalling to think that fellow Australians have this bloodthirsty attitude.  No wonder there is so much DV.

[village_person]

Domestic Violence

Shouldn't this topic be on Tommy's joke page?

[grace.under.water]

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@polksaladallie wrote:

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@grace.under.water wrote:

I do wish domestic violence against men was concentrated on more in both the media and the public psyche: statistics are unreliable as most men who are victims of abuse perpetrated by female partners feel shame and almost never contact authorities. It wouldn't surprise me if just as many men are abused by females as the other way around, in fact more so.

It seems quite alright in our society if a woman retaliates against a man who is beating her - in fact, most women on this forum and elsewhere would not mind at all if the abused female killed her attacker. And yet, should a man of equal size, weight and strength hit a woman back after she attacks him, all hell breaks loose.

Double standard IMO...

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What absolute BS.

While I do not have the stats, more men would be assaulted in a domestic situation by their male partners than by women partners.

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The only BS is in your posts - and it is absolute. You are wrong on almost every point your make, so why would this topic be any different for you?