Has anyone been hurt by a best friend?

[helenjoy1]

Im reaching out to any females on this board for advice my what do you do when your best friend hurts you in a way that you cant think past it. I cant go into details as it will be a scroller netherless to say i havent been able to stop crying since yesterday while i know shes out having a great weekend.

We are both  in our 40s so not stupid teenagers i thought we would be friends for ever but it was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak i will miss her friendship doing all the girly things we did together as its harder to make friends when you get older.

Any advice is welcome

[serendipityricho]

Hi Helen..hope you can sort out the problem with your..bestie

Im not much help-blokes seem to sort things out in different ways.

I find a few hints from someone that knows both folks can help-good luck...........Richo.

[azureline**]

No, never.

My best friend of 40 years ago did surprise me once with the comment that my children were not as good looking as hers. I looked at her, expecting it was a joke....................... apparently it wasn't.

[helenjoy1]

Thanks all I will try and get together with her next week in person so how that goes

[helenjoy1]

Sorry typos meant to say I will see how it goes

[purple_haize]

One friend I had, we were both single mums with kids, and we spent alot of time together, we use to help each other, if one washer was on the blink, the other would do their washing, we were really close..did so many things together, we were like sisters......then after a holiday together overseas, we had a good time, that was it, she didnt want to know me, after 20yrs.

It hurt like hell, but I decided, she wasnt worth it, even though we shared so much, it took time to forget her, eventually I did.

[opmania]

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@helenjoy1 wrote:
Thanks all I will try and get together with her next week in person so how that goes

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my daughter has recently made a very good friend at the school where both of their girls have just started

she was so excited about it because her best friend had moved away about a year ago and she didn't see her much anymore

around three months into the friendship,I suppose because she was feeling comfortable she started swearing like a trooper.

Not my daughter , the other woman

So my daughter sent her a message {although I thought it would be better to her face }

basically saying that she didn't approve of her swearing around her small children

Anyway having been messaging each other non stop the phones went silent

after about a week or two of uncomfortable meetings in the school yard they patched it up

and they are very good friends again without the swearing 

[lurker172602]

Yes Helen, about 18 months ago I was very hurt by something a close friend did. Apparently I had inadvertently done something to upset her first. It took a long time and several painful conversations to get back to somewhere near what we had before. I'll admit we still both have some trust issues with each other, and things aren't as easy going as they used to be, but we're getting there.

Give yourself a couple of days to calm down, then try to have a conversation with her about what happened. And (without knowing or suggesting anything about your particular situation) be prepared to be confronted with some things you don't expect to hear.

[katymatey*]

I suppose it depends on whether it was deliberate or not. In my teenage years a good friend acted in a way I felt to be a betrayal of our friendship. She did something to get into another group, and turned on me to achieve it. She obviously felt guilty later as she wrote me a letter of apology. I didn't answer the letter, or speak to her again. In fact she ceased to exist as far as I was concerned. Friends like that you don't need.

If it was an unthinking act or remark, then maybe there is the possibility of a reconciliation. 

[bright.ton42]

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@lurker172602 wrote:
Yes Helen, about 18 months ago I was very hurt by something a close friend did. Apparently I had inadvertently done something to upset her first. It took a long time and several painful conversations to get back to somewhere near what we had before. I'll admit we still both have some trust issues with each other, and things aren't as easy going as they used to be, but we're getting there.

Give yourself a couple of days to calm down, then try to have a conversation with her about what happened. And (without knowing or suggesting anything about your particular situation) be prepared to be confronted with some things you don't expect to hear.

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Yes I can relate to  the above and have experienced similar in the past too.  .  If I have a misunderstanding with someone I try (after a while to cool down)to talk it out and suggest a coffee or something non=threatening and it has worked but not always.  If I feel I was in the wrong I'll apologise but sometime you just don't know what the heck you did.  And sometimes they won't tell you, which is why I bolded that bit.  I'd much rather be told what i was perceived to have done/said wrong even if I don't like it, but some people are just not like that, they sink into a silence that is impossible to

break. 

I do think it's worth a try for reconciliation as it's so true to lose a bestie is imo devastating.

Helen you say it was the straw that broke the camel's back .....    well it seems there have been other things going on

for you to feel that.     I do hope it will work out. 

[crystal**flake]

You never trust best friends.........ever.