I was raped, robbed, abused, and framed by the Franklin County sheriffs and jail guards, then thrown in head first where they knew a woman would be molested at best.
Joanie, I don't know if this is any comfort to you, but I do believe you. I am only guessing here, but I suspect it happened at a time when you weres still 'on your journey' and were very vulnerable to to homophobic, wannabe macho men - bullies who thought their uniform gave them a god given right to behave in any way they pleased. I also suspect that when they arrested you they refused to accept you were a woman and threw you into a male prison. If this is true then it doesn't bear thinking about and I can absolutely understand why you have ended up such a mess.
The experience has left you severely traumatised and with an anger that borders on paranoia. - hardly surprising, I'd probably be the same myself in your position. The problem is this paranoia manisfests itself in very eccentric behaviour, which, coupled with your homelessness and the fact that you probably spend a lot of time on the streets, explains why you are constantly at loggerheads with the authorities.
I wish so much that I could wave a magic wand and make everything better for you, but of course I can't. All I can do is suggest that you seek out and take comfort from every small act of kindness you are shown. (remember the security guard who gave you the clothes) and draw strength from those moments to take baby steps back to trusting the world again.There are still good people out there -even policemen - you just need to find them.
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