Lighten the mood

[village_person]

Why not lighten the mood and add a bit of humour by posting jokes. I’d like to kick it off with one that I think is funny.

Two men were out on a shooting trip when an accident happened. One of the men made a frantic call to 000 telling the operator that an accident had happened and his hunting partner had been shot and he thought he was dead. “What should I do?” he asked the operator. The operator said the first thing he should do is confirm his hunting partner was dead. A short pause followed then a loud ‘bang’ was heard. The caller then said to the 000 operator “OK, he’s dead. What next?”

[icyfroth]

---

@wilk1149 wrote:
ATM machine. Now that's really funny

---

because it has an element of truth lol

[this-one-time-at-bandcamp]

It’s hard to comprehend all this guy has gotten away with. Any other president would have been impeached!

Not likely, he didn't stain a white house intern's dress.........that's the thing that sets the right-wing fundies off!  The republican investigation into Clinton cost the taxpayers over 60 million bucks..........imagine how many teachers they could have hired.

[wilk1149]

No you've missed my point completely. ATM is an abbreviation of Automatic Teller Machine. ATM machine is an Automatic Teller Machine machine. ATM would have been sufficient

[icyfroth]

---

@wilk1149 wrote:
No you've missed my point completely. ATM is an abbreviation of Automatic Teller Machine. ATM machine is an Automatic Teller Machine machine. ATM would have been sufficient

---

Oh. Ok. Got it now thx....

[this-one-time-at-bandcamp]

Three sweet young things come into a bar, and belly up.  The barkeep asks, "What'll you have, ladies?"  The red head asks for a BL, the brunette requests a ML, and the blonde perkily says, "Oh, I'll have a 15".......

The bartender replies, "I know that a BL is a Bud Light, and I know that a ML is a Miller Light, but I'll be blowed if I know what a "15" is".....

The blonde titters and answers in a sweet voice, "Oh silly you, it's a 7 and 7........."

[icyfroth]

[the*scarlet*pimpernel]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, “When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[icyfroth]

- One American guy traveled to China on a trip. He got on a bus, and sat right behind the driver. There was too much traffic. The man said : "Man why is there too much people !" ..The bus driver said :" You right , in chinnna , evere minute there is a child born." The man said: "See that's what makes americans better , because in america every 9 months there is a child born

[cmcoins2000]

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir.. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.

[goldenjet16]

"Not likely, he didn't stain a white house intern's dress.........that's the thing that sets the right-wing fundies off! The republican investigation into Clinton cost the taxpayers over 60 million bucks..........imagine how many teachers they could have hired."

Yep, it's the Republicans fault Clinton was a liar. Geez if he was going to lie about that how could you trust him with being honest with anything else he had to say to the U.S citizens.

But somehow him lying makes everything the Republicans fault, not his. Maybe if he would of just told the truth it wouldn't of cost tax payers 60 million bucks. But no it's the republicans fault.