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This thread is dedicated to my Mother and her recovery.
On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.
Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.
She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage
I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.
On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.
Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.
She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage
I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.
5th Jan 2008
OMG i just went to the post office to collect a parcel that was there and I have received the most beautiful gift from vampireteddy.
A wonderful calender made using pictures of my Mum
It is so beautiful.
Oh my gosh I am lost for words.
Vampireteddy, you have truely made my day. I will cherish it forever. Thankyou so very very much
Amy xxโฅโฅ
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7th jan 2008
i thought i was doing ok. I thought i was stronger.
So i stopped taking my anti depressant for 3 days
I'm no good though. Ive just been bawling for and hour looking at Mums photo because i heard that Avril Lavigne song "When you're gone".
Ive had my poor daughter in tears as well
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8th Jan 2008
hi all
well poor hubby came home to a blubbering mess in the kitchen and made the mistake of asking "Whats wrong?"
To which i replied "what isnt wrong?" and then he made the fatal reply of "Is something wrong with your Mum?" (meaning, had i had a phone call with bad news during the day)
Well that set me off
I started going off about of course theres somthing wrong with Mum. There has been for the last 7 months etc.
I ended up a mess in the bedroom with hubby and the kids in shock in the loungeroom
So, have come to the conclusion, you are all right. I'm not ready to just stop taking the tabs.
I'm so stupid
Thanks for listening
OMG i just went to the post office to collect a parcel that was there and I have received the most beautiful gift from vampireteddy.
A wonderful calender made using pictures of my Mum
It is so beautiful.
Oh my gosh I am lost for words.
Vampireteddy, you have truely made my day. I will cherish it forever. Thankyou so very very much
Amy xxโฅโฅ
---------------------------
7th jan 2008
i thought i was doing ok. I thought i was stronger.
So i stopped taking my anti depressant for 3 days
I'm no good though. Ive just been bawling for and hour looking at Mums photo because i heard that Avril Lavigne song "When you're gone".
Ive had my poor daughter in tears as well
------------------------------
8th Jan 2008
hi all
well poor hubby came home to a blubbering mess in the kitchen and made the mistake of asking "Whats wrong?"
To which i replied "what isnt wrong?" and then he made the fatal reply of "Is something wrong with your Mum?" (meaning, had i had a phone call with bad news during the day)
Well that set me off
I started going off about of course theres somthing wrong with Mum. There has been for the last 7 months etc.
I ended up a mess in the bedroom with hubby and the kids in shock in the loungeroom
So, have come to the conclusion, you are all right. I'm not ready to just stop taking the tabs.
I'm so stupid
Thanks for listening
9th Jan 2008
Talked to my sister tonight.
She says Mum has been taken off the warfarin for her deep vein thrombosis.
My Dad has asked Mums Doc if Mum can go on an antidepressant as he thinks she is sad.
So the Doc asked Mum
"Val, Eric thinks you need to have an anti depressant. Do you think you need one?
Mum blinks very slowly in response.
Doc says "Are you sad Val?"
Mum blinks very slowly in response.
Doc says "Do you know what anti depressants are?"
Mum blinks very slowly in response.
Doc is not sure if Mum is really responding so says to Mum
"If you want to go on an anti depressant, stick out your tongue"
Mum puts her tongue out.
So, shes going to be put on an anti depressant.
isnt that freaking AMAZING
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11th Jan 2008
I am furious
I have just received a ltter from my Nan (Mums mum)
And in it she does nothing but critisize my Dad and my sister.
This woman lives a $5.00 taxi ride from my Mum and hadnt been to see her for a month. This women spent 2 weeks in the same home as Mum for a trial over Chrissy and went to see Mum ONCE in that 2 weeks.
And she is critisizing mt Dad and my sister.
She has whinged that my sister did not spend ALL of Christmas day with Mum. She has whinged that my Dad played bowls one day a week.
She has complained that our family is being torn apart and how Mum would be so upset about it all.
Well all i see is a family being brought closer together and not taking any carp from the family that get in the way (Mums sisters in England).
Im so angry.
I have just tried to ring Nan but lucky for her she isnt home. She wanna hope i calm down for when i ring her agin later but ...i keep re reading the letter and i am getting ANGRIER and ANGRIER
---------------------------
Talked to my sister tonight.
She says Mum has been taken off the warfarin for her deep vein thrombosis.
My Dad has asked Mums Doc if Mum can go on an antidepressant as he thinks she is sad.
So the Doc asked Mum
"Val, Eric thinks you need to have an anti depressant. Do you think you need one?
Mum blinks very slowly in response.
Doc says "Are you sad Val?"
Mum blinks very slowly in response.
Doc says "Do you know what anti depressants are?"
Mum blinks very slowly in response.
Doc is not sure if Mum is really responding so says to Mum
"If you want to go on an anti depressant, stick out your tongue"
Mum puts her tongue out.
So, shes going to be put on an anti depressant.
isnt that freaking AMAZING
--------------------
11th Jan 2008
I am furious
I have just received a ltter from my Nan (Mums mum)
And in it she does nothing but critisize my Dad and my sister.
This woman lives a $5.00 taxi ride from my Mum and hadnt been to see her for a month. This women spent 2 weeks in the same home as Mum for a trial over Chrissy and went to see Mum ONCE in that 2 weeks.
And she is critisizing mt Dad and my sister.
She has whinged that my sister did not spend ALL of Christmas day with Mum. She has whinged that my Dad played bowls one day a week.
She has complained that our family is being torn apart and how Mum would be so upset about it all.
Well all i see is a family being brought closer together and not taking any carp from the family that get in the way (Mums sisters in England).
Im so angry.
I have just tried to ring Nan but lucky for her she isnt home. She wanna hope i calm down for when i ring her agin later but ...i keep re reading the letter and i am getting ANGRIER and ANGRIER
---------------------------
13th Jan 2008
hi all
theres still a lot of dramas going on with my Nan which had her calling me this morning and upsetting me.
She really does think the whole world should revolve around her and that my sister should be at her beck and call 24 hours a day.
When i tried to calmly talk to her and say how we are all suffering and we are all trying to cope the best way we can she just kept saying "If your Mum ever wakes up and sees that way you are all treating me, she is going to be so angry at you all"
She's just not a nice person and that upsets me because she is my Nan and I do love her but her selfishness just sickens me.
Tonight i talked to my sister and she had spent most of the day with Mum so dad could play a game of Bowls.
She said Mum is looking really good and spent most of the day in her wheelchair awake and alert.
There is still talk of putting Mum on an anti depressant. They just want to make sure her DVT is completely gone now shes off the Warfarin
-----------------
18th jan 2008
Just spoke to Dad.
MUM LAUGHED AT A MOVIE TODAY
You know that movie "Click" with Adam Sandler and the part where he pauses time and farts in his bosses face.
Well Dad laughed at that bit then looked at Mum and she was smiling and her body was shaking from laughing.
Then later when my sis turned up, Dad was telling her about that part in the movie and Mum laughed again. A nurse was also in the room as saw it as well.
Another big step....GO MUM
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21st Jan 2008
i talked to my sister last night.
She seemed really happy which i;m glad as she's been sad for so long.
She was so happy to see Mum smile and laugh when dad was telling her about the movie.
She said there was no mistaking what Mum was doing.
Mum has also got her new glasses which have helped her heaps. She was starting to squint a lot, but now her eyes are open wide.
------------------------
8th Feb 2008
Ive had a rough time this week. With working Mon, Tues and Wed nights, it means i dont get to talk to Dad as regulaly and that kinda freaked me out a bit.
I have also had to deal with teh travel insurance company again as Mum is possibly entitled to compensation. We have a lot of letters to write and Doctors reports to get organised and legal advice to get. It wont be a lot of money but it will help Dad.
Have also found out that if Mum had had her accident in Aus, her care in the home would be free. But since it happened overseas then Dad has to pay for it. It costs all of Mums pension + 15% of Dads. Plus he has to pay for all the medications she has. So any compensation she could get would come in handy.
I did get to talk to dad last night and he says Mum is fine. They went for a walk outside today. Mum is getting her anti depressant meds upped to a full tablet next week.
I got upset last night watching Lost.
See the last time i was in Dubbo with Mum and Dad, i watched Lost with them. Dad loves the show and, well. we had never really had a lot in common to talk about so i thought....well, we both like Lost, so we can talk about that.
After Lost had finished, i tried to talk about it with Dad and he got his usual attitude and said "I dont need to talk about a TV show as i have a life away from the TV". I said "well i just thought it might be something we could talk about to together, something we both enjoy" and he started getting agro, so i went to bed.
I remember laying in bed hearing Mum and Dad argue. Mum was defending me and telling him off for being mean.
I remember the words she said.....but i cant remember how she sounds
Silly, i know, but it upset me
hi all
theres still a lot of dramas going on with my Nan which had her calling me this morning and upsetting me.
She really does think the whole world should revolve around her and that my sister should be at her beck and call 24 hours a day.
When i tried to calmly talk to her and say how we are all suffering and we are all trying to cope the best way we can she just kept saying "If your Mum ever wakes up and sees that way you are all treating me, she is going to be so angry at you all"
She's just not a nice person and that upsets me because she is my Nan and I do love her but her selfishness just sickens me.
Tonight i talked to my sister and she had spent most of the day with Mum so dad could play a game of Bowls.
She said Mum is looking really good and spent most of the day in her wheelchair awake and alert.
There is still talk of putting Mum on an anti depressant. They just want to make sure her DVT is completely gone now shes off the Warfarin
-----------------
18th jan 2008
Just spoke to Dad.
MUM LAUGHED AT A MOVIE TODAY
You know that movie "Click" with Adam Sandler and the part where he pauses time and farts in his bosses face.
Well Dad laughed at that bit then looked at Mum and she was smiling and her body was shaking from laughing.
Then later when my sis turned up, Dad was telling her about that part in the movie and Mum laughed again. A nurse was also in the room as saw it as well.
Another big step....GO MUM
----------------
21st Jan 2008
i talked to my sister last night.
She seemed really happy which i;m glad as she's been sad for so long.
She was so happy to see Mum smile and laugh when dad was telling her about the movie.
She said there was no mistaking what Mum was doing.
Mum has also got her new glasses which have helped her heaps. She was starting to squint a lot, but now her eyes are open wide.
------------------------
8th Feb 2008
Ive had a rough time this week. With working Mon, Tues and Wed nights, it means i dont get to talk to Dad as regulaly and that kinda freaked me out a bit.
I have also had to deal with teh travel insurance company again as Mum is possibly entitled to compensation. We have a lot of letters to write and Doctors reports to get organised and legal advice to get. It wont be a lot of money but it will help Dad.
Have also found out that if Mum had had her accident in Aus, her care in the home would be free. But since it happened overseas then Dad has to pay for it. It costs all of Mums pension + 15% of Dads. Plus he has to pay for all the medications she has. So any compensation she could get would come in handy.
I did get to talk to dad last night and he says Mum is fine. They went for a walk outside today. Mum is getting her anti depressant meds upped to a full tablet next week.
I got upset last night watching Lost.
See the last time i was in Dubbo with Mum and Dad, i watched Lost with them. Dad loves the show and, well. we had never really had a lot in common to talk about so i thought....well, we both like Lost, so we can talk about that.
After Lost had finished, i tried to talk about it with Dad and he got his usual attitude and said "I dont need to talk about a TV show as i have a life away from the TV". I said "well i just thought it might be something we could talk about to together, something we both enjoy" and he started getting agro, so i went to bed.
I remember laying in bed hearing Mum and Dad argue. Mum was defending me and telling him off for being mean.
I remember the words she said.....but i cant remember how she sounds
Silly, i know, but it upset me
1oth Feb 2008
Mum has a tummy bug thats giving her bad diarrohia (?)
They have started her on some medicine that will hopefully clear it up.
Dad says he has been giving her a tiny bit of icecream daily. He says she sucks it off the spoon. Tonight he dropped it off the spoon and it landed just below her lip and she put her tongue down and licked it off.
Dad says she still smiles from time to time. Tonight he was joking around with a nurse and Mum was smiling.
Today Dad was putting mums socks on and he says Mum moved her toes and she was looking down at her toes whle she did it.
I kept telling him that these are all progress and he said yes, he knows but its just taking so long and he's so tired.
We both had a little cry then i changed the subject to Lost and we talked about that together for a while
-------------------
Mum has a tummy bug thats giving her bad diarrohia (?)
They have started her on some medicine that will hopefully clear it up.
Dad says he has been giving her a tiny bit of icecream daily. He says she sucks it off the spoon. Tonight he dropped it off the spoon and it landed just below her lip and she put her tongue down and licked it off.
Dad says she still smiles from time to time. Tonight he was joking around with a nurse and Mum was smiling.
Today Dad was putting mums socks on and he says Mum moved her toes and she was looking down at her toes whle she did it.
I kept telling him that these are all progress and he said yes, he knows but its just taking so long and he's so tired.
We both had a little cry then i changed the subject to Lost and we talked about that together for a while
-------------------
16th Feb 2008
Heres the lates news that my Mil who visited Mum yesterday has told me.
She says Mum seemed very alert and seems to try to get involved in the conversation.
Her skin was a bit oily but it is very hot at the moment in Dubbo and Mum has always been bad with the heat.
She moves her fingers a lot to answer questions and Dad has her nails nicely painted.
My Mil told her all about their latest visit here to see us and all about taking the kids to the pool. She gave Mum a kiss for me and the kids and asked Mum if she would like MIL to tell me that Mum loves me and Mum blinked 3 times for yes.
---------------------------------------
22nd Feb 2008
Morning everyone,
I phoned Dad last night. I hadnt spoken to dad since Sunday night as i work Mon, Tues and Wed nights so i was hoping to get, i dunno, lots of news i suppose.
He said Mum had had good days and had laughed again at a movie. I asked him to do the laugh to me that she had done and he did. It was a kind of low chuckle and he said she was smiling when she did it.
He also thinks she can read. He tests her on words.
EG- he shows her the word "house" in the newspaper and says "poke your tongue out if this says house" and she does. He will also try to trick her by pointing to a word and saying its something else. She doesnt poke her tongue out then.
He also says she tries really hard to talke.
So i suggested maybe buying some sight cards. You know the easy word cards that you use on kids to teach them to read. I thought maybe he could use the 'yes' and 'no' cards to help her communicate. Like ask her a question and show the yes and no cards and she could use a signal like poke tongue out or blink towards the answer she wants to give. I thought that would show us that she understands us and can read. And eventually move on to harder cards. I know it would take time, but i thought it would be worth it and would also give dad something new to try.
Anyway, it didnt go down well with dad. He started to get very stressed and angry on the phone. Saying that she wouldnt be able to do it, he had other things he was working on with her, he was happy now with how they communicate, he didnt have time......lost of different excuses.
I told him i had read on the net about ways to try and encourage communication with patients like Mum and he snapped that none of those people on the net know Mum or how she is.
He said he does lots with her during the day. He does physio, he reads to her, they watch movies and go for a walk. He cant do another thing yet.
He says he is working on getting her to swallow as well.
I could tell he was getting very stressed so i changed the subject.
Not long after that the call ended and i sat and cried.
I was just trying to help
See, the thing about my dad is he's a very set in routines kinda man. All his life he has followed a routine. He has always knowns what to expect each day, what time things must be done by, where he needs to be and by when.
Mum wasnt quite as bad but would make sure Dads routine never changed too much.
My worry is that he has a routine again. He is doing the same thing everyday and i worry its not going to help mum improve. Like bringing a new 'thing to do' into his routine stresses him out and is to hard for him so he wont bother.
Thats what i worry about.
I hoped the sight cards would be an easy thing for him to slip into his routine......i was wrong.
Anyway, i had decided i will talk to my sister about it when she gets back from her holiday (shes away for 2 weeks. Still has a week to go till she gets back) when the phone rang. It was Dad.
He said he was sorry for the way he spoke to me. He said hes a bit stressed not having my sister around (he made me promise not to tell my sister as he doesnt want her coming home early). He was used to my sis going up to Mum after she finished work at 5pm and then he could head home and do his gardening, washing and housework. But while sis is away, he stays with Mum till 7pm and then gets stressed about all the jobs he has to do at home still. He said mum hasnt had many visitors (My Nan hasnt been to see Mum for a month ).
He said when my sis gets back he will try the card excercise with Mum.
We ended that call on a good note.
Dad has been offered help with his lawns and stuff, but he wont accept it. He wants to do it all himself like he used to
Heres the lates news that my Mil who visited Mum yesterday has told me.
She says Mum seemed very alert and seems to try to get involved in the conversation.
Her skin was a bit oily but it is very hot at the moment in Dubbo and Mum has always been bad with the heat.
She moves her fingers a lot to answer questions and Dad has her nails nicely painted.
My Mil told her all about their latest visit here to see us and all about taking the kids to the pool. She gave Mum a kiss for me and the kids and asked Mum if she would like MIL to tell me that Mum loves me and Mum blinked 3 times for yes.
---------------------------------------
22nd Feb 2008
Morning everyone,
I phoned Dad last night. I hadnt spoken to dad since Sunday night as i work Mon, Tues and Wed nights so i was hoping to get, i dunno, lots of news i suppose.
He said Mum had had good days and had laughed again at a movie. I asked him to do the laugh to me that she had done and he did. It was a kind of low chuckle and he said she was smiling when she did it.
He also thinks she can read. He tests her on words.
EG- he shows her the word "house" in the newspaper and says "poke your tongue out if this says house" and she does. He will also try to trick her by pointing to a word and saying its something else. She doesnt poke her tongue out then.
He also says she tries really hard to talke.
So i suggested maybe buying some sight cards. You know the easy word cards that you use on kids to teach them to read. I thought maybe he could use the 'yes' and 'no' cards to help her communicate. Like ask her a question and show the yes and no cards and she could use a signal like poke tongue out or blink towards the answer she wants to give. I thought that would show us that she understands us and can read. And eventually move on to harder cards. I know it would take time, but i thought it would be worth it and would also give dad something new to try.
Anyway, it didnt go down well with dad. He started to get very stressed and angry on the phone. Saying that she wouldnt be able to do it, he had other things he was working on with her, he was happy now with how they communicate, he didnt have time......lost of different excuses.
I told him i had read on the net about ways to try and encourage communication with patients like Mum and he snapped that none of those people on the net know Mum or how she is.
He said he does lots with her during the day. He does physio, he reads to her, they watch movies and go for a walk. He cant do another thing yet.
He says he is working on getting her to swallow as well.
I could tell he was getting very stressed so i changed the subject.
Not long after that the call ended and i sat and cried.
I was just trying to help
See, the thing about my dad is he's a very set in routines kinda man. All his life he has followed a routine. He has always knowns what to expect each day, what time things must be done by, where he needs to be and by when.
Mum wasnt quite as bad but would make sure Dads routine never changed too much.
My worry is that he has a routine again. He is doing the same thing everyday and i worry its not going to help mum improve. Like bringing a new 'thing to do' into his routine stresses him out and is to hard for him so he wont bother.
Thats what i worry about.
I hoped the sight cards would be an easy thing for him to slip into his routine......i was wrong.
Anyway, i had decided i will talk to my sister about it when she gets back from her holiday (shes away for 2 weeks. Still has a week to go till she gets back) when the phone rang. It was Dad.
He said he was sorry for the way he spoke to me. He said hes a bit stressed not having my sister around (he made me promise not to tell my sister as he doesnt want her coming home early). He was used to my sis going up to Mum after she finished work at 5pm and then he could head home and do his gardening, washing and housework. But while sis is away, he stays with Mum till 7pm and then gets stressed about all the jobs he has to do at home still. He said mum hasnt had many visitors (My Nan hasnt been to see Mum for a month ).
He said when my sis gets back he will try the card excercise with Mum.
We ended that call on a good note.
Dad has been offered help with his lawns and stuff, but he wont accept it. He wants to do it all himself like he used to
29th Feb 2008
hi everyone.
I talked to Dad last night and he said Mum is fine. She has been a bit sad this week though.
My Nan went up to visit her on Monday for 1/2 an hour. Its the first time she been to visit Mum in 3 weeks.
I have no time for Nan anymore. She angers and upsets me too much and i just dont need that in my life.
She is selfish, self absorbed and IMO a pretty carpy Mum to her daughter.
So i will not let her take up any more thoughts in my brain.
Dad seems ok. Hes very tired though. My sister gets back from her holiday this weekend.
Dad has to go see centre link next week to be re assesed for his disability pension.
See, dads hips stuffed up a few years ago, requiring him to have a double hip replacement. They decided it would be best to do one hip at a time so 2 years ago he had one side done. He was meant to get the other side done last Novemeber, but of course, he didnt.
He says now, he will never be able to get it done while mum is like this.
So now his pension has to be checked out. To see if he's still eligible for the disability pension and to see if his payment need to be cut.
Of course we are hoping, all will stay the same.
I think thats stressing him out a bit though.
------------------------------------------------------
2nd march 2008
Im not having a good night tonight.
Very tired, very emotional and a very big mess.
Spoke to my sister tonight. She is a mess as well.
She just wanted something from Mum when she walked in Mums room after being away for 2 weeks.
Something
Anything
Some sign
Any sign
that shows she knew who she was.
But she got nothing
She sat with Mum for 2 hours today while Dad played bowls and the most she got was a cough.
Shes so upset.
I didnt know what to say to her. I cant help or offer any advice.
So we just cried on the phone together.
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8th March 2008
Today i got a lovely bear and letter in the post from a wonderful ex CWagger.
โฅ
The bear will take pride of place on my bed side drawers next to a photo of Mum.
Talked to Dad tonight. He was in good spirits as he had played a good game of bowls today and had won so tomorrow morning her has to play again.
Mum is on antibiotics for a urine infection. It should clear up fine.
Dad went up to see mum after his game. He says she was asleep when he walked in the room. He gave her a kiss and he says she opened her eyes and smiled slightly.
hi everyone.
I talked to Dad last night and he said Mum is fine. She has been a bit sad this week though.
My Nan went up to visit her on Monday for 1/2 an hour. Its the first time she been to visit Mum in 3 weeks.
I have no time for Nan anymore. She angers and upsets me too much and i just dont need that in my life.
She is selfish, self absorbed and IMO a pretty carpy Mum to her daughter.
So i will not let her take up any more thoughts in my brain.
Dad seems ok. Hes very tired though. My sister gets back from her holiday this weekend.
Dad has to go see centre link next week to be re assesed for his disability pension.
See, dads hips stuffed up a few years ago, requiring him to have a double hip replacement. They decided it would be best to do one hip at a time so 2 years ago he had one side done. He was meant to get the other side done last Novemeber, but of course, he didnt.
He says now, he will never be able to get it done while mum is like this.
So now his pension has to be checked out. To see if he's still eligible for the disability pension and to see if his payment need to be cut.
Of course we are hoping, all will stay the same.
I think thats stressing him out a bit though.
------------------------------------------------------
2nd march 2008
Im not having a good night tonight.
Very tired, very emotional and a very big mess.
Spoke to my sister tonight. She is a mess as well.
She just wanted something from Mum when she walked in Mums room after being away for 2 weeks.
Something
Anything
Some sign
Any sign
that shows she knew who she was.
But she got nothing
She sat with Mum for 2 hours today while Dad played bowls and the most she got was a cough.
Shes so upset.
I didnt know what to say to her. I cant help or offer any advice.
So we just cried on the phone together.
------------------------------------------------------------
8th March 2008
Today i got a lovely bear and letter in the post from a wonderful ex CWagger.
โฅ
The bear will take pride of place on my bed side drawers next to a photo of Mum.
Talked to Dad tonight. He was in good spirits as he had played a good game of bowls today and had won so tomorrow morning her has to play again.
Mum is on antibiotics for a urine infection. It should clear up fine.
Dad went up to see mum after his game. He says she was asleep when he walked in the room. He gave her a kiss and he says she opened her eyes and smiled slightly.
11th March 2008
Today i talked to my Aunt who rang from the UK.
Its the Aunt I stayed with when i went to the UK.
My Aunts mum passed away from dementia 2 years ago. For the 5 years before her death, she didnt know any of her family, she forgot how to function in life, she really had no idea what was going on around her.
My Aunt says, in many ways, although it was a very sad time, she was glad he Mum didnt know what was going on.
When i talked to my sister on Sunday night she said she had been up with Mum all morning while Dad played Bowls. She said they were watching TV and my sis looked over at mum and mum seemed sad.
My sister got right up close and said to Mum
"Mum, are you ok? I dont know whats wrong? Are you in pain? Are you just sad? I wish there was some way you could tell me whats wrong."
She said then Mums eyes kinda watered up and she looked like she was about to cry.
So my sister and I are torn.
Its kinda good that Mum is showing emotions and feelings, but if she is, then that means she knows whats going on and the position she is in.
And then i think maybe she's be mad at us for her being like that.
I know she and Dad had talked about this kinda thing and i know they both said they wouldnt want to be like this.
Maybe shes mad at Dad? he says some days she wont react to him. Maybe those days shes angry at him?
Gawd, she must be so angry.
She must be screaming inside
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11th march 2008
sootori (14)
Whoo Amy! You are starting to let your minds run wild and that doesn't help you's or you Mum. You need to look at the big picture. Your Mum probably wasn't in pain as I would think your sister would have noticed it in her face and the sad look could have been from a number of things. Maybe what they were watching on TV was something sad or triggered her memory to somehing sad, long ago. Yes! Your sister may be right. Maybe your Mum was about to cry because she would have heard the anguish in your sister's voice and couldn't comfort her.
I think your Mum knows alot of whats going on and that you are all doing your best to help her. Sure it must be fustrating for your Mum and yes! she could be angry, but its more likely to be, because she stepped out on the road and a truck hit her and not being angry with any of you.
As for the conversation your Mum and Dad had. If the roles had of been reversed, I'm betting your Mum would have done the same for your Dad. She would have fought to keep him alive too. You have all got to stop feeling guilty and try to think possitive. Your Mum has come along way and is continuing to improve and hopefully, one day you can put all this behind you and she can enjoy a good normal life again.
It is always best to follow your emotions. Years ago a couple with young children were put in a similar situation. The woman had an accident and was on life support and they had agreed years before, that should a situation like that arise either one would turn off the life support. Well, the husband couldn't do it and lucky he didn't, because his wife woke up soon after and they now enjoy a beautiful life with their children.
Try not to stress too much Amy and always keep positive thoughts.
As always my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
Today i talked to my Aunt who rang from the UK.
Its the Aunt I stayed with when i went to the UK.
My Aunts mum passed away from dementia 2 years ago. For the 5 years before her death, she didnt know any of her family, she forgot how to function in life, she really had no idea what was going on around her.
My Aunt says, in many ways, although it was a very sad time, she was glad he Mum didnt know what was going on.
When i talked to my sister on Sunday night she said she had been up with Mum all morning while Dad played Bowls. She said they were watching TV and my sis looked over at mum and mum seemed sad.
My sister got right up close and said to Mum
"Mum, are you ok? I dont know whats wrong? Are you in pain? Are you just sad? I wish there was some way you could tell me whats wrong."
She said then Mums eyes kinda watered up and she looked like she was about to cry.
So my sister and I are torn.
Its kinda good that Mum is showing emotions and feelings, but if she is, then that means she knows whats going on and the position she is in.
And then i think maybe she's be mad at us for her being like that.
I know she and Dad had talked about this kinda thing and i know they both said they wouldnt want to be like this.
Maybe shes mad at Dad? he says some days she wont react to him. Maybe those days shes angry at him?
Gawd, she must be so angry.
She must be screaming inside
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11th march 2008
sootori (14)
Whoo Amy! You are starting to let your minds run wild and that doesn't help you's or you Mum. You need to look at the big picture. Your Mum probably wasn't in pain as I would think your sister would have noticed it in her face and the sad look could have been from a number of things. Maybe what they were watching on TV was something sad or triggered her memory to somehing sad, long ago. Yes! Your sister may be right. Maybe your Mum was about to cry because she would have heard the anguish in your sister's voice and couldn't comfort her.
I think your Mum knows alot of whats going on and that you are all doing your best to help her. Sure it must be fustrating for your Mum and yes! she could be angry, but its more likely to be, because she stepped out on the road and a truck hit her and not being angry with any of you.
As for the conversation your Mum and Dad had. If the roles had of been reversed, I'm betting your Mum would have done the same for your Dad. She would have fought to keep him alive too. You have all got to stop feeling guilty and try to think possitive. Your Mum has come along way and is continuing to improve and hopefully, one day you can put all this behind you and she can enjoy a good normal life again.
It is always best to follow your emotions. Years ago a couple with young children were put in a similar situation. The woman had an accident and was on life support and they had agreed years before, that should a situation like that arise either one would turn off the life support. Well, the husband couldn't do it and lucky he didn't, because his wife woke up soon after and they now enjoy a beautiful life with their children.
Try not to stress too much Amy and always keep positive thoughts.
As always my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
