My Mums update thread

[daydream**believer]

This thread is dedicated to my Mother and her recovery.




On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.

Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.

She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage

I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.

[jack*in*a*box]

I been told over and over recently, that everyone is different and everyone handles things differently. There is no right or wrong..just difference.

Few people are able to, just for a brief moment, put themselves in anothers shoes to enlighten themselves with others realities.

Hang in there Amy. Stress and grief DOES affect people in diffferent ways. You and I have the benefit of 'time out' or 'time away' from the sick loved one. We have time to reflect and remove ourselves albeit with a hectic life of home. However, it is a slight distraction from being 'in it' everyday. That's what I am finding anyway.

((hugs)) Amy. I really don't know how any of you are coping at 5 years on. ♥♥♥

[vampire-teddy]

my MIL passed away in her sleep last month just months after being diagnosed with mouth cancer - we believe it had spread.  she went  quickly and peacefully.  luckily she had been admitted to hospital a day earlier as she was hallucinating.  i am so greatful for al concerned that she the way she did and while it was sad it was far easier for all concerned this way.

we had moved her and FIL in with us a month earlier as we believed that she had months to years left.  when she moved in she was mobile and coherent and went downhill and passed away within a month.  what we didn't count on was that FIL has dementia and needs full time care also a fact she had been covering for some time.  he is still with us but will be moving into a hostel shortly as he needs full time care and company which we cannot provide.

my thoughts are with you both as it is so difficult and i can't even imagine still living with uncertainty after 5 years.  I hope things become easier for you and your families in the future and that you will again find happiness and peace.

[daydream**believer]

you know what. I am such a horrible person.

I actually get jealous of people who loose their loved ones quickly.

i hate it.

But i cant help it.

I hear myself saying "Why did they get to pass quickly and peacefully? Why is my Mum going through this for so long?"

God im horrible

crazy- i dont think i am coping well at the moment 😞

Why now though? Its been 5 years. you would think i'd be used to this now.

[jack*in*a*box]

You are doing the best you can Amy... that's all that we can do.

Take each day as it comes. Day by day...that has been my motto with my mother. 

((hugs))

[tingamyjig]

Keep your pecker up, Amy.

I'm pleased that you all had a lovely holiday.

You're a wonderful wife and mother.

Just cherish those happy memories of your darling Mum.

HUGS. xxxx

[daydream**believer]

So, i havent spoken to Dad since the 12th June. He obviously hasnt won anything on eaby so hasnt felt the need to call and see how we are.

Im angry and really upset.

I spoke to my sister today and she said she has seen dad a few times and he hasnt mentioned me once.

Ohh and dad did let her know that the case he has filed against Blackpool council for unsafe traffic conditions being the cause of Mums accident has had a date set for November.

He also told her that the person who hit Mum with the van is suiing Dad for stress from the accident

[witches*wol]

WTF???? The bloke from the van is sueing your Dad??? What the hell does your Dad have to do with the guys stress?

[kyliecrv]

Amy... You are NOT a horrible person! ♥

[daydream**believer]

WTF???? The bloke from the van is sueing your Dad??? What the hell does your Dad have to do with the guys stress?

Well, i spose, technically he is suing Mum because she caused the accident.

Maybe when it goes to court, they can wheels Mums bed in along with her feeding machine and peeing bag and tell her to pay up for this poor mans suffering.

i felt bad for the guy. I know it was an accident. Nothing he could of done to avoid it and im sure he must of felt terrible. But he has been able to move on and live life. My Mum and Dad havent. Mum suffers from this everyday and dad sits next to her and has to watch, helpless. And if he wins the case, is he gonna take all of dads pension as compensation? The pension that pays for Mums care?

A weird coincidence though, last night, as i was still thinking about this, a story came on The Project about train drivers and the stress they suffer if they hit someone. Some can never return to work.

Then my hubby said, what if thats how this man has been? What if he has been so depressed and stressed from this that he could never drive again and never work again.

I dont know how to feel now.

[azureline**]

You will probably find that he is actually suing his own insurance, who in turn have to sue your mum but the compensation will be paid by the insurance? if that makes sense.

Shared liability? because of the circumstances of the accident.