Suicide

[martinw-48]

Why is it so bad?
Is it just that misery loves company.
That no one should have an easy out.
That you must suffer with the rest of us.
I actually benifited from suicide.
If my father hadn't killed himself I'd have had to kill him.
I couldn't live any longer under his control.
What is it with people that you must suffer from the same things that they hate.
I have been whinged at for years for not having gotten married and having children.
Even by total strangers.
The exception is that some men tell me that I'm extremely smart.
That they wished that they'd never married and they can be either still married or divorced.
I actually understand why people kill themselves.
Why constantly suffer just because someone else who hasn't ever been able to make your life better get to keep you suffering.
They always claim that they could of helped but how do they really know.
It could be that those who claim that they could have helped make the departed life better were the very one's that the departed wanted to get away from.

[tasfleur]

[freddie*rooster]

Martin I was a red head and was taunted at school because of my hair.

As I got older people would admire my hair and pass comment like

"that colour doesn't come out of a bottle" Now that the

red hair has mostly gone my hair is still commented on thinking it's

streaked. I read your posts regularly and often think what a smart and

knowledgeable man you are. I can only sympathise with your feelings

Martin and wish you well for the future. Life can be a tough slog especially

with illness. Feelings of hurt and despair are personal issues so many

people face on a daily basis for various reasons. I hope things improve for

you and each day you manage to have a smile about something good in

your life.

[chameleon54]

Why is suicide so bad ?......Those left behind can suffer for a lifetime, wondering if they could have helped or somehow made things better. It often messes up the mental health of those left behind for years. If you want to rationalise it, I think that is why it is so frowned upon by society.

Suicide is regularly triggered by depression. This is a genuine, tangible medical condition that can be devastating for those affected, but can be relatively easily treated. Those who suffer from it can live much happier, more fulfilled lives once they engage with treatment. There is assistance available. You just have to seek it out and take that first step of seeing your GP..

[lyhargr_0]

Martin there is help out there, perhaps go have a chat with Brian or one of the other docs at the medical centre, I know you will find them helpful and understanding.

[shoppingbag*]

Martin, I really feel for you. You are among friends here. I have also had great suffering in my life, so I understand full well where you are coming from. I have to try very hard not to visit the past, as it just dredges up the bad memories and makes me angry all over again. You are an individual, wear your hair how you wish and be proud. Most people just follow the herd like sheep and expect that if you don't too, then there must be something wrong with you. Many famous and rich successful people in history were criticized for being different, and it was that very difference that allowed them to become successful. I have always believed in being an individual, and I only care about the opinions of those people who I care about. I find it very sad that you feel the way you do. There is just so much to enjoy in life. I don't know if you have any hobbies at all, or are in any clubs, but it is a great way to take yourself away from your troubles for a while if you have something you enjoy doing and also mixing with those who share the same interest. You have come here for help which proves that you haven't given up yet. It would be nice to hear that you have received some help here, and also some comfort in knowing you are not alone.

[martinw-48]

I truly thank you all for your comments.
I didn't expect them because I wasn't asking so much on my behalf.
I know about the long term emotional damage because of my sister but to be honest she only fells that because she wasn't old enough at the time to know how bad life was with my father.
He never hit her so she didn't have the negative impact of that.
I do my best to ignore the bigots but it is so constant that they make it difficult.
Please understand that there's no immediate danger of me taking my life ATM because of the pact I have made within myself that I won't add to the emotional damage of my sister and with my health problems my life span has been dramatically decreased and the most likely outcome is a natural death before my sister's.
The funny thing to me is that there's a huge difference between my brain and my body because while my brain is happy to move on my body is amazingly resilient.
I have had multiple instances of conditions and afflictions that regularly kill most other people and my body just keeps going.
I do have hobbies.
The one I enjoy most though is the hardest to do because I have to be in Adelaide and the best establishment for this closed in September.
Adelaide Hills Slot Raceway was my favourite venue for slot car racing.
I used to repair clocks and watches but my eyes aren't up to it anymore.
Especially as the watch parts are so small and before you all suggest ocular assistance my vainty hasn't subsided enough allow for such at the moment but I'm slowly resigning myself to the reality that I will have to get glasses eventually but if I do go back to repairing the watches I need to be able to offload them without losing money and the greedy dealer I was selling them to hasn't gotten any less greedy and he's not alone in that regards.

[martinw-48]

So I'm going to be annoying everyone here for a while yet and just wait until my Sony phone gets repaired.
I'll have a clipboard again to attach links hete because there's many a topic I've had to ignore because of the limitations of this phone

[the_great_she_elephant]

Martinw-48 wrote; "I do my best to ignore the bigots but it is so constant that they make it difficult."

There is a saying; knowledge is power. Have you ever wondered about those bigots: what makes them behave the way they do?

They do it because they are afraid – not of you personally, but of the world you and your hair represent: the world as it really is rather than the world they would like it to be.

The path through life in the real world is not a broad, straight, clean-swept avenue stretching unswervingly to the horizon. It is a meandering overgrown trackway that winds through bogs and deserts, up mountains and down valleys, twisting and turning and sometimes even doubling back on itself, forcing us to start the journey all over again.

To the bigots this real world, brought home to  them by you and your hair, is an anathema, and their little minds cannot cope with the uncertainty. They are captives of their own insecurity. They will never learn what you have learnt, they will never understand what you understand. and they will never be free in the way which you, despite your pain, are free.

[the4masters2013]

Brilliant! Please keep going on the boards.

I, for one would miss you!

You started out in a certain way and many people have replied to you. Just proves how many good and kind people there are !!

All the best and keep on posting!

[martinw-48]

Thanks again, great she elephant.
You're very wise