Teen Neglect/Abuse?

[witches*wol]

Ok Master 17 has a girlfriend, been dating almost 4 months, she will be 17 next week.  So far seems like a very nice girl.  Gets along well with us and our youngest son.  So All Is Good...BUT...

Her Mother 😮  OMG the woman is a problem.  No we haven't met her or dad or step dad (Our son has met mum, step dad and little brother)

We know mum drinks...a lot!  Is regularly drunk, gets very abusive when drinking especially towards her daughter.  Our son has had the pleasure of seeing mum "go off" over skype.

Tonight she has locked her daughter out of the main house - this means she still has access to her bedroom but no access to food or anything.  She has been told she will be locked out for 3 days.  She was forced to phone her bio-dad tonight and to basically confess to him what a horrible disgusting person she is and that she is a pig.  She was able to call her dad back and apologise for the call and dad said he knew that mum forced her to call him.  (She use to live with dad - moved back to mum about 4 months ago)

Now to add to this mum has gotten hold of our sons mobile phone no and she is calling him to tell him what a terrible person his girlfriend (her daughter) is  Fortunately our son has been warned by his g/f that it is mum calling him and he has not answered her calls.  (comes up as unknown No and he doesn't answer unknown No's)

Tomorrow the girl will be going to stay with friends as she can't live at home for the next few days so she will be out of the situation for awhile.

So my question is what do I/ can I/ would you do??????

We live almost an hours drive from this girl so we can't just pop over and help.

She is in yr 11 so has at least 2 more years of school to go. 

Do we ring DOCS, or talk to the school, or just keep our noses out of it? I've not been in this situation before and I hate hearing that she is having to put up with this carp!  Do DOCS etc deal with older kids or just little ones?

Thanks

[witches*wol]

someone????  anyone????:|

[**meep**]

😞

Can you contact her father?

[mailorder.bride*]

there was that case...a young girl just wanted to be feral and not live home and got what she wanted...

read that somewhere. it should be no problem for her to do the same.

but i can't remember where i read that so i have no valuable information for you, where to go or what exactly to do.

[witches*wol]

If this one wanted to be feral she would have stayed living with her bio dad (and frankly I think she'd be better off with him)  But he suffers from depression and smokes a rather large amount of happy weed *sigh*  He sets no rules or boundaries and she can pretty much do what she likes. 

She decided to re-do year 11 this year as she realised that she didn't pick the best subjects and part of that meant she would move home with mum and change schools.  Mum was on her best behaviour for about 2 months and then it all went down hill.

[mailorder.bride*]

noooooooo

i didn't mean to call her feral.

i meant to say that it seems to be do-able and maybe even fairly easy to get her outta there.

[thebraff]

I can't really answer this one Witches, but perhaps get your son to tell her to speak to the School Counsellors.

Would she be able to go back living with her Dad if he is near her school?

[**meep**]

sorry, didnt realise her dad had a problem.

talk to her first maybe?  where would she want to live?

[thebraff]

I just saw your post that the Dad is not the best solution either.

Poor girl. 

What happens with the brother?

[thebraff]

OK I have just read your opening post again.

I think it is good that she is going to stay with friends for a few days.

I think you can offer her support and let her know that you are thinking of her and I would definitely be encouraging her to bring it to the School Counselors attention.  If she opens up the them then they are in a position to decide if it has to be reported further.