Tommys Joke Page

[tommy.irene]

Tommys Joke Page 2015

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene · Accepted solution]

[tommy.irene]

An advertisement read Mercedes for sale for £100

No one believed it, but one old man responded and went to see the car.

The lady actually sold him a brand new Mercedes , which had done just 12000 kms, for £100 .She handed him the papers and the car keys.

As he was leaving he said I would die of suspense if you don't tell me , why this car is sold so cheap?

The lady replied.

I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where all money received from sale of his Mercedes would go to his secretary..

[tommy.irene]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his

drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking

right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

A man entered the bus with both of his trouser pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked.
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

[tommy.irene]

With a lousy year under his belt a tractor salesman was traveling down a dusty back road in Iowa, when he came across a farmer working his field with an old, broken down tractor. He jumped out of his truck and gave his best sales pitch to the old guy. The farmer stroked his chin and said, "The other day I was getting ready to milk Betsy. I was just getting started when she kicked me with her left leg. So I grabbed me a piece of rope and tied her leg to the stall. Just as I was starting again, she kicked me with her right leg. I grabbed another piece of rope and tied leg to the other side of the stall. I'll be darned if when I started again she smacked in the face with her tail. I grabbed another piece of rope and tied her tail to the rafter above. Mister, if you can convince my wife that I was just trying to milk that cow, I'll buy a tractor."