Well that was an interesting night

[chameleon54]

Got a text from my sister to say she was in town and inviting the family around to meet  "Her son, " a nephew I didn't know I had. Sis worked in aboriginal health in remote Arnhem Land for many years and was adopted into the local Yongal tribe ( my spelling, I cant find anything on the internet to get it right )  by the leading clans family. Her " son" ( by clan adoption) DJ is a 28 YO indigenous man who was a tribal spiritual healer and in training to become a tribal elder. His grandfather is the tribal king.

The Yongal where the last tribe in Australia to have any major interactions with the whites and still live a very traditional lifestyle including hunting with spears, using dug out canoes and following traditional ceremony etc. It wasn't until the mid 1970,s when Rio Tinto began mining in the area that they encountered western civilisation on a regular basis.

My teenage daughter came with us, but as she was a female " cousin " she was not allowed to shake hands with DJ or look at him. She had to keep her head bowed to avoid eye contact.

We where treated to a night of traditional aboriginal didgeridoo music with each song a tribal history or totem. The most moving part of the night was when my brother in law, asked DJ to perform a healing ceremony on my wife. She is recovering from cancer and has had a lot of health issues. DJ performed sacred didgeridoo music, blowing the music into my wife's chest.

It was a fascinating evening learning about DJ,s culture and views on the world. DJ is a very sensitive, quiet and intelligent young man who is deeply traditional in his outlook but understands how his people can work co-operatively with westerners for mutual benefit. He has been educated in Melbourne for a time under a sporting scholarship and has played football for one of the well known AFL teams. Even so there where still some language barriers and my sister had to interpret at times. She is fluent in the traditional language. 

The tribe has a good relationship with Rio Tinto and has found them sensitive to the importance of cultural sites. It sounded completely different to the recent unfortunate incidents elsewhere. Perhaps the difference is DJ,s tribe have complete control over their lands and can order Rio Tinto off at any time.

I wasn't aware we still had indigenous tribes still practicing traditional culture and lifestyles in Australia. All up a fascinating evening and if DJ is any reflection, his tribe is in very safe hands.

[ambercat16 · Accepted solution]

Sounds like a fascinating evening🤗

I think the tribal name is Yolgnu.  You might be interested in the movie 10 Canoes which was filmed in Arnhem Land, with locals playing the characters in the story and speaking   Yolŋu Matha throughout.

[icyfroth]

Was it just your teenage daughter as a cousin not allowed to make eye contact or touch him, or did that apply to all women present?

[chameleon54]

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@icyfroth wrote:
Was it just your teenage daughter as a cousin not allowed to make eye contact or touch him, or did that apply to all women present?

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It was just my daughter. It was explained that as she was a cousin of marriageable age there was to be no contact of any sort and no eye contact in order to prevent any chance of romance developing. It was part of a very strict culture of keeping blood lines pure and only marrying within particular groups. It was also a gesture of respect for DJ,s position in the tribe as the spiritual healer and potential future king. 

A few other nuggets to come from the evening......The tribe had trading relationships with a group they called the " Macintyres " whoever they are. ( foreigners ) They traded their own items for metal to be used as spear tips and so had metal tipped spears long before European colonization.

Something they found very amusing was the Macintyres where Muslim and a local version of the name " Mohamid " was used as a boys name for hundreds of years before white fellas came. They also traded woman as wives with the Macintyres.

DJ still uses a spear for hunting. He hid it in a very sacred place before travelling south to protect it.

DJ was incredibly gentle and softly spoken. The only time I saw a hard steel of strength come through was when we where discussing Rio Tinto damaging sacred sites. His response was that if it occurred they would throw them off his land. I have no doubts they would. 

As the night wore on I got a sense that us Westerners present where living a very superficial life compared to DJ. He was intensely spiritual and although young at 28 years seemed to have a  much deeper wisdom and understanding than we have achieved. He also struck me as being of very high IQ, one of the smartest young men I have known.

DJ is returning to our town in a few weeks time and we have organised to book him into our sons recording studio to lay down some didge tracks.

All up a fascinating evening.

[domino-710]

They were the Macassan.

And it's a bit strange - with your teenage daughter.

She is not his sister -  if fact not even related.

Avoidance Relationships

As with nearly all Aboriginal groups, avoidance relationships exist in Yolngu culture between certain relations. The two main avoidance relationships are:

• son-in-law, mother-in-law
• brother, sister

Brother-sister avoidance called mirriri normally begins after initiation. In avoidance relationships, people don’t speak directly or look at one another, and try to avoid being in too close proximity with each other. People are avoided, but respected.

[chameleon54]

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@domino-710 wrote:

They were the Macassan.

And it's a bit strange - with your teenage daughter.

She is not his sister -  if fact not even related.

Avoidance Relationships

As with nearly all Aboriginal groups, avoidance relationships exist in Yolngu culture between certain relations. The two main avoidance relationships are:

• son-in-law, mother-in-law
• brother, sister

Brother-sister avoidance called mirriri normally begins after initiation. In avoidance relationships, people don’t speak directly or look at one another, and try to avoid being in too close proximity with each other. People are avoided, but respected.

---

It was explained to us that as my sister had been adopted into the tribe, she ( and the rest of us ) where now family. I knew she and her family had been adopted as formal members of the tribe and knew her biological son had been offered formal tribal initiation to manhood, on reaching puberty but I wasn't aware that it was actually the kings family that had adopted my sister. It was quite a surprise when we met her " son " to discover who it was we where to be spending the evening with.

On arriving DJ gave me a huge hug as if a long lost uncle he was meeting. He politely shook my wife's hand but kept his eyes lowered. This was in stark contrast to the time he was performing the healing ceremony on my wife. The Didge was placed with its opening at her chest in order to blow into her spirit and his eyes where wide open, incredibly intensely looking at her in some kind of trance. 

As for my daughter, through my sisters adoption into the tribe as one of DJ's " mothers," my daughter is now considered DJ's cousin and it would be considered a major sin if they where to develop a romance. DJ is the purest aboriginal by appearance I have ever seen. With such small gene pools it is vital to respect traditional family relationship trees.

There is a word to describe my daughters relationship with DJ, the translation being " Poison Cousin " meaning she was required to observe the traditions of distance to prevent any romance developing.

With the adoption thing, it is not something taken lightly. Once adopted into the family you and your family really are one of them. Respected in the same way as all of the other sacred traditions and customs.   

[chameleon54]

Thanks for the Macassen information, that explains it. DJ mentioned them several times and definitely pronounced it Macintyres, but no doubt that is a translation thing.

[domino-710]

Still not getting it. 

A poison cousin is someone to keep at a distance to preserve important relationships. For example in order to keep her marriage strong, she would not associate with any other men other than her husband as much as possible. But her brother in laws were poison relationships and so they could not be associated with at all.

[chameleon54]

On the question of the adoption thing and how it came about. My sister and her family lived in the community for well over a decade. Sis was the local women's health worker and her hubby ( an industrial engineer ) maintained the electricity generators and water supply system.

All of these things are considered traditionally sacred by the tribe. ie.  Health and provision of clean water. Not only did they work there, but they immersed themselves in the tribal society. ( I gather there where not a lot of white people up there anyway ) Their white children grew up hunting with spears like their black mates, they where invited to family gatherings and eventually ceremony etc. They embraced the people and culture to the point where they where formally adopted and accepted as part of the tribe.

My sister now lives in South Australia and is a senior indigenous health adviser and manager in the public service.

[chameleon54]

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@domino-710 wrote:

Still not getting it. 

A poison cousin is someone to keep at a distance to preserve important relationships. For example in order to keep her marriage strong, she would not associate with any other men other than her husband as much as possible. But her brother in laws were poison relationships and so they could not be associated with at all.

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It was explained that it was to keep bloodlines pure and prevent in breeding. Through my sisters tribal adoption my daughter is now DJ's cousin.......Simples......I get that from a Western perspective it doesn't make sense. She is a young European, white woman who has never stepped foot on tribal lands but that's not the point. Once adopted into the tribe, you and all of your family are now formal members of the tribal family. One in all in. There is no differentiation between adopted family and genetic family. They are all considered equal under tribal law and traditional customs apply to all members of the family.

I didn't want to go there because I can see the ambiguity and far fetchness of it all, but what it really means, is my family is now considered part of the tribe under cultural law. At least to the point of cousins observing distance.

The whole experience cant be judged by Western eyes. It was on a totally different plain. DJ lives and breathes spirituality and tribal custom. It totally affects everything he says , thinks and does. As a traditional tribal healer and trainee elder that is understandable. The daughter exercising distance was part of us showing respect for his tribal position and customs.  Everything else aside, while quiet and understated, this guy just had an amazing aura. There was something very special about him that commanded respect and as visitors into his world we where very careful not to offend.

The daughter was asked by my sister to observe distance, thats what she did.