CS:- Chuckle Store

[monman12]

As with all past inadvertent blooper post threads, the introductory post must be the classic contribution from our cheerful fishy lady, circa 2002:-

1stdolphinlady

"no expert here but is it possible to buy chicken & screw it to the posts of your fence a couple of feet off the ground then run it down into the ground a few inches & along the ground 1-2 feet.pile the dirt on top of it."

Still eye-watering Kylie.

[monman12]

[openthevault_seewhatisee]

magnificent looking dogs monman.....

[tasfleur]

Lovely dogs.

They should be renamed though .... 'pillow dogs' ... :^O

[*raqshaki*]

: 12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:




1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'


2. New Zealand RugbyCommentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'



3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'



4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'



5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'



6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'



7. Shown in UK but actually from Canada. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!



8. Steve Ryder covering theUS Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'



9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '



10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'



11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'



12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

<<<

[monman12]

#116 seems to be a LOT RS, and ALL with sexual connotations!!!!!!

My idea of good (finest even) BBC chuckle comments:-

Terry Venables: "Apart from the goals Norway hasn't scored"

During World Cup, "Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose"

[shhh_its_me]

I had a friend who asked what time the broken clock stopped.

[naemick]

"Personally l really wouldn't go buying a house with
a roof or walls, though there is a gazillion of them around and very safe, its just my choice is all."




B-)

Still laffin'

[sniper_patrol]

Several years ago my Mother and Father - In Law owned an outback Post Office. Each day they would sort the mail and also operated the telephone exchange.
A property owner arrived at the post office with a parcel addressed to the CSIRO. The parcel contained soil samples that was to be tested for nutrients and as such a notice was placed on the face of the parcel saying " Live Organisms " handle with care.
Several weeks later the results of the soil sample were posted back to the property owner. My dear Mother - In - Law saw the letter and decided to ring the owner to alert them that an official looking letter had arrived at the post office for their collection. She also mentioned that they had better collect the letter as soon as possible as it contained " Live Orgasms *

I must say that was the only time I had ever spat my coffee half way across the room.:O:-):^O

[not_an_eloi]

*crowd errupts into rautious applause*

:-D

[momentary.lapse.of.reason]

I have to say of all your 'chuckle" threads this one has to be the slowest mover.


:-x