Blocking a buyer...what can't they do?

[kitty-kat-kollection]

For the first time, I had to block a buyer last night. They purchased some shoes from me, claimed they were not as described or photographed (I did not edit or obscure any part of my 12 photographs), so wanted a refund.

I respectfully declined and they lodged an ebay dispute. Fine. I wrote a further message, and they grew very angry, irrational and then at times incoherent, saying they would be laughed out of their office, that only a clown would wear them, etc. I said that I would no longer be engaging directly with them due to their manner.

They then threatened that "defamation" would be "coming your way" and accused me of calling them a liar (I had not), which I could only assume implied they were threatening negative feedback, which is extortion and not allowed. I wrote this to ebay.

Then they REALLY blew up, sent three messages (none of which I replied to), called me dim, dopey, stupid, thick in the head, said I could not understand English, said they never threatened me with negative feedback, but then said they WOULD be leaving negative feedback as my item was "**bleep**".

Then they said to go away. Then they said (I still had not sent any messages so they were basically talking to themselves by now) "sod off. Permanently."

In the meantime, I saw they had left negative feedback so I immediately went onto the live ebay chat, explained the situation, they read all the messages, including the latest one telling me to "F*** off" (I STILL hadn't said anything to her! lol) and said they would be closing the dispute in my favour and removing the negative feedback. Thank you!

This buyer is going to be FURIOUS, but they screwed themselves with their unacceptable behaviour. My messages were all professional.

Anyway, I blocked them, but does this mean they just can't buy from me again? Can they still message me? I hope not.

Am I able to request ebay remove the positive feedback I left for them before all this happened?

[curraone]

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@repentatleisure1952 wrote:

Just curious

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How much time have you spent engaging the buyer mutiple times?

How much time have you spent engaging with eBay?

How much time have you spent posting on the boards?

How much more time will you spend making sure the neg is removed?

How much time will you spend worrying that the buyer may open a case with the Pal?

How much time will you spend worrying that buyer may be able to engage in malicious buying with a different ID or help from a friend?

How long would it take to type "Sorry to hear you are unhappy with your item.Please return for a full refund"?

I wonder if all this angst may have been avoided...it's a 20 buck item...not all transactions will go smoothly but can be easily handled if you take personal feelings out of the equation...jmo...works for me.

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No sorry, this is unacceptable.   The OP has a few simple questions.     

 does this mean they just can't buy from me again? Can they still message me? I hope not.

Am I able to request ebay remove the positive feedback I left for them before all this happened?

And your suggestion "Sorry to hear you are unhappy with your item.Please return for a full refund"?

is also unacceptable.    Sellers should not have to bend over to buyers who have bought an item which is well described just because the buyer doesn't like it.   And the abusive language that followed?   No refund necessary.

[digital*ghost]

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@padi*0409 wrote:

Anecdotally, members who have left follow-up feedback on negs have found that eBay tend to be reluctant to remove the neg, even if they have said they would before the follow-up was left.

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I've seen this said a few times, so just want to add - every neg eBay has ever removed from my FB profile had been replied to, and the replies caused no issues whatsoever in regards to the removal.

[padi*0409]

Thanks for that digi.

[repentatleisure1952]

"No sorry, this is unacceptable. "

And I respect your right to voice that opinion.

" The OP has a few simple questions. "

Which I believe were answered.

"Sellers should not have to bend over to buyers who have bought an item which is well described just because the buyer doesn't like it"

I'm not suggesting that they do so...after all buyers are a dime a dozen...snort.

I have merely stated what works for me.

" And the abusive language that followed? "

Never experienced that.

I believe most buyers are so shocked when a seller offers a return for refund without having to go three rounds in Fred Brophy's tent they either go radio silent or return the item & move on.

I just don't see the point in treating sellers/buyers as adverseries...it's just a simple business transaction.

[kitty-kat-kollection]

Thank you again, digital*ghost and carraone!

For me, I honestly don't mind time spent responding to the buyer, any stress it causes, time spent talking with ebay, or potential worry about Paypal disputes down the track, simply because in the cases where I DON'T agree to refund a buyer, it's because I know I'm correct and I refuse to give them what they want just because they stomp their foot and yell. I will not be bullied.

I've refunded buyers before when I was in the wrong or there was doubt present as to whether it was my fault, or not, and I've also refunded when there's been an item not received. I lodge an Aus Post investigation, refund the buyer soon after if the item still hasn't appeared, and then seek my compensation from Aus Post.

I once had a buyer who only received one earring as I had neglected to pack the parcel sufficiently to avoid the pointy earring backing puncturing through the parcel, and one earring fell out. My fault. I asked if she would like a replacement or a refund. The buyer said replacement, so I sent out another pair obviously at no cost to the buyer, and this time packaged better.

I have no problem giving refunds, but each is considered on a case by case basis and I will not be TOLD my perfectly good items are cr*p and to issue a refund, and then be repeatedly abused. It doesn't worry me if someone is a bit unhinged and rude to me. In the end, it was them who lost their own case by their inappropriate messages. It's nothing to do with me if someone is rude.

[kitty-kat-kollection]

Just to reiterate - most buyers are lovely and I certainly don't treat any buyer as an adversary UNLESS they come in, guns blazing, from the start, demanding a refund, saying my item is terrible and a joke, and accusing me of lying and then accusing me of accusing THEM of lying! (which I never did. lol) I respond in a polite, neutral and professional manner. If they do not, I can't do much about that.

[lyndal1838]

It does have something to do with you if a buyer is rude to you.

It is your reaction and subsequent actions that determine how the dispute is going to play out.

In this case you chose to report the buyer to ebay and the s**t hit the fan as they say.

If you want a peaceful life you could have just offered a refund when the item was returned.

[*tippy*toes*]

You should have left the feedback alone. You are going to be the one who looks stupid in 6 months time when it's still there. If you really felt the need to reply, you should have left a professional reply, not something amateur like you did.

[kitty-kat-kollection]

I actually did offer the buyer a refund initially, if they returned the shoes in original condition. They did not accept that.

I did not report the buyer to ebay. They lodged their dispute against me, and THEN proceeded to grow more angry, even though I barely responded apart from neutral and professional messages.

I only mentioned them to ebay after they had sent all their many abusive messages and then left the negative feedback.

I see now I should not have responded to that feedback. I've never had negative feedback or a buyer behave this way before!

How might I have better responded to the feedback though, in your opinion *tippy*toes*? I wish they gave you more characters.

[padi*0409]

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@kitty-kat-kollection wrote:


I did not report the buyer to ebay. They lodged their dispute against me, and THEN proceeded to grow more angry, even though I barely responded apart from neutral and professional messages.

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Well maybe you didn't report them per se but you must have told eBay through the dispute hat was happening (the buyer can see what you write back to eBay in the dispute), and at that point they grew more abusive, then after that they presumably left the neg for you.

"They then threatened that "defamation" would be "coming your way" and accused me of calling them a liar (I had not), which I could only assume implied they were threatening negative feedback, which is extortion and not allowed. I wrote this to ebay.

Then they REALLY blew up, sent three messages (none of which I replied to), called me dim, dopey, stupid, thick in the head, said I could not understand English, said they never threatened me with negative feedback, but then said they WOULD be leaving negative feedback as my item was "**bleep**"."