who is in the right ? I have done nothing wrong

[im.highest.bidder..now]

Hi all need your opinions please

I sold a dress a few weeks ago to a lady when she recieved it she said she was dissapointed and that it looked washed and worn and the wrong size , I listed it as a 16-18 because it is stretchy fabric ,,but I forgot to put in the measurements in the listing , now she is saying it doesn't fit her and wrong size but I am a size 16-18 and it fits me. the item is new without tags and hasn't been worn.

So I went and looked at her facebook page and she is clearly not a size 16 but she insists she is, all was good until she found out that I went on her fb , and responding to the positive feedback she left me and told her  that she was in deinal.

I told her that clothing sizes differ and she should have messaged me first for measurements before she bid

Now she has put in a paypal dispute last night  because of the facebook thing and that i was rude and now she wishes to pursue it further and saying it's illegal to look at facebook  I told her it is public and anyone can look at anyone on there and wasn't a crime.

now paypal has put aside the money for the dress  , positive feedback left for me on the 5th of may  

Thanks

[cq_tech]

She may have given you a green dot but the feedback is clearly not positive. Just be thankful that she didn't leave you a red dot instead. As far as her Paypal claim is concerned, as you had no specific measurements in your listing, it's unlikely that you will be able to successfully defend it so the best you can do is to tell her to return the dress (in the same condition it was received) and she will be refunded, but under no circumstances agree to a refund until such time as the dress has been returned to you at her expense, and also add her ebay user ID to your blocked bidder list.

[im.highest.bidder..now]

Thanks , yeah I don't get some people if you're unhappy with an item why leave a green potive feedback with a negative comment it defeats the whole purpose of feedback , turning me off selling altogether but i suppose this comes with the territory eh

[cq_tech]

At least with a green dot nobody will give her comments a second glance and your feedback percentage still remains at 100% so fortunately there's no real harm been done this time. Had she left a red dot, your feedback would have dropped to 96% and stayed with you for 12 months, which would have been devastating.

As far as selling in the future goes, it's highly advisable to give as much information as possible in your listings, especially when it comes to clothing, and also edit your return policy to exclude refunds for "change of mind" purchases so that dodgy buyers can no longer take advantage of you. Fortunately though, most buyers are pretty good and it's only a very small minority who are bad.

[digital*ghost]

Whether or not you can successfully defend a PayPal dispute over the sizing issue is likely to depend on whether the dress was tagged with a size. If it's tagged as a 16, then your description is accurate regardless of whether it fits someone who usually wears a 16 or not. (That's not a recommendation to leave measurements out of listings, though, they're extremely important for a range of different reasons).

That being said, I have to be honest here... Your response to the buyer's feedback is, in my humble opinion, way out of line. It doesn't matter that Facebook is public and anyone can view information there (if the person has their page set up that way, anyway), their Facebook page and self-image (whether you think it's accurate or not) has nothing to do with you or the transaction.

What you have essentially done is track down the buyer's personal social page and used it to make disparaging remarks - whether you think your buyer was being unreasonable, and/or those comments are fair or not, I have two things to ask you... How would you like it if a seller did that to you? And how would you feel about dealing with a seller if you looked on their feedback page and saw that's the kind of thing they do - would you still buy from them? I ask that because that comment is making the buyer's feedback stand out, and your reply is now permanently on there, for all your future and potential buyers to see.

[im.highest.bidder..now]

The only reason I had to go check her out is because I had a feeling she was lying and said the dress was for herself I didn't make any rude remarks about her or her weight ever (i am no twiggy myself)  I had no choice. even i say to myself I am in denial about some clothes I pick out for myself 

If I am going to be at a potentially $18 loss for the postage I want to make sure and there is no nice way to say she is definately bigger then she claims to be , from the messages she has been sending it was my fault it didn't fit her and it was the only listing I had forgot to add the measurements in (my bad) but she should of messaged me for them beofre she bid on it to make sure.

personally I don't care who looks at my facebook profile that be sellers buyers whoever.

looking back I was a bit harsh on the feedback reply , but she is looking for any fault just to get the money back 

[digital*ghost]

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@im.highest.bidder..now wrote:

The only reason I had to go check her out is because I had a feeling she was lying and said the dress was for herself I didn't make any rude remarks about her or her weight ever (i am no twiggy myself)  I had no choice. even i say to myself I am in denial about some clothes I pick out for myself 

If I am going to be at a potentially $18 loss for the postage I want to make sure and there is no nice way to say she is definately bigger then she claims to be , from the messages she has been sending it was my fault it didn't fit her and it was the only listing I had forgot to add the measurements in (my bad) but she should of messaged me for them beofre she bid on it to make sure.

personally I don't care who looks at my facebook profile that be sellers buyers whoever.

looking back I was a bit harsh on the feedback reply , but she is looking for any fault just to get the money back 

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My point was that none of that matters.

You didn't have to check out her Facebook profile at all, no matter what the reason, and doing so has obviously not made the situation any better, rather it's escalated it.

When a buyer contacts a seller with an issue, they have a wide range of choices on how to deal with the situation. It would have been very easy to to stick to your "no returns accepted' policy as stated in the listing without going to look at pictures. 

[phorum_junkie*]

My response would have been that I was very sorry she was disappointed and as it was partly my fault for failing to give measurements I would like to offer the option of either returning the dress for a refund of the item price only or they can keep it and I will give them a ?$ refund (something between a couple of bucks and 20% depending what it sold for) so she could give it to somebody it would fit or sell it on in which case she was welcome to use my photo and/or description.

I have done this several times and they usually opt for one or the other or indeed decide just to keep it, some of them even become regular customers because they know they will be treated well.

[chezzy]

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@im.highest.bidder..now wrote:

So I went and looked at her facebook page and she is clearly not a size 16

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I feel this kind of thing makes you look like a busy body, certainly commenting in these public forums and in the feedback I think is inappropriate and potentially embarrassing for the buyer

[2106greencat]

Yeah that was pretty poor - not so much the looking at facebook, but the comment on feedback is way harsh and out of line.

It makes you look exactly as the buyer described in her feedback - rude.

I think she may have grounds to get the 'follow up' removed, but if it were me I would let it stand for all to see, which in the long run I think will harm you as a seller more than her as a buyer.