Aged Care a Worry

[davidc4430]

Who out there is watching the horror stories comming out of the aged care sector and thinking, its not long and i'm going to be in one of these places?

Call for more scrutiny in aged care, after maggots found on woman in nursing home north of Newcastle

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-09/jayne-carter-opal-raymond-terrace-gardens-nursing-home-maggots...

kinda scary isnt it?

[freddie*rooster]

Where Mum was each resident had their own

GP - Mum's GP actually lived 2mins drive from

the Nursing Home - so he could visit prior to or after

surgery - but nup I had to chase him up and his

excuse was always they hadn't let him know she

needed to be seen. He even told me he had been

and couldn't find any staff so would just pop in

and see Mum and leave -  Yet the staff when asked

wouldn't be aware of his visit. I'm leaving here in a 

body bag 

[domino-710]

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@freddie*rooster wrote:

 I'm leaving here in a 

body bag 

---

And a very shapely one it will be Freddie.

[imastawka]

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@domino-710 wrote:

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@freddie*rooster wrote:

 I'm leaving here in a 

body bag 

---

And a very shapely one it will be Freddie.

---

How was that me?  It was Dom.

Talk about dob me in for something I didn't do    

'Someone's' got a touch of Senior's memory, and it ain't me

[icyfroth]

Oh yep sorry about that, Stawks.

It was too...

[freddie*rooster]

[icyfroth]

[not_for_sale2025]

I have a 40 year old woman friend who has been caring for her parents most of her adult life. She has confided in me that she has always been close to her mother, but her father was not a very good father and has become more nasty and cruel since he started dementing. My friend is a devoted daughter and I suspect she will care for both her parents until the end.

While it is none of my business, it concerns me that my friend may have to wait many years before she can begin to live her own life. I imagine she will miss the opportunity to have children. I know that her dream is to meet somebody, hopefully enter into a relationship, share and spend the final years of her life beside a partner, not alone. At present she is alone in this respect. Surely it is reasonable for her to have this dream too. I know she is conflicted and torn between her want to remain a loyal daughter and her human desire to fulfill her life as a woman. But where does one draw the line between her responsibilities to her parents and her responsibility to herself.

I am raising this because I think it is wrong to generalise and form automatic judgements of the children of the elderly who may or may not be supporting their parents. I think every family situation needs to be taken into consideration. Ironically, in the case of my friend, one reason why she will not consider a nursing home is because she believes certain people will accuse her of "dumping" them. Yet she is the last person who would do that IMO.

[zanadoo_56]

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@freddie*rooster wrote:

Personally I think the ideal situation would be if children

could add a granny flat to their home for their elderly

parents - that would be a win win for both - care

and monetary wise. The parent selling their home to

pay for the extension.

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I don't have any children.  No one is going to to be building a granny flat for me.

In any case a lot depends on what kind of care the parent needs.  My father forgot who we all were and imagined (as is common with Alzheimers) that he needed to go home....and home was where his parents (long dead) were living when he was a child.  If Dad had been living in a granny flat he'd have been out the door and down the street in a shot looking for 'home'. 

It just not that simple sometimes.

[janeababe]

not_for_sale2017,

Inform your friend to contact ACAT for an assessment to see if she can get a care package for her dad at least. 
(Aged Care Assessment Team)  (ACAS in Victoria)

https://www.agedcareguide.com.au/acats/new-south-wales

This link has all our states ACAT contact details for you (or anyone else)

Dementia is a terrible disease. It can turn the most gentle person into a horrible monster.  Its not the person, its the disease, sadly...

Believe me, your friend could hardly be accused of *dumping* her parents into a home. One has a dementia diagnosis for a start, and you say she is currently their full time carer.

I hope you are able to have a heart- to - heart with your friend.  If you can tell her your deepest concerns, it might be enough for her to see that she not only values her parents, but she has to value herself too.

It would be a terrible thing for your friend to devote her entire life to caring for her parents while missing out on having a life for herself. She will be old way before her time... 

A Care Package would certainly give her some respite and help at the very least. Caring for a member with Dementia is bloody hard work, very time consuming and sometimes, dangerous especially when violence has commenced.  (this is often the case with dementia, usually triggered by frustration)

Anyway, all that said, at the end of the day, the final decision is hers to make.

All the best..

xxj

[freddie*rooster]

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@zanadoo_56 wrote:

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@freddie*rooster wrote:

Personally I think the ideal situation would be if children

could add a granny flat to their home for their elderly

parents - that would be a win win for both - care

and monetary wise. The parent selling their home to

pay for the extension.

---

I don't have any children.  No one is going to to be building a granny flat for me.

In any case a lot depends on what kind of care the parent needs.  My father forgot who we all were and imagined (as is common with Alzheimers) that he needed to go home....and home was where his parents (long dead) were living when he was a child.  If Dad had been living in a granny flat he'd have been out the door and down the street in a shot looking for 'home'. 

It just not that simple sometimes.

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Zanadoo I accept circumstances in each family are different - my suggestion

would apply if possible - in today's society with the battle to own your own home 

it put's my suggestion out of reach for some. But I think generally my suggestion

would solve a number of hurdles relating to families and aged care.