My hubby did that too chuk. 3 months after we sold the house we owned and moved into this dream house we'd gone back into debt to build.
3 months in, in the car on the way home from dropping off some dvds we'd hired the night before, he pulled the old, "do you want to have a talk about us?"
I swear i did not see it coming and from that moment on I was sick with worry and anxiety so bad that I plunged headlong into the worst depression. I lost 32 kg in weight. ( so every cloud does have a silver lining )
He said his feelings had been changing over the past 5 years! Well hello.....did you think to mention this to me earlier so we could try and work things out together. When i asked him why he hadn't said anything when we had the house on the market, or when we were renting, or before we started building, ( why didn't you just say something you fec king idiot???) all he could say was, "I thought I was doing the right thing"."
That's it. He thought he was doing the right thing.......by who? He got to hope out of our bed in the morning and jump into another woman's that night. He just came home from work......to a roast freakin dinner I might add.....packed a bag and left. Left me with a brand new house. $180000 debt. 3 kids in private school a rabbit and two dogs.............and me with a 2 day a week job.
Well boo fec king whoo. You go and find yourselves. Find yourselves well and truly roo ted coz the one thing in life you should have held onto with all you might has ( and you will too chuk ) realised that she is better off without you. She's a better person than you. She's a stronger person than you. And she cares more for others than you ever have or ever will.
Seriously chuck, I wish I could convince you that he's not worth the pain you're going to be putting yourself through, but that's something you'll have to work out for yourself. But I will tell you, if he doesn't love you then it's his loss not yours. Cut your losses and move on. That's the hardest bit to do and I can't tell you how to do that in the best way for you. But that's what you have to do. If he comes to his senses in time and wants to reconcile then nothing is lost, but if he doesn't your wasting your time that you could better use to be making yourself happy.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve better, but no-one can get that for you but you.
In time you'll realise that your a you, not and us. You can survive as just a you and there is good thing still ahead in this life for you. I know you can't believe that now, but in time it will get easier and you will.
I'm living proof things do change and they do get easier and things will get better. They'll be different to your original hopes and dreams, but they'll be better. You have no idea of how many times I contemplated ending it all because it hurt too much and it was all to hard. But I'm still here. I didn't even believe in myself......but I'm here and thank God I never succumbed to those feelings of hopelessness because there's been a ton of happiness in the past 3 years that I'd have missed out on and all because I didn't think my life was worth a pinch of salt without him in it.
Man was I wrong.