My Mums update thread

[daydream**believer]

This thread is dedicated to my Mother and her recovery.




On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.

Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.

She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage

I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.

[jack*in*a*box]

((hugs)) Amy.

It's so not right.

I've been screamed at exactly the same way recently by my aunty saying I have no clue to how stressed she is. She is closer to my mum than anyone else and I should leave. 😮  

People get short sighted when things like this happen. They don't realise that others are hurting too.

[Anonymous]

Amy things are not getting any better, I know you must feel like you are alone and living a nightmare, you desparately need your Dad's love and support and he is not capable of giving it, you have no control over the situation.  While your Mum is in this state, you still have your own family to nourish, and that has to be your priority.  Don't let your Dad push you away, keep ringing him, at the end of the day, you have to live with the decisions you have made.

[jack*in*a*box]

It's very sad that your father is not allowing you in his life at the moment. :-x Take care of you

[blacksheep9772]

Oh god, I just want to hug everyone whos having a rough time at the hand of other people!  (((HUGS)))  :-x

It's true that we cannot control how others behave.  No matter how wrong we think their behaviour is.  Doesnt make it any easier though, does it?  😞

[witches*wol]

((Amy))

I heard a saying a long time ago that went something like this (I'll need to clean it up a bit for the mods sake)

"No matter how much you care... some people are just donkeys"

And you do care about your dad but no matter how much you care about him he is only interested in himself and his problems.  And dare I suggest, if he lives to be 100 that is never going to change.

So now what you need to work out is how to have a different relationship with him.  And it will be a very one sided relationship, where you do all the caring and providing of emotional support to him and in return (and I hate to say it) he gives you nothing.

Which means you are going to need to find someone else to give you the emotional support you need.

Of course your other option is to have no contact with your dad at all but I don't see you as the kind of person who could do that.

Now you may find this a little hard to believe but when you reconcile yourself to the fact that your dad really doesn't give a carp about you or your problems you remove all expectations from your relationship with him and it does become easier to deal with him because you no longer expect him to care.

We have a close relation with whom we have had to do this.  Oddly enough it is a male in our family too.  He really couldn't care less if we lived or died but by god we have to care when he rings us with all his tales of woe.  So we "Oh and Awww" in all the right places and he goes away feeling reasonably happy.  We don't bother to tell him anything much about how our family is doing or things that are happening in our lives.  He doesn't care so we don't waste our breath.

Believe me I know it sounds harsh but after this many years you need to find a less upsetting way of having a relationship with your dad.  You know he wont change so you need to find different ways of dealing with him.

((((Mega Hugs))))  :-x

[daydream**believer]

Spoke to my sister over the weekend.

She had seen Dad the day after our arguement.

Dad- "I suppose youve spoke to your sister.'

Sister- "No. Why?"

Dad- " I called her last night and she started telling me off for not calling her. She has a phone. She could of called me"

Sister- "Is that all she said or was there more to it"

Dad- "I dont know. she just started yelling at me as if i was a child"

Sister- "Were you yelling at her like she is a child?"

Dad- "She is a child"

Sister- "No shes not. Neither of us are"

Dad- "Well you are my children and you will both speak to me with respect. Anyway, unless she calls me and the first thing out of her mouth is an apology, i wont talk to her again"

[daydream**believer]

Late last night my sister calls me to let me know my Mum is in hospital. She has a swollen pancreas, gall bladder and small intestine. She is in a lot of pain and is vomitting.

Dad had told her to call me. He said "You can call your sister cause im not talking to her"

This morning Dad called me to tell me Mum was having an MRI this morning. They think she must have a blockage somewhere and if she has, they will have to operate. It will be touch and go if she will survive the operation.

I hope she doesnt 😞

[id-to-post-anything]

(((((AMY)))

It feels so horrible either way. Lose Lose 😞

Hang in there strong lady.

[azureline**]

I hope your mum is ok either way Daydream, any news yet?

:-x

[daydream**believer]

No news yet. Just a quick text from my sister sayinf Mum is not doing well but they may not be able to operate as her lungs are too bad