Suicide

[martinw-48]

Why is it so bad?
Is it just that misery loves company.
That no one should have an easy out.
That you must suffer with the rest of us.
I actually benifited from suicide.
If my father hadn't killed himself I'd have had to kill him.
I couldn't live any longer under his control.
What is it with people that you must suffer from the same things that they hate.
I have been whinged at for years for not having gotten married and having children.
Even by total strangers.
The exception is that some men tell me that I'm extremely smart.
That they wished that they'd never married and they can be either still married or divorced.
I actually understand why people kill themselves.
Why constantly suffer just because someone else who hasn't ever been able to make your life better get to keep you suffering.
They always claim that they could of helped but how do they really know.
It could be that those who claim that they could have helped make the departed life better were the very one's that the departed wanted to get away from.

[martinw-48]

Freddie, sorry I missed your comment.
My sister is younger.
I have people scream at me as I walk down the footpath from their cars to get a haircut with expletives thrown in for dramatic effect.
Then there's the smart **bleep**s that do it without the abuse but from the position of judgement.
I have people walk up to me in the street and tell me that they thought I am a woman or ask if I can't get a haircut because the barber is booked out.
I used to have short hair but had to wear beanies in winter even when sleeping and they make me itch and I lose them.
Before the short hair I had long hair and remembered that it made me hot in summer when I lived in Adelaide so I grew it again to keep me warm.
Of course there's many women that love my hair and are very jealous because it's naturally curly and highlighted.

[martinw-48]

Thanks again for your kind words great she elephant

[joz*garage]

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-12-05/wa-voluntary-euthanasia-law-passes-upper-house-vote/11771302

that's a step forward (at least)

[joz*garage]

Yep, No love or affection, No unconditional love from your parents.. that in itself is abuse & is a huge soul killer & gives a person a lousy start in life

I was suicidal untill i did rehab and a meditation camp, i don't think i had a passing suicidal thought ever since, huge turn around

But i sure do understand where you're coming from 

[the_great_she_elephant]

It ws then retruned to the Lower House where it was passed into law, Joe; but it will apparently  be another 18 months before it comes into effect.

[joz*garage]

A long time mate did himself in, Wouldn't listen to me about getting off these experimental medications and get professional therapy instead

I cried

Why did i cry? probably for selfish reasons, i felt more alone (one less fishing buddy)

[not_for_sale2025]

"My life has been constant suffering except for five years".

Can I ask about the five years Martin, if it's not too personal?

[martinw-48]

The five years was when I worked for the State Transport Authority in Adelaide on the Glenelg Tram.
I had secure employment that was a livable wage.
It was my fault it ended because I blew the whistle on the union as they were bullying us into a new work agreement.
I worked for Westpac prior for a third of the money and I absolutely loathed the work and the people I worked with.
Since the Trams I've had casual employment and most have stolen wages and not paid superannuation

[zanadoo_56]

I have a friend who suffes from depression....and I worry like hell about her, especially when she posts sad messages.

But I'm also not a person with much understanding of depression nor a desire to end my life so I never know what to say to her.  I don't know what to say to you either, except that I have a streak of optimism that maybe the next day or week or whatever might be worth NOT making any hasty decisions.

As for the comments about your hair....stuff them.  I get comments about my weight all the time.  That fact that it is down to various illnesses means nothing (or isn't believed) by a (mostly younger) public who see 'fat shaming' as a game and perfectly acceptable, is something I've got used to....and it's now water off a duck's back. 

People who make public comments about strangers are frankly to be pitied if that's all they can do to make themselves feel better.  I don't have kids either, and never wanted any - you should hear what people say to me about that!  So what?  Not everyone is a parent....or in my case is prepared to put in the effort to try to be a good one.

I live with physical pain every day and I'm losing mobility but my mind is still sharp so I'm not giving up.  A cure might be just around the corner....but if it isn't, oh well, that's the luck of the draw.  No one lives forever but I intend to try to stay alert and alive no matter how much this tedious body is failing me. 

I don't think you should give up either.  There's lots of us on this forum that reads your posts, and on so many topics it is often yours that is a very different point of view.  I just wish I had the answers for you and for my friend.

[not_for_sale2025]

---

@martinw-48 wrote:
The five years was when I worked for the State Transport Authority in Adelaide on the Glenelg Tram.
I had secure employment that was a livable wage.
It was my fault it ended because I blew the whistle on the union as they were bullying us into a new work agreement.
I worked for Westpac prior for a third of the money and I absolutely loathed the work and the people I worked with.
Since the Trams I've had casual employment and most have stolen wages and not paid superannuation

---

Given that you have experienced such difficult times, you must have been very self-disciplined and committed to pay off your mortgage and remain as independent as you are. You sound pretty strong to me.