Teaching kids to drive ~ why am I bothering? Scroller

[witches*wol]

Ok I need advice!

Master (I will be 17 on Friday unless mum throttles me between now and then) is being a real pain!

He got his learners permit, has done about 5 hours practice driving (115 hours to go before her can legally get his licence)  For Xmas we bought him 5 driving lessons, he's done one and has 4 more to go.

Talking about it with his aunt today he is all "Oh I really don't want to learn to drive and it's boring and I can't be bothered"

So firstly I am thinking "Ungrateful little horror" then I am wondering why the hell do I care.  If he can't be stuffed and thinks it's boring well then stuff him!

So now do I continue to tell him he is an ungrateful little bugger and give him grief  because I understand how important it can be to have  drivers licence even if he never bothers to buy his own car.  I mean so many jobs require you to have a licence and I've explained that he is going to be really peeved if he misses out on his dream job just cause he can't drive.  And of course he will still have at least 110 hours of practice to do before he can go for his licence so it's not like he can discover his dream job requiring a drivers licence on Monday and go for his licence on Friday.

Or do I just say "Ok do your 5 lessons and then do whatever you like.  Drive or don't drive it's up to you"?

BUT then here is my other question...

Does this mean that I am still to be expecting to be driving him around?

For example he has a girlfriend now but she lives about 50 mins drive from our place which on public transport is more like 1.5 hours.  Now it is a bit quicker if I drive her (with him in tow) to the train station when she is going home.  Should I still be doing this?  I mean he isn't preprared to learn to drive but is quite happy for me to drive him & her around.

Also he goes out to parties we always drive him and pick him up.  Do we need to rethink this too?  Or at least rethink him getting himself to the party but be prepared to pick him up.

He doesn't have a part time job (year 12 this year - concentrating on studies) so either way I am paying for my fuel, or my cash on the public transport.  And there is no way I can afford Taxi fares for him.

Ok All and Any advice is welcome please.  Especially from anyone who has been through similar stuff with their kids.

Thank You

[purple_haize]

It is a real pain, isnt it??

My stepson, 20 this yr. when he was 17 he had to according to him get the hours up, which he started to do............and hasnt done any more and he is nearly 20yrs.

Last Jan (2012) he badly wanted a car, he had money from a payout from an incident yrs ago, so we, my OH, his son and me went to car yards, he knew what he wanted and he bought a car. We gave him an extra $1000 for him to get it serviced regularly under a deal with the car place.

OH drove the car the s/sons home where he lives with his mother & s/father and there it has stayed, 12 months later it is still there, untouched, never driven, $1000 gone, never got the first service.

Now, he is so lazy, cant be bothered getting bus, train or use legs to walk anywhere, but expects OH to drop everything and take him here there and everywhere, which my OH did for awhile, but it has stopped now.

He has been told, if you dont want to learnt to drive, sell the car, and use the legs/bus or train to get to where you want to go.......

The stepson thinks it is all a joke, but he will find out the hard way that the world doesnt revolve around him..........

So, good luck!!

[crystal**flake]

Witches my son, now 20, never got his license cause he HATES driving so I didn;'t push him.

I don't drive him anywhere unless he is stuck eg..getting home from work ect, thats what family does for each other.

I wouldn't be driving him to see girlfriends ect thats his problem to deal with.

[cherry*135]

If he isn't that interested in learning to drive, I would leave it until he is.

However you have good points about you still having to drive him around. Although if he did get his licence and not have a job, he would have to use your car and you would have to pay for the petrol anyway?

Explain to him that if he doesn't go ahead and learn to drive, then you will be limiting the amount of driving him from here to there (to save your time and petrol) and see what he says.

[the*scarlet*pimpernel]

Aren't they funny things, kids I mean. My nieces weren't in any hurry to get their licenses either.

When I was a teenager we counted down the days until we could front up to the copshop and get our L's

[kopenhagen5]

I think you have answered some of your own questions in ways.

A good idea to get him to drive and get the practice as much as possible. It's easy to stick L plates in the window. He may even begin to enjoy it when it's not so new and stressful.

However being cruel to be kind by not dropping off and picking up all the time, may spur him to want to get the licence. Perhaps even sit down and make some ground rules as to the number of lifts he is entitled to every week.

Maybe there are some underlying reasons for not wanting to?

Perhaps mum is a pain and not listening when she is teaching me? (only a thought;-))

Or he doesn't want to loose mum's taxi service?

[purple_haize]

My stepdaughters and my own daughter couldnt wait to learn to drive, and when they all turned 18yrs. had their licience and their cars.

My son had driving lessons and never bothered to get his licience, but that was okay, he walked everywhere or caught the bus/train.

I do think boys are different with these things.

[crystal**flake]

Purple my girl couldn't wait either for her license............ boys being different too girls, hmmm.  I always thought boys couldn't wait to get theirs.

[witches*wol]

Thanks everyone.  I am just really peeved with him.  I didn't get my licence till I was 20 but I had to pay for it all myself.  My dad would no sooner have taught me to drive than fly!  My mum couldn't drive - bad eyesight.

So I know how lucky he is having 2 parents who drive and how lucky he is that we have paid for everything, learners permit, lessons etc.

All stuff his dad and I had to pay for - for ourselves.

[purple_haize]

Yeah Crystal I always thought the same to, but my stepson, doesnt have any inclination to learn to drive now, yet he has a girlfriend, but he expects OH or his mother to take him places, and now they have both jacked up and told him get there the best way you can.

I wasnt interested in getting a licence but my ex husband wanted me to and I went ahead and got it at 27yrs

Boys are strange.