Teaching kids to drive ~ why am I bothering? Scroller

[witches*wol]

Ok I need advice!

Master (I will be 17 on Friday unless mum throttles me between now and then) is being a real pain!

He got his learners permit, has done about 5 hours practice driving (115 hours to go before her can legally get his licence)  For Xmas we bought him 5 driving lessons, he's done one and has 4 more to go.

Talking about it with his aunt today he is all "Oh I really don't want to learn to drive and it's boring and I can't be bothered"

So firstly I am thinking "Ungrateful little horror" then I am wondering why the hell do I care.  If he can't be stuffed and thinks it's boring well then stuff him!

So now do I continue to tell him he is an ungrateful little bugger and give him grief  because I understand how important it can be to have  drivers licence even if he never bothers to buy his own car.  I mean so many jobs require you to have a licence and I've explained that he is going to be really peeved if he misses out on his dream job just cause he can't drive.  And of course he will still have at least 110 hours of practice to do before he can go for his licence so it's not like he can discover his dream job requiring a drivers licence on Monday and go for his licence on Friday.

Or do I just say "Ok do your 5 lessons and then do whatever you like.  Drive or don't drive it's up to you"?

BUT then here is my other question...

Does this mean that I am still to be expecting to be driving him around?

For example he has a girlfriend now but she lives about 50 mins drive from our place which on public transport is more like 1.5 hours.  Now it is a bit quicker if I drive her (with him in tow) to the train station when she is going home.  Should I still be doing this?  I mean he isn't preprared to learn to drive but is quite happy for me to drive him & her around.

Also he goes out to parties we always drive him and pick him up.  Do we need to rethink this too?  Or at least rethink him getting himself to the party but be prepared to pick him up.

He doesn't have a part time job (year 12 this year - concentrating on studies) so either way I am paying for my fuel, or my cash on the public transport.  And there is no way I can afford Taxi fares for him.

Ok All and Any advice is welcome please.  Especially from anyone who has been through similar stuff with their kids.

Thank You

[purple_haize]

Thanks everyone.  I am just really peeved with him.  I didn't get my licence till I was 20 but I had to pay for it all myself.  My dad would no sooner have taught me to drive than fly!  My mum couldn't drive - bad eyesight.

So I know how lucky he is having 2 parents who drive and how lucky he is that we have paid for everything, learners permit, lessons etc.

All stuff his dad and I had to pay for - for ourselves.

Witches.........maybe that is the problem with kids today, we give them too much.

Where as we, when we were their age had to earn it or pay for it ourselves.

[witches*wol]

LOL Purple, yes boys are strange!

I agree maybe half the problem is we do give our kids too much.  😞

So far he has only been driving with me and he has done well.  I haven't yelled once or freaked out at him.  (He is worried Mr Witches will yell at him which is why I take him.)

Now he is learning with RACV and I was hoping that would give him the kick along he needs to really get this done but.... guess not!

[crystal**flake]

Purple, I'm a mean mum, once they turned 18ish they had to get themselves around unless there was a situation.  Family help out each other, but I wasn't going to be a taxi for them at that age. 

Its good they got strong with your stepson

[vintage-star]

Witches, I think I would just not mention the driving any more and you will probably find that he will bring it up at some point!.... There is nothing like thwarting a parent by doing the opposite of what is expected, lol!.... It is a power high for a kid......you may be able to put the lessons on the back burner if you ring the driving school.

I gave lots of driving practice to both my kids and my son eventually got his license, my daughter is 21 and still hasn't got hers..... I drive her everywhere and pick her up because I am a worrier!!.......... Don't do what I do, lol!...... Just tell your son that you will only drive him when it is absolutely necessary, no more girl friend help for e.g.

I seriously think that the older kids are when they get their license, the better, their brains are not programmed properly to recognize danger until they are 24 or 25.

[witches*wol]

Right Crystal,  I look at Master almost 17 and I think "MY God Kid, I was out of school at 15 and had been working full time for 2 year by your age"  and here he is still at school,(Which is a good thing) and still so  dependent on us

[crystal**flake]

LOL Witches I'm sure we all did the same thing...........walked if we wanted t get somewhere.

[purple_haize]

Purple, I'm a mean mum, once they turned 18ish they had to get themselves around unless there was a situation.  Family help out each other, but I wasn't going to be a taxi for them at that age. 

Its good they got strong with your stepson

Well Crystal, they had to, the son would just ring either parent and say...I need a lift, come get me.......it worked for awhile, but I said to OH, by going and picking him up whenever he wants, you are not teaching him the right way. He needs to stand on his own two feet......so finally OH agreed with me and spoke to sons mother and now neither take him anywhere.

When my two kids were in their late teens, well DD had a car, but my son didnt, and it didnt faize him, so I wasnt used as a taxi service....My son loved to walk he would walk miles and miles, no problems.

[kyliecrv]

I also got my Miss 16 5x Driving lessons for Xmas!

Luckily she actually passed and got her L's on Xmas EVE!!

Had 3 already, 1 a week, she is really enjoying them!

I wasn't her to be taught by the professional first so she gets all the basics and things I may forget to actually tell her.... once she is less nervy and more knowledgeable, I will let her practice what she has learnt in my car!

I'm happy to pay for more if needed.

120 hours is so much, and it (rightfully) takes a long time to acquire!

But, I also like that 1 professional lesson equals to 3 hours of our time with them!

[crystal**flake]

I'm probably a bit more relaxed about it too cause my son will eventually live and work in the city so in reality, and this is his argument,  he won't need a car.  It is cheaper to go public transport or taxis.

[purple_haize]

Right Crystal,  I look at Master almost 17 and I think "MY God Kid, I was out of school at 15 and had been working full time for 2 year by your age"  and here he is still at school,(Which is a good thing) and still so  dependent on us

I lived in Adelaide and the leaving age was 14yrs..........the day I turned 14 I was out of school, went to a place and learnt office work, then got a job, so I was working at 15yrs.

My stepson is 20 this yr. no job, on the dole, doesnt care about anyone but himself, drinks & drugs his dole money...........and I had to laugh, his father suggested to him, get a job, anything will do and stepson says........No, I want to be a lead singer in a band.........hello, you got buckleys!!!

What is wrong with the kids today??