Teaching kids to drive ~ why am I bothering? Scroller

[witches*wol]

Ok I need advice!

Master (I will be 17 on Friday unless mum throttles me between now and then) is being a real pain!

He got his learners permit, has done about 5 hours practice driving (115 hours to go before her can legally get his licence)  For Xmas we bought him 5 driving lessons, he's done one and has 4 more to go.

Talking about it with his aunt today he is all "Oh I really don't want to learn to drive and it's boring and I can't be bothered"

So firstly I am thinking "Ungrateful little horror" then I am wondering why the hell do I care.  If he can't be stuffed and thinks it's boring well then stuff him!

So now do I continue to tell him he is an ungrateful little bugger and give him grief  because I understand how important it can be to have  drivers licence even if he never bothers to buy his own car.  I mean so many jobs require you to have a licence and I've explained that he is going to be really peeved if he misses out on his dream job just cause he can't drive.  And of course he will still have at least 110 hours of practice to do before he can go for his licence so it's not like he can discover his dream job requiring a drivers licence on Monday and go for his licence on Friday.

Or do I just say "Ok do your 5 lessons and then do whatever you like.  Drive or don't drive it's up to you"?

BUT then here is my other question...

Does this mean that I am still to be expecting to be driving him around?

For example he has a girlfriend now but she lives about 50 mins drive from our place which on public transport is more like 1.5 hours.  Now it is a bit quicker if I drive her (with him in tow) to the train station when she is going home.  Should I still be doing this?  I mean he isn't preprared to learn to drive but is quite happy for me to drive him & her around.

Also he goes out to parties we always drive him and pick him up.  Do we need to rethink this too?  Or at least rethink him getting himself to the party but be prepared to pick him up.

He doesn't have a part time job (year 12 this year - concentrating on studies) so either way I am paying for my fuel, or my cash on the public transport.  And there is no way I can afford Taxi fares for him.

Ok All and Any advice is welcome please.  Especially from anyone who has been through similar stuff with their kids.

Thank You

[crystal**flake]

Purple same here..........kids need the exercise too.

[0z_girl]

I have a miss 16, but here in SA luckily it is only 75 hours driving.

it is very difficult to fit the practice in, but we are putting in the effort to do it, as it will be alot less running around when she does get her licence.  she may not see it now, but if we don't do it now, she is the one who will be whinging at 19 when she still doesn't have her P's, and is reliant on us to get her places (as we live 10 km out of town)

She pays for everything to do with the car herself, she has been working a casual job for a year now, and managed to save up to buy her own little second hand car. When we run her around to work etc, she drives her car there as part of her driving practice hours, pays for her own fuel and car maintenance/upkeep/rego etc.

kids these days seem to be so much more dependent on their parents, I think its important for them to take some responsibility and contribute to things when they reach a certain age. 

[id-to-post-anything]

Having taught a few, I would definitely say dont push him if he's not ready. He will just be a very nervous driver. When he is good and ready, he will come back to you. I would strongly encourage him to do the 5 with the teacher though. It might give him the push he needs.

In regards to lifts, he does need to learn to take public transport, although i still lift mine when needed. I would rather pick them up then wonder who they are with and where they are.

[vampire-teddy]

i got my learners on my 17th birthday and then didn't get my licence until i was 33.  i worked in a capital city so got public transport including cabs if i went out at night.  i eventually got it because i moved to a regional town with my partner and she had a car so i thought i might as well.  until 2 months ago we had been without a car again for two years.  you can survive without a licence if you want to particularly in a capital city.

[catsnknots]

I feel your pain Witches... 

We live rural and have very limited public transport so thought a car and license were essential... I gave him a car when he turned 18. 

Well, he went to live even further away from public transport when he went to live with his dad... 

he has no desire to get his license.. he told me just a few weeks ago that he plans to live in a city where there is good public transport and has no inclination to learn how to drive right now. 

I am now selling the car.... 

One good thing was that his mates got their licenses and they were doing the picking up and dropping off and all he did was give them money for fuel. 

If he made the choice to not to learn how to drive then he had to learn to live without a license. Make him do the lessons already paid for let it be.. you do not have to drive him around any more... he will need to plan ahead to see his GF. 

[krazy.kiwi]

My sons are now 13 and 14 1/2.  I have been carefully teaching them about Public Transport sine they were very little.

Younger son gets driven from Werribee to Footscray to school most days.  If I am busy or the traffic is much worse than normal, he will get public transport on his own.

Older son does his schooling at home, but I am also giving him more lessons in public transport use and navigation skills as he frequently gets lost.

When younger son is 16, I am pretty sure he will get his learners straight away - at this stage we are thinking of driving around the country for a year between High School and Uni.

I don't want the older one to learn, the thought of him driving terrifies me to the core.  He is bad enough walking and trying to use public tansport. And when he does get lost, he doesn't ring me or stop and ask for help  -he even walked past his grandtather's house when lost once and didn't go in for help. 😞